Monday, March 15, 2010

Home Again



Ok, so when I last posted, I merely suggested that we might have trouble posting some things from China. We did have some issues last time with uploading things. This time when we left, I was unaware that Blogger is now blocked in country, a situation that I discovered the day we arrived. And so, for the next 3 weeks I had been unable to post a thing.
No matter, we are home now! We got in last night, very late after a long day and a half of flying. The flight from Hong Kong to Newark alone was 15 hours. But we made it! I'm so glad to be home and I'm happy to stop living out of suitcases and to get back into a new routine for Asher--I think he needs it. Well, we all do. It was a long trip. Not just in number of days, but in activities and, I think, stress level. I thought it would be only twice as hard to travel with 2 children as our last visit, but I think it was instead exponentially harder. Aside from several difficulties, we did have a good time, and of course, came home with a treasure.

We flew to Beijing for the first few days. Even though Asher is not from the Beijing area and we have been to that city, our agency required us to be there for an orientation, which was very helpful. We even stayed  in the same hotel--a plus because the area around it is full of shopping and many sights and they have a fabulous western breakfast in the mornings. We arrived after about a day and a half of travel, and the jet lag is difficult. I think this could sum it up:

Caleb actually had a fever for the first 2 days in China, so he received plenty of Tylenol to keep him going. I really like Beijing and I think it's a very interesting place. We had wonderful guides that showed us around. Some of the sights we had seen before and some were new to us. We visited the Great Wall and climbed as high as we could without breaking down into exhaustion. Just kidding, it is tiring, though. The steps are uneven and there are many places where it is quite steep. There are several places to visit portions of the wall and climb on it, since it stretches thousands of miles. The area that we visited is about 1/2 hour drive from Beijing, but the wall itself extends all the way to Gansu province, where Caleb is from (picture roughly New York to South Dakota). We had a good time climbing, and several adoptive families from our agency went on the trip.
While in Beijing, we also visited the Forbidden City and Tiananmen Square. Even though we had tried to prepare for the weather by checking the forecast, it was all much colder than we were anticipating. It even snowed our second night, so much of these tours were in the cold. While passing through many places, tourists are often hounded by street vendors who sell just about everything under the sun. Our agency warns us not to buy things from them, as they are usually cheaply made and it encourages pestering by other vendors. My sister Martha, who had come with us on the trip was really in need of a watch or some sort of timepiece, as she had forgotten to bring anything from home. She ended up buying a cheap watch from a guy selling them in the Square. The background was of a waving Chairman Mao. So, these will now be my memories of Tiananmen Square: cheap watches and freezing weather.
We did have opportunities to spend time with several other families also traveling to meet their child who are adopting from our agency. There were eight families from our group in Beijing, all from different parts of the country and all adopting children of various ages. Two years ago, when we were in China for Caleb, we travelled much of the time with 3 other families. Amazingly, one of those families from 2 years ago are adopting again through our agency (a different one than we used for Caleb) and travelled this time again as well! Really, what are the odds of that? They brought their daughter, who was in the same orphanage as Caleb, so it was really neat to see the two kids together and to catch up with them and what they've been up to in the last couple of years. We really enjoyed the time that we spent in Beijing.
The Forbidden City


Tiananmen Square

After going through an orientation about what to expect in Asher's province, eating fabulous food, buying a few souvenirs, etc, we left on a plane to fly south to Guangdong province--the area where Asher was living. The capital of the province is a city called Guangzhou, and is where we were going to stay for the remainder of our trip. All families adopting from China eventually go to Guangzhou, because that is where the American consulate is located. Most families visit a different province first, depending on where their child is from. For example, Caleb was from Gansu province, so we stayed there for a week two years ago before heading to Guangzhou and the consulate. Asher is from the Guangzhou area, so that is why we were there the whole time.
The area of the city where we stayed was a place called Shamian Island, a small area of the city surrounded by the Pearl River. The area was under British and French possession until the 1950s or so, and many of the buildings have a colonial appearance. It also just has more of a western feel to it, a little more removed from standard China. There is even a Starbucks, which I visited daily. I'm not even a huge Starbucks fan, but the coffee at our hotel was impossibly strong. 
We flew in to Guangzhou on a Sunday and prepared to meet Asher the next day. In the afternoon on Monday, we were taken into downtown Guangzhou to the Civil Affairs Office where he was waiting. There were also many other families from other agencies all waiting to meet their child that day as well. Guangzhou is hot and humid--a stark contrast to the freezing Beijing weather we had just endured. The Civil Affairs Office also was without air conditioning. Combined with the fact that we were so nervous, we were all sweating in there. We had to wait in a big room with everyone and the babies were in a different room--something of a staging area--it had a curtain pulled in front of the doorway. One by one, each child was brought out to their waiting parents. I remember our Chinese guide, Catherine, turned to me at one point and said, "you are next." I waited for a small toddler to be carried out to me. Instead, through the curtain came a woman who was helping a little guy to walk over to us. Our Asher! They stopped in front of us, and he looked up at her kind of expectantly, like, what are we doing here? 
He let me pick him up right away. He didn't cry (that came later), he was more like wondering what was going on. A little stunned, to say the least. It was very sweet. 
Asher remained with us for the rest of the trip. The remainder of our time was spent processing adoption paperwork for China and applying for a visa for Asher so that he could come into the United States when we brought him home. During that time, we got to know a few things about him and see more of who he is.
Caleb has been doing very well and is fitting into the big brother role nicely. Asher doesn't like him though, so I kind of feel bad for him. I'm sure he will come around--most people tend to take to Caleb right away, he's pretty likable (and I can't claim any responsibility for that!).
There is a definite difference between the two boys, and we noticed this right away. Caleb had been in foster care for much of his life before adoption. He went through quite a grieving process and had many difficulties with sleeping at first, but he was on track developmentally. Asher has been in an orphanage and not in foster care, so he is not able to do as many tasks as a typical 18 month old. He learns pretty quickly, though, and in the last couple of weeks has already picked up new skills. We have to keep in mind that there are so many things in this world that he hasn't encountered because, when a child lives in an orphanage, they just don't get to experience as many things, especially western culture. So, food, toys, clothing, and many other things are all new to Asher. It takes time to teach him what he needs to know and to give him the understanding that he is part of a family now. 
On our way to the Civil Affairs Office to meet Asher


Our family, finally together





Red couch picture day. The boys are dressed in traditional Chinese clothing to celebrate their heritage.


After finally processing everything, we received Asher's visa and took a train to Hong Kong to stay for a couple more days before coming home. We actually ended up staying at the Disneyland hotel. Even though I'm not a huge Disney fan, we really enjoyed our time there and received some much needed rest before braving our crazy flight home. 
So here we are, home at last. It's not easy to post 18 days of havoc into one blog entry. It was a worthwhile trip and we returned home with a treasure. We feel so lucky to have our two boys! 
Now, if I could just get over this jet lag......


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