Irish Stew

China...Part Two

2012-01-13T13:46:00.017-06:00

We felt extremely fortunate on this particular trip to China. Not just because we stayed safe, had a nice time, were given the means to go,or that we were traveling with a lot of good people, although those are all good reasons for appreciating this trip. Additionally, we felt fortunate because Ellie has been doing so so so well...we were just so happy to see her smiles, hear her little laugh,and watch her interact with us and others.

After we met Ellie in Zhengzhou, we stayed there for several more days before we made a flight to Guangzhou. I, for one, was happy to leave and move on to the next city, mostly for air pollution and weather purposes. And, when walking down the street, we literally had to dodge scooters and bikes right and left, as they are everywhere: in the streets, pedestrian walks, sidewalks, etc. We took a flight to Guangzhou, the second leg of our journey, where we would stay for the remainder of the trip. Most people who adopt from China have to go to Guangzhou for the American consulate portion of the process, even if the baby is from somewhere else in the country, as was the case with us this time. So, our flight to Guangzhou was about two hours, and I sort of used this time as a small test to see how Ellie would do on an airplane (in part because, in the back of my mind, that long flight home was always looming), and she did OK. We arrived in Guangzhou late, met our guide, and were taken to the hotel, which was wonderful.

The next morning, we had to take Ellie for a brief medical exam as part of the immigration process. I was so thankful that this time, we did not need to repeat her immunizations before she could come to the U.S., which we had to do with Asher. The policy has changed back to the former method, where we instead just have to promise that we will immunize her. She otherwise had a basic medical exam, height and weight, and saw an ENT, who performed some basic hearing tests. I was curious as to his response, even though the whole thing was not terribly scientific. After his assessment, he turned to me and in broken English said, "she hear...a little," which was actually the same report we had gotten from her orphanage director when Russ visited. We had noticed this as well, that if we speak in a loud voice, she will turn and look, responding to her Chinese name. She also seems to notice when babies around her cry.

After the exam, she was declared healthy and we left to walk around for a bit. We were not staying in the same part of Guangzhou that we had been for our previous trips--Shamian Island. The main hotel there that many adoptive families use is currently closed for renovation, so we stayed off the island, even though we came back to visit and shop there. I still love the architecture and the feel of the place, which is different from the rest of the city.

A couple of days later, our group took at trip to the Guangzhou zoo, which was a great success. It was quite large, but there was a lot to see and Ellie seemed to pick up on a lot of it, pointing out many of the animals. Because it was just after New Year's day, there were a lot of people out who would normally be at work. We were also slightly harassed by a couple of park workers who followed our group with little bullhorns, shouting "do not feed the animals!" as if we were secretly trying to sneak them food. It was funny, at first...otherwise, it was a really nice day, the weather was great, and of course we saw a couple of pandas in the process.

We were starting to get to the point where we wanted to go home. Our hotel was lovely, we were doing fine, but I was missing my boys and really, living out of a suitcase does get old after a while. Still, we did get to spend time doing different things--some of it was similar to our last trip, while some of it was new. We went to the pearl market, walked around a huge pedestrian mall loaded with people, tried roasted chestnuts from a vendor on the street (delicious!) and ate at some different restaurants. My sister had emailed me early in the trip, updating me about how things were going at home. She closed by saying:

"Take care! And eat some weird food!"

This is my sister we're talking about, the true foodie, who tried all manner of organisms when she visited China with us two years ago. Without her, I was less brave for eating weird things, or maybe it was that I was getting homesick, which is probably why we also ordered pizza more than necessary. We did eat some delicious food on this trip. Of course, there were also times when I couldn't identify some of the food, as well (or, I could identify it but was not going anywhere near it. For instance, chicken feet found on the buffet).

A couple of days before leaving, we had our consulate appointment, which is when we finish up the paperwork for Ellie's visa to enter the U.S., thereby making her a citizen upon arrival. There's also this whole swearing-in ceremony that makes me tear up, every time. We were not allowed to take cameras into the seating area, and they even confiscated our GloWorm at the door, so we didn't get a lot of pictures of this time, important as it was.

I'm sure that I'm leaving so much out, although there is not nearly enough room to write it down (well, I could, but who would read it all?) By the time we were ready to head home, we packed our things, checked out of the hotel, and went to the train station, stopping to pick up the visa on the way. We took a train from Guangzhou to Hong Kong, staying at the same hotel as when we first arrived on the trip. It was so strange to check in there for the night, a mere two weeks after our first stay, yet so much had changed!

The next day, we got up and went to the airport to fly out of Hong Kong, directly to Chicago, which took about 13 1/2 hours. Ellie did very well, but slept very little. We had several people sitting or standing around us who were interested in her and who asked us a lot of questions. I will also say this: I really do like the people of China--they are who they are without apology. What we sometimes consider rude, they are not even bothered by, yet so many people also seem curious and interested in westerners and they are not afraid to show it. As an example, we had some extra seats on the flight, so I moved at one point to give Russ more room to try and give Ellie a chance to sleep (which was unsuccessful, as it turned out). I brought my laptop over to a new seat and looked at pictures from our trip and of our boys, while the guy next to me leaned over and looked at every one with me, as if I had approached him and said, "hey, do you want to look at some of my pictures?" which, I did not, but that's all right. Others, also, came to us and asked a multitude of questions about Ellie and us, every time we stood up or walked around out of our seats, which was kind of nice, until the end when we all just wanted to land and be done with the whole thing. At least we can say that it wasn't boring.

We are so glad to be home. Actually, as I write this, it has been a week! The time has flown. The boys came with my parents to meet us at the airport and ran down the walkway to meet us. Asher, in particular, looked as if he was a foot taller--they both seemed so big compared to Ellie. All three have had their moments of adjustment this past week, obviously so, but we continue to be amazed at how well everyone is doing. Ash is back in preschool, Caleb is back to speech therapy, and Owen came home a few days after we did. Actually, Ellie hates Owen and seems really afraid of him, but that is for another post entirely....

It's good to be home, our family all together at last.

China...Part One

2012-01-09T12:46:00.021-06:00

We're home. And things are going well, actually. If we could get over this jet lag it would probably just feel so normal around here already. Ellie moved right on into our home without looking back. This girl just fits in here like a glove. It's amazing!

As you can probably get from this late post, I was unable to write anything from China. I even thought that I had it figured out before we left, since we had problems when we traveled in 2010, but I was still wrong. It was so frustrating to get there and realize that I was stuck and would just have to wait.

We had a great trip, although it was hard to say good-bye to the boys. For their part, they did very well and through Skype, we were able to stay in contact with them the entire time. Plus, my sister sent several pictures of Christmas so we could see them opening presents and having a good time, which did my heart well. It was weird to be in China on Christmas. Although there were many pictures of Santa (actually, the same picture of Santa posted everywhere), the day felt commercial-only. Many people told us "Merry Christmas!" but I actually think they sort of thought that was what we wanted to hear, seeing that we were westerners. Still, it was an unforgettable Christmas, to be sure.

Russ and I flew to Hong Kong, spent one night, then flew to Beijing on Christmas Eve. It was an interesting experience to be out on a pedestrian mall on Christmas Eve in Beijing, which was so full of people that we were often shoulder-to-shoulder at times in the party atmosphere.

There was also some sort of holiday show going on in the lobby of our hotel, but overall, it was a quiet evening. The next morning, on Christmas Day, we got up to meet the rest of our group and to make another flight. We had opted out of touring Beijing this time, having done it twice before--not that it isn't a great city or anything. Since everyone else in our group had gone through the tour, they had already had a chance to spend a couple of days together before we arrived. We met everyone for the first time and let me just say, what a fantastic travel group we had! Seriously, we met some of the most wonderful families on this trip. We met those of various backgrounds: some having adopted before while for others, this was a first trip to China. Some families were brave enough to bring their children along while others, like us, had made the choice to let them stay behind. There is something about traveling with other families through this important time that seals a bond--not just anyone can say they have traveled halfway around the world together to meet their children at the same time. We were truly blessed by this group.

We flew to Zhengzhou--a city on the smaller side, we'd been told, of roughly 8 million people. You know, small. This place was the capitol of the province of where Ellie has been living since birth and like our previous adoptions, the babies were brought from various parts of the province to the capitol city to meet their new parents. We stayed at a lovely hotel, although I must admit, I had a difficult time here because of the air pollution. The country is not known for its clean air, that's for sure, and I thought I had encountered such pollution and tolerated it well before. But this time...it was just, bad. Taking a walk gave me a headache after a while and there was a perpetual "fog" outside that lasted throughout the day. I had worse problems here than when I went to Lanzhou four years ago, and that city is classified as one of the most polluted cities in the world.

Otherwise, the place was so remarkable and busy and this is where we met Ellie for the first time. The day after Christmas, we drove to the city's registration office where we waited for the babies to arrive.

Ellie was coming from Nanyang and traveling with three other kids as well. They brought her in and she was wearing a big, puffy coat that was new for her and she was just so...quiet. She just sat there and looked at us, back and forth, for the longest time, like she didn't know what to think at all. She didn't cry, she just appeared a little stunned. We had to stay in this room for quite a while, signing papers, and we had a chance to play with her. She started opening up after a few minutes, got down on the floor to play for a bit, and even smiled a few times when we gave her crackers.

We then took her back to the hotel and she stayed with us ever since. After the first night, we went back to the registration office and then the notary tomake the adoption official. The first few days are kind of a blur, and were spent adjusting to this new little person and going to appointments.

Russ had an opportunity to go with several other families to visit Ellie's orphanage in Nanyang, a trip that was about four hours one way. Although Ellie didn't actually live there much of the time, it was the place where she was originally placed before entering foster care. Additionally, most of the babies often return to the orphanages for regular visits and medical checks, so they knew who she was. The families that visited were allowed to see some of the rooms that housed other babies, waiting for families or those receiving medical care while there.

Ellie had lived in foster care for roughly 16 months, from what we can tell. I believe she was about three months old when she entered her foster home, and she lived with the same family the entire time, which is wonderful and also sad. Wonderful because this gives her roots as to the concept of family, sad because they really seemed to care for her and although it was a temporary situation, it was hard to break them up. We also found out during this trip that she had a foster brother who is the same age and was adopted at the same time by one of the families traveling with us. Because we spent time with the families, the two kids still got to see each other, even though they had both left the foster home. It was obvious that they were used to spending time together, and they played and chattered away together like brother and sister. Fortunately, the other family lives only about three hours from us, so hopefully, we will see them again so that Ellie can continue to have that friendship with someone she obviously bonded with at such an early age. In the meantime, it has also prepared her for her own brothers, who she met upon arrival home....

I'm going to stop here because there is still so much to say. I'll include it in the next post and add pictures to Facebook but suffice it to say that...so far, so good!

We're going...soon!

2011-12-16T22:22:00.002-06:00

This week, we received our travel approval to go to China! I was actually very surprised, as we had been told it might be another couple of weeks.

Surprise #2: We are leaving Thursday. Less than a week. Right before Christmas. Thursday.

Even if I thought that we would receive our approval when we did, I never would have believed that we would travel so soon. I mean, its the holidays, its the end of the year, it takes time to get these things done, etc. Because it normally takes so long to get the paperwork through, it's oddly ironic that we somehow have to pretty much drop everything and go. And yet, we've been planning this for a while....

It always ends up until the last minute. Even if I thought I were ready, I will not be. That's the way it is. Russ and I had a babysitter tonight, so we went shopping for gifts for the boys and to buy some clothes and sippy cups and stuff to take with us. We both were wondering aloud why we were doing this so last minute, especially when there is holiday shopping, Christmas parties, and any other number of things to do right now.

I am so excited to go, but there is a minor twinge of sadness because of it. The boys are staying here. That means I won't get to see them on Christmas, I won't be here to tuck them in on Christmas eve or see them open their presents this year. We had found a fantastic deal on a train set this summer that we bought for them and Russ has been setting it up in the basement for them to see and have on Christmas. But it is going to have to wait. More than that, I get sad thinking about their sweet faces and their silly songs. I know it is only 2 weeks. Asher cried and threw a tantrum at me a couple of days ago and I thought, "ok...I actually won't miss this..." I know we can't take them with us--it would be very hard on them with the traveling, the food, the time zones, etc, etc, etc. I know they will have a wonderful time with my parents and it is only 2 weeks. And we are coming home with someone very special.

I mostly just don't think about it right now. I don't want to miss them before we are even gone! So, I'm anticipating our travel, looking forward to meeting our girl, and hugging my guys a little bit tighter these days.

All Kinds of Thankful

2011-12-03T10:06:00.019-06:00

This post is about a week later than I wanted it to be. I was going to say how great of a Thanksgiving we had this year and what a great time we had celebrating with family. And, we did. We had wonderful weather and my family was able to spend some time outside. We visited my parents' house on Thanksgiving day and celebrated with traditional turkey and all the tasty sides that go along with it--potatoes, cranberries,green bean salad, pumpkin pie, etc. There were way too many calories to go around that day.

Afterward, we went outside where my dad actually cut down a tree in the front yard. Despite the traditional food, cutting a tree is not a normal part of our holiday--and this wasn't even a Christmas tree we're talking about. It was actually just this large, out of control tree that was growing in the front yard and had gotten too big. I was a little sad remembering that my parents had planted that tree when they first built their house, 30 years ago.

My brother, taking some of the kids for a ride in the tractor. Check out Caleb's sweet tie that he donned for the day--it's actually left over from when he was two years old. :)

We took a family picture together, sort of an unofficial one to mark our last Thanksgiving as a family of four, before Ellie joins the group. I had some old pictures on my camera when this was taken, and scrolling through, I realized there was one of us from China in early 2010. Look how much we have changed!

China, March 2010

Our family, Thanksgiving 2011

We avoided the Black Friday shopping this year--honestly, I think shopping is hard enough as it is when certain children are along, so there was no way I was going to face the crowds on the biggest shopping day of the year. I think I'll take after my sister and order our gifts online this time, which I should probably get around to doing, seeing that we are now into December. Instead, we decided to put up our Christmas tree on the day after Thanksgiving. Let me say this: I love our tree. It's artificial and extremely easy to set up and decorate. However, there was a time when I was very anti-artificial trees. To me, an artificial tree was the antithesis ofChristmas tradition. It was way more fun to go out, find a real tree and have it cut down, then set it up and bask in the freshly cut tree smell for the next few weeks. The fun of picking it out offset some of the basic tree care, such as regular watering, adjusting it so the bald spots were in the back and vacuuming up the needles.

As time has gone on, though, this practice has become more difficult. For one thing, trees are getting way more expensive, along with everything else around here. I've struggled somewhat with spending so much money on something that was so short-term. Last year, though, did us in. We were set to go on our annual Christmas tree run and we had a place in mind: you went and picked out a live-growing tree and hadthem cut it down and package it for you while the place provided free hot chocolate and cookies. Perfect! So, weheaded there, but got lost, because it was somewhere out in the country. We then found it and realized they were only open on weekends (this was a Friday afternoon). We decided to drive back toward another place that we knew might be open but by this time, everyone (read: my children) in the car was extremely cranky and/or screaming (not me). We found the new place and pulled in, realizing they were only open until 5 pm. I looked at the clock: 4:57 pm.

Russ and I barely spoke at this point to communicate what to do next. We just drove to a store, went inside, and picked out an artificial tree.

So, I'm a convert, what can I say? It has definitely been much better and I do not need to remember to water it. I can see why people hang on to the "real" tree idea for so long, but we had a very easy time putting ours up this year.

Caleb did a great job decorating, although we had to rearrange some ornaments after he was done. Somehow, they all ended up in the same area of the tree...

The finished product

Today, we are having our first snowfall of the season, and it is awesome! I had to step outside and take some pictures, although it was an hour ago and as I write this, the ground is almost covered. It is falling heavily. I do love living in a place with a change of seasons, as we can enjoy weather and see how it transforms the outdoor world around us.

With that, the boys are coming inside from playing, and I'm off to make them some hot chocolate.

2011-11-16T14:17:00.003-06:00

This family is considered to be "special needs." At one time, several years ago when we first started everything, I was against special needs. I thought it was a nice reference to huge medical issues that would require extensive care for the remainder of someone's life.

I suppose this could be true for any child, whether adopted or not. And every child needs love, attention, medical care and extra help when needed. In 2007, we started considering Caleb's (Wu's) file, and I then realized that a cleft lip and palate would be navigable for our family since I was a pediatric nurse. Oh, how much I have learned since then.

I know better about special needs. In fact, we are open to this, being that now three of our children have them. The boys were both born with cleft lip and palate, and Ellie has hearing loss. Do I know how to handle all of these conditions and the potential surgeries/therapies/hearing aids/dental work that we will face in the years to come? No way. Can we learn? Sure.

We have learned a ton about cleft lip and palate and yet, there is still so much that I don't know. I still feel like a doof when I visit with specialists such as pediatric otolaryngologists, pedondists, and prosthedontists. I don't know what these all mean and I'm not sure of their specific job duties, but they work very hard and have made many changes in my sons' lives.

We are seeing Asher advance in his speech that at three, he is mostly intelligible to those around him. His preschool teacher says he does very well in school. Of course, Ash was born with a cleft on only one side of his mouth, while Caleb had two. The first thing I learned: there are big differences between the two. Caleb, either due to his cleft, his high palate and overall mouth structure, or just patterns of learning to speak three years ago, have caused him to have a pretty significant speech disability. He is about 40-45% intelligible to the average listener and about 90% intelligible to us, since we spend a lot of time with him. This year, he has a great speech therapist through the schools that we see once a week. Last week, she gave me an updated goal sheet saying that he had improved approximately 7% since the beginning of the school year. I thought that was awesome! However, his current preschool is causing some difficulties because he is new this year and no one there understands him. Top it off with being the only Asian kid in the class and kids are starting to tell him that they don't speak his language (this is where I acknowledge that pain in my chest...it's my heart breaking...when I hear him tell me these things). He's five. I'm so not ready to see him move into those stages of life where he gets hurt because of misunderstandings. I want to protect him from that but I don't want to be a helicopter parent. He has worked so hard at speech for years and the progress is so slow, but it's there.

Alternatively, we will have a new set of things to learn about when Ellie comes home. Besides having hearing loss, she was born with a condition called microtia, in which the outer aspects of her ears were malformed. It's not very noticeable in pictures, although I'm sure it will be when we meet face to face. Microtia typically affects only one ear in 90% of cases, although in our situation, Ellie's is bilateral. Microtia is almost always accompanied by aural atresia, which is condition that results in absence of the ear canal, hence the hearing loss. Without knowing the extent of her hearing loss, she may need quite a bit of hearing augmentation.

It doesn't change everything, but I've started to take more sign language. We have used sign for years with the boys, as it helps with some of the language transition. We also now use it with Caleb to help him get his point across (although he doesn't really like it because he would rather just talk and be completely understood). Right now, I am close to finishing my most current sign language class--we just took the final and the instructor told us we learn 800 more signs this term. Plus, we have been attending a church lately that offers sign interpreted services.

What does this all mean? I don't know. I'm probably just rambling to say that our kids are not perfect and they have issues with hearing and talking that we will get through. Or, maybe so that if you see us on the street one day, you will see how well-adjusted and intelligible everyone seems (just kidding). I'm more just saying that, as many issues, tests, treatments and therapies that we do, I wouldn't change it for the world. I think back to the days when I would not have considered special needs because I was afraid. It was really only a lack of knowledge. Now, I can say that I'm glad I took the plunge because when I see these three little faces, I know it is worth it.

Happy Fall

2011-11-01T20:02:00.012-05:00

Wow, November. Seriously, where does the time go? I feel as if I haven't blogged at all much in the last month and then I look back and, yeah, it's true. I haven't. This is because fall is simply full of activities, as I'm sure that it is for everyone. I've also been working on 3 large writing projects and some days, I have barely had time to do anything else. This makes me somewhat sad, because I feel like I'm missing out on some really special moments that we won't have again. We are very quickly spiraling toward our trip to China for Ellie and while I'm excited about seeing her, I know that once she joins our family, our lives will never be the same again.

We are experiencing the calm before the storm. And, it's fine. It's nice, actually. We can go places and enjoy things and be in this place where we are accustomed to our family the way that it is. But the "storm" is the trip to China, the weeks and months afterward where everything is in adjustment phase. It isn't terrible--I don't mean to make it sound that way--it's just a lot of adjustment that we will get through. Well, we have twice now, anyway, so I'm assuming we will get through this round, as well, until we reach the other side and find our lives adjusted again; only this time, with a daughter.

We've really had some good times this month, what with all of the fall activities, pumpkin patches and stuff around. The boys and I made caramel apples, but this year, I took the easy route and bought those caramel wraps, rather than trying to melt the caramels and come up with something to use for sticks. It was much easier for Asher, anyway.

We also took the guys to the pumpkin patch--a different one this year that was just great. They are still pretty little, and sometimes, going to these huge, over-the-top pumpkin patches that are geared toward older kids is a little overwhelming (see post from last year at this time). Anyway, this year, we went to a different place that was sort of designed for younger kids, or probably those less than 8 or so. We had a great time playing games, petting animals, taking a hayrack ride and sorting through pumpkins in typical fall tradition.

Last night, of course, we celebrated Halloween. Caleb was Superman this year and Asher was Spiderman. Normally, Russ and I also try to get into the theme, but has anyone ever looked at female superhero costumes? Seriously, there is way more Spandex than my own body can deal with. I considered going as Wonder Woman to try and stay within a theme, and considered getting the Lynda Carter wig and some knee-high boots. However, I don't think I could have pulled off the bustier and bloomers associated with said costume, even if it wasn't 40-some degrees last night. Enough said. We didn't dress up.

The boys had a lot of fun and we went trick-or-treating with my sister's family. Their next-door neighbor is Caleb's age and she was actually dressed up as Supergirl, so those two looked awfully cute together. There was plenty of candy and fun to go around.

Happy Halloween and fall to all! Hopefully, November will not go by without another post, but we'll see how this next month goes!

Two Boys and Their Beds

2011-10-18T14:45:00.006-05:00

Ever since we moved into our house this summer, I have been so happy to live here. Although Caleb initially asked us to do a few drive-by's of our old house because he missed it so much, I have only gone along with it to be nice--not because I miss our old house, because, I do not. Since the day we walked out of the door and into our new home, I have not missed the old place. And maybe I should. Maybe I should be more sentimental about the place...after all, it was our first home and we have a lot of good memories there. We were thrilled to buy it six years ago. But after adding our children and our dog to the space, there were just too many times of feeling so cramped.

So, here we are in our new place, for going on three months now. And we love it. One of the best things about it is that the boys have so much more room--both to run around, climbing on furniture and railings and such, as well as more room for sleeping. Our old house was a 2-bedroom home, with the 2nd bedroom acting as sort of an office during the years when there were no children there. It was so designed to work as an office that it had an outside door that led to a sunroom, which led to the backyard. When we started putting children in that room, we locked the back door all the time, but I never really liked having it there. Additionally, having a large door on one wall takes up a lot of space in a room that isn't too big to begin with. By the time Asher joined the family, we had two toddler beds squeezed into that room, side by side. One bed was partially in front of the door, while the other bed was partially in front of the closet. I was small enough that we had to put their dressers inside the closet because the room wasn't big enough for two toddler beds and a dresser.

When we first moved, we transferred their little beds and dresser along and, even though they are still sharing a room, it was so much bigger! There was room for both beds, their dresser, and extra left over! (This is sounding a little sad). But we were happy with the space, as neither bed had to be placed in front of a window, closet door, interior door, etc. Just regular, old space like a bedroom is supposed to have.

After a couple of months of the little beds, though, we did decide to go ahead and get bunk beds. I must say this: I love bunk beds. Call me weird, I don't care. I always wished for bunk beds when I was growing up and I never lived in a dorm situation in college that used them either. But bunk beds, especially when considering larger beds for two growing boys, have been something that I've wanted to put into our family. And hey, we actually have the two boys to use them! And now, the space!

So, around the time of Asher's birthday, we put the bunk beds together, much to their excitement. I might add that this decision was in part due to a couple of things. 1. Caleb was still using his convertible crib that was changed to a toddler bed 3 years ago, which we bought sometime in 2007 when we were expecting him. He not only had outgrown this bed, but we wanted to change it back to a crib for Ellie. 2) Asher (via second-child syndrome) was sleeping in a toddler bed that we bought on Craigslist and that was falling apart. So, it was time for new beds anyway.

To make a long story short, the bunk beds are set up and excitement reigns in thatroom. They love being able to climb, and although there was a little bit of an argument at first (on their parts) of who would take the top bunk, they have been thrilled to sleep in their new beds. And, their mom is just thrilled to have the room to do it.

L-O-Yay!

2011-09-30T12:39:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, while checking my email during the day, I noticed there was an email from our agency saying that we received our LOA from China! Wow--that was unexpectedly soon! For those outside the China adoption realm, the LOA is technically called the Letter Seeking Confirmation from Adopter, also called a Letter of Acceptance, shortened to LOA. It's a big step. It doesn't seem like a big step at this moment, because it really just seems to add up to more waiting. But it is our confirmation to China that we are still planning to follow through for Ellie and to tell them to issue our travel approval. Our timeline to travel at this point is in "11 to 15 weeks," which I guess is a quote with the average wait times for other families at this point.

This is a good thing. Through the maze of paperwork and waiting, we hold onto that stuff that we can and celebrate the big steps along the way. I love and appreciate having the confirmation that we are on track.

On another note, I suppose I should start getting my act together because time is running out to prepare to add a 3rd child to our family. We did move her crib into her room, but I haven't bought sheets yet. I'm still waiting to paint her dresser that was a gift from a friend. Meanwhile, her clothes are hanging or piled in various places. Shouldn't I be more prepared? What is the deal? I've always had a hard time with this part... I don't like to set everything up and have it sitting there, waiting to be used, but with no child here yet to use it. I don't like to see the empty room and the empty crib and the clothes hanging sweetly in the closet. Someone asked me recently about how I'm coping with the wait. As I've said here, I think I'm coping fine. I'm actually so busy that I sometimes fail to notice how quickly this wait is passing by because so many hours are taken up by the two children who are already here. Or, maybe I just cope by staying busy so I won't have to think about my girl, waiting over there. Anyway, I then end up putting things off until the last minute, until it is one week until we leave for China and I'm doing last minute shopping and arranging, trying to get everything in order, while simultaneously packing to fly overseas. Do other people do this?

Asher=3

2011-09-24T15:59:00.021-05:00

What a busy week this has been! Each week, I think that maybe there will be a little more downtime, somewhere. Each week, I find out that I am wrong. I had thoughts that when both boys started preschool this fall that there might have been a few extra moments of sanity, but instead, I seem to spend the time catching up on all the things that I can't get done any other time when they are home. Oh well, to quote Natalie Merchant, these are the days we will remember.

Asher turned 3 this past week. What a guy. Seriously. I love this kid, even though of course, I love all of my children. But still, Asher has this sweet and kind way about him that I just cherish. And his laugh--when you tickle him, he laughs this deep belly laugh that you can't help but laugh along with.I can really see how he was given a Chinese name that meant "happy" before his adoption, something we tried to carry forward by naming him Asher, since it too means happy.

We celebrated by having a small party with our little family at home and thenon Friday night, we went to my parents house for dinner, cake and ice cream. He did great; he understands now what to do with a present, and he had a wonderful time opening gifts! Actually, a few hours earlier, we had been at the doctor's office for his 3-year appointment, where he received several shots for school. So, he wasn't feeling the greatest at first and simply hung out with Russ for a while, sort of spacing out and clutching a cracker. I wondered how long this would go one, but eventually, he came out of his shell and seemed to do better with a little birthday cake and Tylenol.

This morning, Caleb and I participated in a Fun Run as a fundraiser for his school. It was a1-mile run around the neighborhood. I was pretty impressed with Caleb, as he ran practically the whole thing. I actually went into the thing assuming we would walk most of it--I guess I underestimated Caleb'senergy levels--and right up until the start when the gun went off, I had walking in mind. Except that everyone else started running, including Caleb, and then we just didn't slow down. Afterward, we celebrated with some bagels and bananas and he has already told me that he wants to do another race.

Following the run, we then went to the zoo for a free morning for Asher's school. They boys are in 2 different schools this year, plus neither one of them is in our district where we live. Last spring, Caleb was in preschool with the public school system, but since he technically turned 5 in August, he was eligible for Kindergarten. We opted to keep him out one more year, and since we were trying to movein the spring, we weren't sure where to send him for a preK program. We finally decided on the school he goes to now, since we needed to make a decision to go somewhere, lest he end up being homeschooled becausewe couldn't decide on anything at all. His school is on the north end of the city. Asher, on the other hand, was slated to begin in the same program that Caleb was in last year, but since we moved, he was unable to go to our old school. So, they chose a new school for him, which is in the other direction, south of our house. Between driving 2different directions in the mornings and keeping track of show-and-share days, library days and teacher's notes, it has been a lot of running around. Still, it's only one school year of this. But, case in point, we ended up attending 2 events on Saturday for 2 different schools.

We did have a great time at the zoo as well. Asher is prettybig into animals, and is often fearless at times. There were a lot of kids from school there, as well as some former teachers for Caleb, so he was pretty excited to see them. Well, we all were, because we actually think the program is pretty great. Between the train ride, seeing the camels and petting jumbo-sized grasshoppers, I think the boys had a great time. And then it was time to go home to get some rest!

Ellie Update!

2011-09-21T00:07:00.006-05:00

Well, I'm so excited because today we heard from our agency and were sent a little updated information about Ellie! It was such a nice surprise!

We had sent a care package to her foster family in August. I must admit, I wanted her to have a few things from us, but I also hoped we would get some updates by doing this as well. In the past, we had sent gifts to both boys before their adoptions. In both cases, they arrived on adoption day with one or two of the items we had sent. For Asher, it was the photo album of our family that we gave him so he might have a betteridea of who we are. Caleb arrived with both his photo album and the stuffed beagle we sent to slightly prepare him for Owen (although no one can truly be prepared for Owen....)

Anyway, we followed suit and sent Ellie a care package about a month ago with a stuffed puppy, some socks, a photo album and some chocolates for her foster family. We also sent a disposable camera in case they were inclined to take some pictures of her between now and the day that we meet. We were pleasantly surprised tofind that today they sent an update about how she is doing, saying that they received the package. She has been with the same foster family for over a year, and they have a son and a daughter who live there. I'm so thankful for this...I just can't say. Although I don't know exactly how great the foster family is, she is probably "getting" the idea of family a lot more in this way than by living in an orphanage, we hope.

She has also been saying some words, and has been healthy. They gave us updated measurements, which I had to plot out on the growth chart on my own to see where she was...but it wasn't too bad...18% for her weight.....which is way better than either of our skinny little boys when they first arrived!

I'm so excited to see what she looks like. They only sent one new picture, but it is like gold to me....such a sweet face and little smile. I wonder how she is doing, about her hearing and where she is at on that spectrum. I hope she is happy. I can't wait to see her in person!

Day 37

2011-09-14T07:03:00.005-05:00

Lately, I've had a few people ask me about where we are at in the wait for Ellie and when we think we will travel. Well, the answer is this:

"We are on day 37 of our wait for LOA, then when we get that, we'll file the I-800, then we wait for TA, then we can go."

But, because that sounds like a certain amount of jibberish to many people, I instead usually just say something like this:

"We're hoping to go in January."

So, that's where we are. The adoption process hasn't changed a ton since we started with Caleb's, although there are added requirements that do seem to make the whole thing go longer. We tend to wait at least a little while before announcing our new child to the world because the wait does seem long after that point. With the boys, we waited 8 and 9 months between the time we found out they existed until we actually met them in person. It's long, yes, and pregnancy is a similar timeline, but at least with pregnancy, the baby is already housed with Mom, not learning to walk in an orphanage on the other side of the world. That might sound harsh, but really, I don't have bitterness about it at all. I've come to accept that it does take quite a while for administrative purposes and communication. That's just how it is.

We're waiting for our Letter of Acceptance (LOA), which is a piece of paper saying that we are approved to adopt Ellie. We get this, even though it's already been pre-approved. Writing that down makes it sound like we really are on some type of paperwork runaround, but that's the system. The LOA usually arrives between about 50 and 100 days after our stuff is logged into China. We sign it and then send it back and then file the I-800, a form for U.S. immigration purposes. It didn't use to be this way. With Caleb's we got our LOA and then waited to find out when we could go. But, things have changed and it is for the better since the U.S. became party to the Hague Convention--a step that works to protect children from trafficking and such. So, the I-800 gets filed, which takes a few weeks, and then we wait for our Travel Approval (TA), the point at which they tell us we can go. Most people travel within 2 to 4 weeks after getting the TA.

So, for anyone still reading through that jargon, that is our timeline to Ellie. It might also be easier to say that we are expecting January because her timeline is following Asher's very closely, but we are also being optimistic. We received Asher's referral in 2009 on the same day that we received Ellie's in 2011 (June 3). We also were logged in to China at roughly the same time, 2 years apart in mid-August. And since we left for China in late February of 2010 for Asher, we are being optimistic that perhaps we will leave just a bit sooner this time around? I can always hope.

It's funny how things change. When we were waiting for Caleb, we didn't have children and the wait seemed impossibly long. We were members of a Yahoo! group with other waiting families from our agency, and I followed how everyone else was faring with the timeline. But now, 4 years later, sometimes I barely have time to check on things. I had to calculate that we were 37 days into the wait before I wrote this post, which used to be something I knew every day until we got our LOA. That's how it goes, I guess, so maybe if we don't actually go in January and it ends up being March again, that will be OK. It will work out, I know it.

Air Show 2011

2011-09-11T08:40:00.012-05:00

Yesterday, we went to see an air show with the Blue Angels, sponsored by the U.S. military. It was an awesome display--one that I tried to take pictures of but the planes were going way too fast for my camera. We did have a good time, though. Asher loved the planes and the air displays and kept yelling, "hey! Fast!" The planes are actually quite loud when flying directly overhead, which scared him quite a bit, but after a minute or two, he was back to being excited.

Here's the thing that I thought was the greatest part of the day: right after we arrived, an explosion went off in the distant part of the air field, a sort of fake "bomb" that a plane had pretended to drop as it went by. Asher was a little stunned and he just turned around, practically jumping into my arms because he was afraid. That shouldn't be a big deal, except that a year ago, there would have been no effort to seek his Mom at all....he would have just cried because he didn't necessarily find me all that comforting either! It has taken Asher a long time to "get" that we're family. It was the sweetest thing for me when periodicallyduring the show, turned to me and said, "I'm scared." He's come such a long way, this little trooper of mine.

So, it was a great day in the sunshine, enjoying being part of a family and celebrating our freedom. I could not ask for more!

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

2011-09-07T19:52:00.006-05:00

Trouble? Who...me?

Five

2011-08-30T18:38:00.012-05:00

Back in 2008 when I was in China for the first time, my little 18 month old son seemed so small that to think he would someday turn five seemed like some far-off, futuristic time. Well, the day has arrived. Caleb is five years old today. He's turning into quite a young man. While he is a big fan of Diego, dinosaurs, Cars, great white sharks and such, this year, all the talk was about a certain "beach ambulance" that he was really hoping for. (Note: I do not really know what a beach ambulance is. We were shopping in the store one day and looking in the toy section and he saw this vehicle that had lights and sirens and was pulling a cart that said "HIGH TIDE." He loved it. But when he asked me what it was, all I could think of was, "uh, that's a beach ambulance!" And so it stuck.)

This year, we held a housewarming party/birthday party since we had just moved into our new house. We were so blessed by friends and family who visited and who helpedus celebrate our new home and Caleb's birthday. People were so thoughtful and giving and he was happy with everything. We waited three days (until his actual birthday) to celebrate with our small family with pizza and a few presents. While I love celebrating with other people, I'm also really happy to have our family together. And when I hear, "aw....thanks Mom! I love you!" it makes my whole year. Suddenly, these birthdays seem to come around all too quickly....

Party with friends....

Owen, with one of the housewarming gifts from our party--

our new "housepet" that we named Bowen.....

Party at home with family.....

The coveted "beach ambulance"

Starting School

2011-08-23T06:36:00.009-05:00

The school year has begun and this year, both boys are attending preschool. Caleb is in a PreK program at a new school this year and Asher started preschool with our local school district. Caleb is not yet five, but technically qualifies to go to kindergarten. We opted to keep him out for one more year, however, for him to gain one more year of speech before starting. We signed Asher up for his preschool program this spring, and although I initially thought that maybe he wasn't ready, the last several months, the idea has really grown on me. Then, last week after meeting his teacher and visiting his classroom, his early intervention specialist told me there had been a mistake and he would have to wait because he was not yet three. We were so disappointed! I hadn't realized how much I was liking the idea of him starting. But then, his fabulous teacher made a few calls and determined that yes, he really was eligible to start with the rest of his class! We were thankful, much so because then he can learn the ropes with everyone else at the same time, rather than starting a month later.

While Caleb was pretty excited about his school and enjoyed his classroom, I'm not sure that Asher has really gotten the significance of his school transition. But for me, it is a great success story. Here is a child that, 17 months ago, I had a difficult time taking in public, anywhere, because he became so overstimulated. He has really needed to spend significant time at home to understand the difference a family makes. And now, he has blossomed and is ready to go!

Pink Has Entered the House!

2011-08-14T20:26:00.005-05:00

We aren't really huge about pink around here. Well, not up until now, that is. Being surrounded by men in our home, including my husband, two sons and my dog, we're more about earth tones, dirt, sports, zoo animals, cars, trains and the like. So, when I went shopping to send a care package to Ellie, I was pretty excited to look for girl things. Little girl pajamas, dresses, shoes, hair bows...so fun! I don't know how to raise a girl...in fact I've been researching things like tights and tutus, of all things. Call it preparation, whatever. I'm so looking forward to this new member of our family!

I think perhaps a few people were surprised when we announced that we were adopting Ellie. There is a story behind it, which includes me, at one time, saying that we were done. We had been home with Asher for a few months, I had only been home as a full-time mom for a few months longer and we just weren't in that place. One day, I was working on a writing project related to adoption and was looking for some information about special needs, so I went to the Rainbow Kids website, which has some great articles, some of which are written by adoptive parents. Of course, I started thinking about it all again--I still love China adoption and truly believe in it, but we were in no way ready to go down that road again. I did mentionit to Russ, who basically laughed at me. Fast forward a few months and I couldn't get the idea out of my mind. I was thinking of a girl....a daughter...but how could we do that? One day, we heard a sermon at church about Hesed, faithfulness to that which the Lord calls us. I couldn't get this out of my mind, but was God really looking for faithfulness from us through adoption? Again? We came home and Russ told me the same things I had been thinking....what are we being faithful to? Ourselves? Should we go back? Is there a girl?

So, we decided to start again, although we weren't really forthcoming by telling others about it. The wait is so very long at times, and it really hadn't been terribly long since we were home with Asher. So, we completed our homestudy, had our background checks, did our physicals, and basically set everything in motion. We really thought it would be a long time, too. With the boys, we waited a total of 13 months from beginning to end, each time. Actually, that isn't too long overall when compared with the times of some other families. Usually, though, if you decide that you are open to either a boy or a girl, you may get a boy referral first. For some reason, there are more of those sweet, special needs boys in China who need families, I don't know why. So, we have experience adopting boys. We have never waited for a girl, though, and we really just didn't know what to expect.

We were fingerprinted and processed and certifying and authenticating all while we were trying to sell our house. I have mentioned that our house sale was a true gift--because at one time we weren't sure if we should even sell or not. And, we were thinking of renting or just moving to an even smaller place temporarily, all because we still didn't know how much longer we would have to wait before we could go to China again. Honestly, it was a dark time, those months of trying to sell our house. I'm not sure why. Maybe because it is something of a roller coaster of hoping that someone will buy, but feeling sad about leaving a house that we loved, and also wondering where to move to and how to cover everything. It was a hard process. I have said that I even got to the point where I had accepted the fact that we were probably staying in our house for another year.....maybe it didn't even matter because we didn't have a referral, right? But then, we did sell, and it went fast! Suddenly, we knew we were moving and we needed a place! I was glad to be at the end of our roller coaster and we started trying to decide where we should move.

Three days after we signed our papers, the phone rang and it was our adoption agency. The gal calling introduced herself and asked if I had a few minutes to talk? Even if I didn't I would have made the time, I had a pretty good idea of why she was calling. She wanted to talk to us about a little girl in China and ask us if we would be interested in looking at her pictures and her file. We said yes and so she emailed us the information so we could think about it.

It really did not take much thinking, although Russ and I tried to do the responsible thing and peruse all of the lab results, check out her pictures, read her history and try to look up as much information as we could. We said yes, of course, because I knew when I saw her picture, that sweet little face, she's the one.

We named her Ellie, although her full, English name will be Mary Ellen Yu. The "Yu" comes from a name of the province where she is currently living. She is now 15 months old, lives in foster care and has hearing loss, so we have been making some preparations for testing when she gets here. We have been praying that she will make a smooth transition, although who isn't at least a little traumatized by leaving the foster family/orphanage you've lived in for your entire life to go with some family who looks nothing like you, doesn't speak your language and eats weird food? It can be difficult, as we've seen with both boys. So, we aren't expecting everything to be sunshine and roses, in fact, we're expecting a lot of tears and some difficult adjustments. Maybe we'll be happily surprised if it isn't as bad as we pictured.

But anyway, this baby girl is now waiting to join our family and we are waiting for her. I sent her the care package in hopes that she will have a few things of her own and to share with her current family. Additionally, sending this package gives them a heads up that she has a family. We were told that foster families aren't always notified until travel approval is issued for the adopting family, roughly a month before leaving. So, we wanted to give them time to prepare their hearts for her to say good-bye, and we wanted her to have some pictures so she will know a little bit of what to expect. Maybe it will give her some comfort to see that she will have Chinese brothers!

LID is here!

2011-08-12T12:38:00.003-05:00

Ok, so I am adding this quick post to say that today we received our log-in-date (LID) for Ellie! I know I haven't really posted about her adoption much yet....and I will...soon. The LID is the point where China receives our paperwork and it officially goes "on the books" as being in line for processing. It's a big step, at least for those of us in the China adoption world. Until this point, it is all just waiting. And now we face, well, more waiting. But at least we know that China knows who we are and we are being processed. Hooray! More to come soon....

Up at 5 with Coffee

2011-08-05T05:13:00.003-05:00

Ok, so it has been way too long since I have posted anything here. We're talking nothing yet in 2011 at all! So it is the way things are going around this place. I've always been busy and it isn't as if there is nothing to say.

So, I'm going to start anew, sort of, or at least continue onward and try to catch up. I have realized that I miss journaling here and with everything going on in our lives, I want to have a place to keep track.

It is 5am and I'm awake. With coffee. Although I am a morning person, I do not normally relish these early mornings when I am only awake because I can't sleep. It reminds me too much of my years as a nurse when I was only awake because it was my work shift. Instead of having my first cup of coffee for the day, it was my 10th, and instead of just waking up because my dog is snoring next to my bed, I would have been awake all night. I don't miss those days (nights) much at all.

I'm a stay at home mom and have been now for over 1 1/2 years. My kids are 4 and 2, soon to be 5 and 3. They both have birthdays coming up and they keep me really busy. They both are Chinese and were both born with cleft lip and palate. We adopted them two years apart and have been home with Asher since March 2010. This is how time flies. When we came home with Ash, we both thought, that is it, we are done. We have two wonderful boys and we are blessed. We were happy and truly very busy. I spend a lot of time caring for them, taking them to speech therapy and other lessons and I work from home as a writer. So sometimes I do find myself awake at 5 am and it's not always a bad thing--it's peace and quiet.

Up until 3 weeks ago, we lived in a small, 2-bedroom home--our first house that we loved. Ok, I loved it when we first bought it and for many years of living there, but then it became cramped. Perhaps it is because it used to be just Russ and I. Then, we added Owen, our dog, who really doesn't take up too much room. We brought Caleb home to that house in 2008 and then, two years later, Asher. Even before we adopted Asher, we thought of moving but decided against it because it just didn't seem like the right time. Then, once we were home from China, we didn't realize how close of quarters it would be with two kids. But we didn't feel we could move yet, what with just returning from traveling across the world and managing a new 18 month old in the family.

Once we decided to move, we were so excited to think about a new house but we also realized how difficult it would be. We had waited a year past the first-time home buyer stimulus that may have brought a buyer in for us. Instead, we waited for it to sell but we sometimes weren't sure that it would because it seemed, well, small. Once, after an unsuccessful open house, our realtors mentioned that there was one retired couple who was looking at it and who they thought might be interested. The couple instead said they were retiring and moving to the area, but no, the house was too small. Our realtors asked them about what line of work they were retiring from. They were overseas missionaries! So, even for someone retiring from a career of living in a developing country, our house was suddenly too small. We wondered if it would sell.

As the end of our contract grew closer, we started to think that maybe we were meant to stay. Maybe we should wait and sell it ourselves next year? We thought we could save on paying real estate fees and although we were squeezed, we could try again later. After several months of getting a last-minute call for a showing and then running around trying to clean and get everyone out of the house for 1/2 hour so someone could see it along with 10 other houses in the area, we were getting tired. So, we resigned ourselves to that. And it wasn't all that bad. I had been praying about it all as the months went by and I had gotten to the point that either God wanted me to give up thinking so much about this house and its trials or that we were really just supposed to stay for a while longer.

The last weekend of our contract, Memorial Day weekend, we decided to go camping. We knew that once we got back, we could take a break from trying to sell. The Friday before the holiday weekend, we got a call that someone wanted to see the place. Fine. A lot of people had seen it, it didn't mean much to us. The next day, as we were leaving town for our camping trip, we got a call from our agent that the person who had seen the house wanted to see it again. We would be out of town anyway, so why not? We weren't too sure about any of it at all and we knew that once we got back from our trip, the whole thing would probably be over for a while. Instead, we came home to an offer on the house. Suddenly, we were selling! We had to quickly change our mindsets--for so long living while wondering if we were staying or if we were going, and we were going!

I did wonder, for a brief time, what it all meant. I was trying to find some meaning in it, maybe that is foolish, but that is how I am wired. Why get to the point where we knew we would be OK to stay in our house for another year only to have it sell so quickly? I didn't quite understand. But then, three days after our sale, we got a phone call from our adoption agency with some news.....and then, it started to make some sense to me. But I'll leave that for another post.

Suffice it to say that I love living in our new house. We actually bought it quickly after our other had sold. We took six weeks to close and we moved in the middle of July. Oh, how I love it here! There is so much more room, a wonderful backyard, an upstairs, a master bathroom (!) and even floors that do not creak so that when I get up at 5am and head downstairs, I don't wake anyone up. That's a feat that wasn't possible one short month ago. Yes, I'm so thankful for this house. It is a perfect fit for us and we love it. I can totally see us raising our boys and our soon-to-be-home daughter, living here.

Consider Adoption

2010-11-13T07:30:00.010-06:00

November is National Adoption Month. I love to have the chance to do my part to raise awareness about adoption and the kids who wait for homes everywhere. Sometimes, I think the word "awareness" is a funny term: haven't people heard of adoption? It's been going on for centuries. But I also feel that sometimes people may look at our family or others and think about it, but not truly know if it is possible for themselves or someone else that they may know.

We are a conspicuous family. It's pretty obvious that, when Russ and I head out somewhere with the boys that they are adopted. I do get a lot of people that ask me about it; the process, is it worth it, or just sometimes the odd statement thrown out there. Responses for our family range from the nicely curious--("is this something you've always wanted to do?") to the rude ("oh...you can't have a baby?"). Entering into a conversation with anyone who is semi-serious about the whole thing often leads to discussions about each of our choices about how to build a family, which I love. But I also often hear from people who say things like, "I've always wanted to adopt, but...we could never afford that, or I don't know if I could love him or her as much as my other children, or my husband isn't on board, etc." This is fine. In fact, it's good, because the whole thing is not something to enter into lightly. But for anyone on the fence, or who is almost there, or just who has something in their heart that won't let go of the idea, I want to share a few things.

It used to be that adoption was a second choice--it is often still treated that way, but there has been something of a movement to change this. Many couples who wanted to be parents chose adoption because they could not have a biological child. Adoptions were often secret, with parents raising a child and never telling her the truth until she was an adult. Even our own first adoption started because we were infertile, although we could have done much more to have a biological child. I always wanted to adopt, but I'm afraid if I had a baby in the beginning that I would never have adopted my children because I was too busy or whatever else happens.

But we did adopt, and in so doing, changed our minds and our lives about what we want. When the time came for our next child, we did not even consider entering into infertility treatments. We adopted. That seems to also be the trend among a lot of people who are changing the face of the whole process as well. Even for people who can have a biological child, I've met many who choose to adopt because it is about the child and providing him a place to have a family, too. Loving him as your child may not be there instantly (although in some cases, it is), but just as any other relationship grows, so does your love for this child. I don't know if it is the same as a biological child--not having any of those, I'm the last to speak about that--but I can say that life becomes unimaginable without this child. I'm pretty sure most parents would say the same about their own biological child.

The transformation is amazing as well. What I felt from several initial photos to what I see now all the time is a wonderful process of growth and change. I see children who once didn't have a home that are now very much at home in their new family.

From this:

To this:

And this:

To this:

For those who wonder if they could afford the whole thing, it is a touchy subject. No one wants to ask about money (well, some people don't care), but the truth is, it does cost. It costs to pay for an agency or attorney to facilitate the whole thing; for documents to be notarized or sometimes translated; and in many cases, for travel, whether to another city or another country. It costs time and energy and requires emotional stamina when you don't have an answer about how much longer it all takes.

Cost is involved. But so is help. I didn't know this when we started, but I have learned a bit over the past 4 years about some of the resources that are available out there. For instance, many employers offer some financial assistance and the same family leave and benefits as a birth child. There are also places such as the National Adoption Foundation which offer help in the form of grants and no-interest loans as well as Show Hope, which offers ideas for fundraising. Google "adoption grants" and see what happens.

Last night, I was reading the latest news about the Duggars, the TLC family of 19 Kids and Counting! Apparently, the oldest child, Josh, is married and has one child. He and his wife are announcing her next pregnancy and she is due next summer. What was interesting about the whole thing was the sheer volume of comments that people posted about the situation: over 500. I didn't read them all, but I scanned through a bunch of opinions that ranged from supportive ("congratulations! what a wonderful family!") to the just plain mean ("insane! breeders!" etc). It made me sad to think that people give up so much time and energy to criticize people they don't know. On the other hand, I thought "19 kids? You could have adopted half of them instead and still had your big family and you might have made a small dent in the huge number of orphans who only wish they could have such a home."

There are 143 million orphans throughout the world. If you even think about it at all, even consider it in the smallest way, it might be worth considering or looking into even more. Maybe the time is right and maybe not, but I promise if you go forward, it will change your life. And a child's.

"Do not be afraid, for I am with you;

I will bring your children from the East and gather you from the West.

I will say to the North "give them up!" and to the South "do not hold them back!"

Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth...."

---Isaiah 43: 5-6

2010-11-02T19:12:00.005-05:00

This year was Asher's first Halloween. I have to wonder what was going through his head as we dressed him up as a pirate to wander the streets with a thousand other kids. Once again this year, we went to my sister's home because her neighborhood is crazy with trick-or-treaters. We had a good time with our nieces and nephews as they went in search of candy. I was afraid that Asher would be overwhelmed by all the people, but after hitting a few houses, he figured out what was going on. He kept yelling "way me!" (wait for me!) as he ran and tried to keep up with the big kids.

Caleb was a fire fighter this year. Ever since we visited the fire station this summer, he has been so excited about fire trucks and when the local fire fighters were buying groceries in the store near us one morning, it was all he talked about for the rest of the day. Between that and Bob the Builder, I'll be interested to see where his interests go as he grows up. He's our hardworking boy.

Pumpkins and Other Stuff

2010-10-21T08:37:00.007-05:00

So, we made it to the pumpkin patch this year. A friend of mine took us one day to this place that we used to go to when I was growing up. Although, at that time, pumpkin patches were not that popular and this place just had pick-your-own strawberries (a huge treat to me as an 8 year old). Anyway, they have expanded to include a haunted house, other games, climbing stuff and a hayrack ride. Of course, picking out the best pumpkin (to Caleb) was the most important part of the day.

This was fun, but let's not be fooled. The day was also punctuated by Asher throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of it all. Not to put a damper on things, but I'm being honest: seeing my child stand, screaming, in the middle of a cornfield while other parents walk by, pointing and whispering, is not the highlight of my day. What I really wanted to say was "You've never seen a 2 year old have a tantrum before? Move on!" But starting a fight at the pumpkin patch is probably not a good idea.

A couple of years ago, right after we brought Caleb home from China,one of my friends had a baby. Around that time, I was discussing parenthood with another, mutual friend to usboth. She commented to me that it was hard for her to see us facing judgement from others all the time about our parenting methods. At the time, it didn't make sense to me. I thought, I don't care if people judge me...that's their own problem. But, 2 1/2 years later, and staying home full time, I feel it. And I know other moms do, too.

It's hard to take a screaming child anywhere and sometimes you never know when it will happen. As much as I would like to post cute pictures, that isn't every day. It's a snapshot of a great moment, that's all. Many other times, it is also awful and embarassing. And I can say that because, whether you are willing to admit it or not, if you are a parent, you've been there too. I've avoided the nasty stares from people in public, knowing they're wondering why I don't control my child better. I know, because I've probably done this to other women as well.

A couple of weeks ago, I went to the library to work on an article that I neededto finish writing. It was also my chance for the day to take a break from being home all day with theboys. I was working in the library and a woman nearby had brought her toddler. They were wandering around through the shelves, and he was having a meltdown because he didn't want to be there. I was annoyed. I went to the library for quiet and concentration because it was away from my own screaming children. I did not need to hear it there, too. I avoided looking at her, though, because I've been there.

So, for all those moms out there (or, really anyone reading this), let's go easy on each other. There's no need to judge or to make comments. We all choose how we are going to parent, if we decide to work or stay home, or if we are going to do it alone or with the help of a spouse. Mean looks and comments don't help anyone. The next time you see a mom struggling with her child, don't stare. Or, better yet, help her if you can. You never know when you might need some help yourself.

On that note, we still did have a good time at the pumpkin patch. I love this fall weather and it has been so beautiful lately. We'll enjoy it as long as we can!

Here are some snapshots of great moments:

Happy Anniversary!

2010-10-09T11:49:00.003-05:00

Today is Russ and my 6th wedding anniversary. Somehow, it feels as if it should be longer than 6 years. There has just been so much. This morning, while listening to the silence of our house, I was thinking about how I could not have imagined all that we would accomplish and do in these first few years of our marriage. Who knows what the next 6 years will be like? Or 6 months for that matter?

Our boys are with their grandparents so we could have a little time to ourselves. We spent yesterday morning being fingerprinted at the State Patrol (really, what could be more romantic?) Actually, since we are finalizing Asher's adoption soon here in the United States, but our agency told us that since it has been more than a year since our background checks, we needed to redo them. As if I have time to commit crimes or deal with being arrested, but, whatever. So, since Russ had the day off, we spent the morning completing that fun task.

We had dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, which was so good. The fettuccine alfredo with chicken and sun-dried tomatoes was amazing. As I've mentioned, we're foodies and although I don't have the most experience with cooking abstract and innovative dishes that include the highest quality ingredients that are organic and additive-free, I do love to eat. So, eating without a small child whining or throwing food nearby falls high on my list.

Today, our house is quiet, except Owen, who is still around and barking at our neighbor's garage sale. Otherwise, we have the day to ourselves. We have already had coffee and breakfast with friends to celebrate another friend's 40th birthday, we've looked at houses that are for sale in town (a subject for another post entirely), and we're thinking of going out to lunch, simply because we can.

It's a wonderful feeling. What am still doing here? I'm going to go enjoy our day.

Asher Turns 2

2010-09-30T15:33:00.005-05:00

Asher turned 2 years old on September 21 and we celebrated with family and a small birthday party. He is still figuring out a lot of things, including what to do with a wrapped present. He still did not understand that the whole thing was about him, but that is OK. Caleb offered to help with opening gifts and pretty much did it all for him anyway. Strangely, I remember a time when Caleb did not understand the idea of birthday presents, either.

Asher's birthday is actually a guess on the part of the orphanage workers in China where he lived the first months of his life. He was assigned that birthday according to how old he looked when he arrived. He actually had a note pinned to his jacket stating that his birthday was in August, but we were told that some of the Chinese who live in rural settings follow a lunar calendar and the dates are off by approximately a month. So, his birthday is officially the 21st of September for paperwork and citizenship purposes. That's ok, we love him all the same.

This week we travelled to Colorado for the funeral of my wonderful aunt Cindy. She was an amazing person who left behind a husband, four children and two grandchildren when she died unexpectedly. Although I was happy to see my cousins and family, I wish it had been under different circumstances. We loved her very much and I'll miss her.

Asher did not go with us to Colorado, but instead stayed withRuss' parents. We dropped him off at their house on the way. I had some misgivings about this. Not that I don't trust Russ' parents to take care of him. And not because I thought he should have gone to a funeral. Instead, I was fearful that he would think that he was moving on to the next place to live. He stayed with them for 2 days, but he didn't know how long he would be there. Six months ago, he packed up and moved away from his world and came to live with us. Although we knew it was what was best for him, he didn't know anything. His life was not that great: he lived in an orphanage with a staff to child ratio of 20:1. But it was familiar. For all he knew, he was living with us for only six months and then going somewhere else.

So, I was nervous that he wouldn't understand. And he didn't. He cried fiercely when we left, but we had to go.

Then, on the way home, we picked him back up and he greeted us with the biggest smile and hugs. As we were packing to leave Russ' parents to take him home, he started crying again, very hard. We tried consoling him and trying to make things better, but to no avail. Finally, I realized why he was crying. He thought we were leaving without him.

We drove home as a family, listening to Zac Brown in the car. I looked back at him, happily singing along with the music and looking so content and it warmed my heart. All I could think of was, you belong here. You belong with us.

At two years old, Asher has a family to call his own and that makes him happy. He may not know whatto do with birthday presents or how to blow out candles, but he knows he has a family where he belongs.

2010-09-10T23:15:00.015-05:00

I'll be the first to admit that I have been terrible with blogging lately. And I'm not going to make a bunch of excuses that there's been a lot going on, etc.,etc.,....but it's true. This has been one busy summer. Now that school has started and things are heading into fall, I'm looking forward to the change in routine. And, the cooler weather. Hooray! I know horrible weather/disasters/adverse events were all happening everywhere this summer, but jeez. We have needed a break from the heat and I think it is here.

I won't go into everything we did this summer, partly because it would be just plain long and probably not that interesting to anyone else. So, I'll just put a few pictures in here to sort of show what we've been up to this summer, now that it is so close to being over.

Happy fall to all!

Good buddies, Caleb and Owen

Asher tries to be just like his big brother

Our Asher is growing more every day...

Caleb turned 4 at the end of August

Back to school!

Mouth Stuff

2010-07-09T07:40:00.007-05:00

Summer is closing in on being half over, but it has been pretty good so far. Today, I'm taking a moment to update before sending Caleb to summer school this morning. He has been going this week as an extension of some of the speech stuff he does throughout the school year. He will then have another month off before starting back in his regular program for the fall.

The boys both had surgery on June 22 and we have been so grateful to be with this new cleft team. I think they did a fantastic job and the care they show for Caleb and Asher is obvious. We went into the hospital early on Tuesday and Caleb went first for his surgery. He did really well. I may have mentioned this before, but he had a fistula open in the roof of his mouth after his initial cleft repair 2 years ago. So, his surgery was to close the fistula, hopefully improving some of his speech. I saw the roofof his mouth the day we went home from the hospital and it looked awesome!! Asher's surgery was second, and he also did a great job. His palate was still open since birth, so his surgery was to repair the defect. We were in the hospital overnight for one night and then went home the next evening. For several days, everything was great, although Asher totally did not like his arm restraints at all. He really let us know it, too!

After about 5 days of being home, Caleb got sick. After breakfast one morning, he began vomiting blood, so I called the surgeon and he met us in the ER. When we first arrived, Caleb seemed fine again, but I wasn't convinced. I know what I saw at home was not normal and I was so nervous that we would be sent home after observation. But then, he was getting sick again and vomiting a lot of blood. The color drained from his face before our eyes. Even the ER staff seemed nervous, like, uh, that's a lot of blood coming from that 3 year old. It seemed hard to believe that it could just be from his palate repair, there was so much. They whisked him back to surgery so fast. He was very upset and I was allowed to carry him to the farthest point before they took him away into the OR. He was crying. It was so difficult to let himgo!

Fortunately, things were fixed up. He lost a lot of blood but avoided a transfusion. His palate repair was bleeding in the top portion--in his nose. The blood was running down the back of this throat, so we didn't see it right away until it made him sick. He went home the next day, sunny as ever, like it didn't even happen. I love that about him!

We've spent the last 2 weeks recovering here at home and yesterday we went back to see the doctor for follow-up. The good news: Asher's repair looks wonderful. It is closed completely and he is trying to talk more all the time. He is in speech and making progress with some words. Both boys are on soft diets (an improvement from the liquids they've had for the last 2 1/2 weeks) for one more week and then they can eat normally again. They no longer have to wear their arm restraints (yay!). So, these are all good things.

The bad news: Caleb has a fistula that opened again after surgery. It is almost as big as the one that was there previously. Sigh. The doctor believes it is due to his mouth structure, and surgically closing it won't work until they do some other work first. So, he gets a month off and then gets an appliance placed that will stretch his upper jaw, hopefully after that he can get a prosthesis for theroof of his mouth.

So, it's a lot of stuff, but that's part of the deal. We rejoice in his successes as he continues trying new words. We also feel so blessed for all of the help and support that we've have received: hope and prayers for those who want to see our boys succeed.

Summer

2010-06-13T20:04:00.009-05:00

How is it possible that we have been home 3 months? Where has this time gone? I don't know. I guess "busy" is an understatement, but most people with small children can say that. This has been quite the time of adjustment for us and I have been more than a little overwhelmed at times with doctor's appointments, attachment issues, and behavioral stuff. It's all so weird anymore that many times I have this surreal moment in time and think, how did I get here? Just tonight, Russ and I were in the kitchen with two kids that were having a contest to see who could scream louder. We looked at each other and I said, "remember 1997?" In 1997, I knew Russ, but we had not an inkling that someday, in 2010, we would be not only married to each other, but sitting in our kitchen with our two Chinese screaming little wonders. 1997 was a good year. Things were so much easier back then.....

Asher has been progressing, however slowly it may be. We have seen a tremendous difference between his abilities and overall development than what Caleb was doing at the same age. It is impossible not to compare the two. Asher, being in an orphanage, was terribly understimulated for the first 17 months of his life. For weeks after we met him in China, he screamed and cried over nothing and over everything. It hasn't been easy, I'll be honest. He had ear tube placement surgery in April and he has done much better. We are at the point where he is really so so much happier. He has this adorable smile that I saw in a picture once in January. In China and for a long time afterward, Russ and I, in our sleep-deprived/somewhat-not-clearly-thinking states often wondered if we had been given the wrong picture. Or maybe the wrong child! Turns out, it really is him. He's getting more teeth, and he is so much more interactive. We have been working with early intervention and even his words are coming along. He still babbles a lot but he imitates so many sounds and actions. He loves cars and trucks and he and Caleb have this chasing game going on frequently that I don't quite understand, but they have fun. So, it's a lot better and it continues to be so all the time.

Caleb, too, had a rough time coming home. He decided that he did not want a brother. The excitement wore off after about 5 minutes and then we proceeded to deal with some really bad tantrums and other patience-inducing behaviors. I'll share this story of an early event that occurred coming home:

Caleb has been out of diapers for a year, but it can be expected that with a new sibling, some amounts of stress happen and kids regress. We tried to expect this, and Caleb delivered. He began wetting his pants again beginning even in China. On the day that we came home, we had a super long day. Our flight from Hong Kong to Newark was 15 hours and then we had a seven hour layover there before flying into Omaha. When we landed in Newark, we were met by some good friends, Lee and Lois and their daughter Larisa, who live in the area and who we haven't seen in years. So, we spent some time with them at this little cafe in the airport during our layover. The boys were even being good, considering the long flight we had just finished. They were drinking apple juice and we were happily visiting with our friends. Pretty soon, Lee and Lois had to go home, so we packed up our area and started to head toward our terminal for the next flight. As we were picking up our bags, I was annoyed because I realized that someone had spilled apple juice all over the floor. Some of it was even on my bag and I tried to wipe it off. I picked up my bag and some of it was getting on my shirt as well. I was trying to round everything up and get our children together when I realized that Caleb was walking funny. It was then that I realized that he had wet his pants. I then had the slow, dawning realization that it was not apple juice on the floor, or my bag, or my shirt!

Because of so many little things, I have had trouble keeping up at times and the blogging has suffered. But hopefully, things will continue to get better. We have been having a great summer so far and we have much to look forward to. My brother got married last weekend and Caleb was the ring bearer. He did a great job and took his title pretty seriously. I loved seeing him in his little tuxedo--a replica of my brother's. We had lots of family come from out of state for the event and I so enjoyed seeing everyone and catching up with cousins, aunts, uncles, and longtime friends. It was great!!

Coming up on June 22nd, both boys are having surgery. We recently took them to see a different craniofacial team, one that is closer than the hospital where Caleb had surgery two years ago. We have also been somewhat frustrated with the first hospital because Caleb has had ongoing speech issues that I feel like they haven't been addressing. It's a long story, but I met a woman who was part of our local cleft team and we were able to get an appointment with them. It is thought that maybe part of Caleb's speech stuff has been related to the fact that he still has a large fistula (hole) in the roof of his mouth that opened up two years ago where he had his original cleft palate repair. The fistula is big enough that closing it (essentially having another half cleft palate surgery) may help with some of his sounds. Also, his upper lip has a very tight muscle and he can barely move it or show his upper teeth at all. Brushing his teeth every day is quite the project. So, he will have some work done on that lip as well to hopefully loosen it.

Asher still needs his palate repaired, so he will have his done on the 22nd as well. The same doctor is doing both surgeries and they will be back to back that morning. I think we'll be in the hospital 2 or 3 days. So, I'm trying to be a brave soul here and just get it over with. Once we get through all of the hospital stuff, it should be fine. Then, hopefully we can just enjoy the rest of our summer......

Home Again

2010-03-15T13:38:00.016-05:00

Ok, so when I last posted, I merely suggested that we might have trouble posting some things from China. We did have some issues last time with uploading things. This time when we left, I was unaware that Blogger is now blocked in country, a situation that I discovered the day we arrived. And so, for the next 3 weeks I had been unable to post a thing.

No matter, we are home now! We got in last night, very late after a long day and a half of flying. The flight from Hong Kong to Newark alone was 15 hours. But we made it! I'm so glad to be home and I'm happy to stop living out of suitcases and to get back into a new routine for Asher--I think he needs it. Well, we all do. It was a long trip. Not just in number of days, but in activities and, I think, stress level. I thought it would be only twice as hard to travel with 2 children as our last visit, but I think it was instead exponentially harder. Aside from several difficulties, we did have a good time, and of course, came home with a treasure.

We flew to Beijing for the first few days. Even though Asher is not from the Beijing area and we have been to that city, our agency required us to be there for an orientation, which was very helpful. We even stayed in the same hotel--a plus because the area around it is full of shopping and many sights and they have a fabulous western breakfast in the mornings. We arrived after about a day and a half of travel, and the jet lag is difficult. I think this could sum it up:

Caleb actually had a fever for the first 2 days in China, so he received plenty of Tylenol to keep him going. I really like Beijing and I think it's a very interesting place. We had wonderful guides that showed us around. Some of the sights we had seen before and some were new to us. We visited the Great Wall and climbed as high as we could without breaking down into exhaustion. Just kidding, it is tiring, though. The steps are uneven and there are many places where it is quite steep. There are several places to visit portions of the wall and climb on it, since it stretches thousands of miles. The area that we visited is about 1/2 hour drive from Beijing, but the wall itself extends all the way to Gansu province, where Caleb is from (picture roughly New York to South Dakota). We had a good time climbing, and several adoptive families from our agency went on the trip.

While in Beijing, we also visited the Forbidden City and Tiananmen Square. Even though we had tried to prepare for the weather by checking the forecast, it was all much colder than we were anticipating. It even snowed our second night, so much of these tours were in the cold. While passing through many places, tourists are often hounded by street vendors who sell just about everything under the sun. Our agency warns us not to buy things from them, as they are usually cheaply made and it encourages pestering by other vendors. My sister Martha, who had come with us on the trip was really in need of a watch or some sort of timepiece, as she had forgotten to bring anything from home. She ended up buying a cheap watch from a guy selling them in the Square. The background was of a waving Chairman Mao. So, these will now be my memories of Tiananmen Square: cheap watches and freezing weather.

We did have opportunities to spend time with several other families also traveling to meet their child who are adopting from our agency. There were eight families from our group in Beijing, all from different parts of the country and all adopting children of various ages. Two years ago, when we were in China for Caleb, we travelled much of the time with 3 other families. Amazingly, one of those families from 2 years ago are adopting again through our agency (a different one than we used for Caleb) and travelled this time again as well! Really, what are the odds of that? They brought their daughter, who was in the same orphanage as Caleb, so it was really neat to see the two kids together and to catch up with them and what they've been up to in the last couple of years. We really enjoyed the time that we spent in Beijing.

The Forbidden City

Tiananmen Square

After going through an orientation about what to expect in Asher's province, eating fabulous food, buying a few souvenirs, etc, we left on a plane to fly south to Guangdong province--the area where Asher was living. The capital of the province is a city called Guangzhou, and is where we were going to stay for the remainder of our trip. All families adopting from China eventually go to Guangzhou, because that is where the American consulate is located. Most families visit a different province first, depending on where their child is from. For example, Caleb was from Gansu province, so we stayed there for a week two years ago before heading to Guangzhou and the consulate. Asher is from the Guangzhou area, so that is why we were there the whole time.

The area of the city where we stayed was a place called Shamian Island, a small area of the city surrounded by the Pearl River. The area was under British and French possession until the 1950s or so, and many of the buildings have a colonial appearance. It also just has more of a western feel to it, a little more removed from standard China. There is even a Starbucks, which I visited daily. I'm not even a huge Starbucks fan, but the coffee at our hotel was impossibly strong.

We flew in to Guangzhou on a Sunday and prepared to meet Asher the next day. In the afternoon on Monday, we were taken into downtown Guangzhou to the Civil Affairs Office where he was waiting. There were also many other families from other agencies all waiting to meet their child that day as well. Guangzhou is hot and humid--a stark contrast to the freezing Beijing weather we had just endured. The Civil Affairs Office also was without air conditioning. Combined with the fact that we were so nervous, we were all sweating in there. We had to wait in a big room with everyone and the babies were in a different room--something of a staging area--it had a curtain pulled in front of the doorway. One by one, each child was brought out to their waiting parents. I remember our Chinese guide, Catherine, turned to me at one point and said, "you are next." I waited for a small toddler to be carried out to me. Instead, through the curtain came a woman who was helping a little guy to walk over to us. Our Asher! They stopped in front of us, and he looked up at her kind of expectantly, like, what are we doing here?

He let me pick him up right away. He didn't cry (that came later), he was more like wondering what was going on. A little stunned, to say the least. It was very sweet.

Asher remained with us for the rest of the trip. The remainder of our time was spent processing adoption paperwork for China and applying for a visa for Asher so that he could come into the United States when we brought him home. During that time, we got to know a few things about him and see more of who he is.

Caleb has been doing very well and is fitting into the big brother role nicely. Asher doesn't like him though, so I kind of feel bad for him. I'm sure he will come around--most people tend to take to Caleb right away, he's pretty likable (and I can't claim any responsibility for that!).

There is a definite difference between the two boys, and we noticed this right away. Caleb had been in foster care for much of his life before adoption. He went through quite a grieving process and had many difficulties with sleeping at first, but he was on track developmentally. Asher has been in an orphanage and not in foster care, so he is not able to do as many tasks as a typical 18 month old. He learns pretty quickly, though, and in the last couple of weeks has already picked up new skills. We have to keep in mind that there are so many things in this world that he hasn't encountered because, when a child lives in an orphanage, they just don't get to experience as many things, especially western culture. So, food, toys, clothing, and many other things are all new to Asher. It takes time to teach him what he needs to know and to give him the understanding that he is part of a family now.

On our way to the Civil Affairs Office to meet Asher

Our family, finally together

Red couch picture day. The boys are dressed in traditional Chinese clothing to celebrate their heritage.

After finally processing everything, we received Asher's visa and took a train to Hong Kong to stay for a couple more days before coming home. We actually ended up staying at the Disneyland hotel. Even though I'm not a huge Disney fan, we really enjoyed our time there and received some much needed rest before braving our crazy flight home.

So here we are, home at last. It's not easy to post 18 days of havoc into one blog entry. It was a worthwhile trip and we returned home with a treasure. We feel so lucky to have our two boys!

Now, if I could just get over this jet lag......

Away We Go

2010-02-23T07:24:00.003-06:00

Thirteen months have culminated into this: we are leaving for China tomorrow. Russ and I have been wandering around our house the last couple of hours, trying to get ready for the day but also aware of that whole surreal feeling that comes with taking a trip like this. We are leaving this evening and staying near the airport (an hour from here) because we have an early flight tomorrow.

I'm looking forward to this, but I am also nervous. I know we have done this trip before, but we also haven't. The first time around, we had never been parents and we didn't know what we were getting into. We didn't know who Caleb would be in personality or mannerisms, and that is just stuff that you learn about over time. We literally came home with a little boy to raise who was a stranger. Now that same boy is 3 1/2 and going back with us. He's actually the one we know this time around. Asher will be the little stranger that we will learn about and get to know. The trip to China is important, but the bonding takes time while living and growing together for months and years to come. This trip is just where the permanent family begins.

So, away we go. We'll be back as a family of four. I'm going to blog in China, provided there are no computer glitches (it was an issue last time).

Until then, thanks to all who are reading for the support and prayers!

Happy New Year!

2010-02-13T19:01:00.003-06:00

Happy Chinese New Year, that is. We are now entering the Year of the Tiger, one of the twelve animals associated with the Lunar calendar. We have celebrated this year by cooking Chinese food. My (future) sister-in-law gave me a great cookbook for Christmas that highlights several countries, with China included. There are some fabulous recipes in there for delicious Chinese food.

We celebrated one evening by inviting some good friends over to eat beef and broccoli in oyster sauce and Sichuan green beans. Tonight, I tried a version of chicken lo mein. Both meals turned out really well. As previously mentioned in other posts, we are foodies around here. I love to cook, and I love trying new recipes, but Chinese food is especially fun. When I was growing up, my mom would make chicken chow mein: you know the La Choy stuff from the can with the crunchy noodles? Yeah. My initial interpretation of Chinese food was that is was simply gross. I never wanted to eat it and I didn't until I was an adult. Little did I know that as a child, while I was snubbing Chinese food, I would come to love it and have more dim sum than I could want when I was in China for an adoption!

Speaking of China, we are leaving in 11 days. We are flying to Beijing first and spending an extra day touring. We will be there for three days. We then fly to Guangzhou and spend about two weeks there. Guangzhou is the capital of the province where Asher lives. We are flying into Guangzhou on February 28 and we are supposed to meet Asher on March 1. For anyone who has read this blog for a while or remembers when we met Caleb, we were surprised to have him meeting us at the hotel a day sooner than expected. So, it is unknown when we really will meet Asher. Following our two weeks in Guangzhou, we will take a train to Hong Kong and stay there for two more days before flying home. It's long. 18 days actually.

We have been celebrating Valentine's Day around here, too. Russ and I had a date last night and were able to go out for Indian food and see a movie: Valentine's Day, the movie. It was actually pretty good, despite some questionable reviews. I think I saw a movie in the theater twice in 2009, so I was happy that since we were actually going, it was a movie to enjoy and not something to suffer through.

The next 11 days are pretty full around here. It's not just getting ready to go, it seems that everything is busy right now. Today I helped my dad at my parents' farm with vaccinating cows. Yes, I am still putting my nursing skills to good use. 20 cows received intramuscular injections with a very large bore needle that I wouldn't wish on any human. The next several days are also full of preschool, speech therapy sessions, a one-day conference, a birthday party, MOPS, and multiple other things that end up being thrown in there. We'll see how it all goes.

As I am now rambling, it seems that it's time for me to just sign off and get started.

Travel Approved

2010-01-23T13:09:00.003-06:00

This week has been interesting. I'm not so sure that I would have asked for things to have gone the way they did, but here we are. I love a good surprise, and that's what we received.

This week we have been anticipating the arrival of our approval to travel to China. Once received, we can book our plane tickets and get ready to go. With Caleb's adoption, we received our travel approval (TA) and left for China 10 days later. This time around, it's been different.

If anything, I find that I am constantly adjusting to new levels of disappointment when it comes to traveling. Last summer, we thought we would be going in November-Decemberish. By November, we assumed we would travel in January. By January, well, you get the idea.

We have missed the deadline to travel before the Chinese New Year: one of China's biggest holidays. Government offices close, flights are booked solid, and there is no vacancy at most hotels. Consequently, our agency does not send families during this time, because we wouldn't get very far. The delay is approximately a month.

Anyway, we had been waiting for our travel approval. Rumors were flying around that our agency was getting some approvals from China and we hoped ours would be in the mix. We waited. I wasn't checking my email obsessively at all. :)

We eventually learned that several families from our agency received theirs. Great! Except we didn't receive ours. Not great. It was unknown when it would come.

At this point, I started to give up dealing with my disappointment in any kind of a nice matter. I think I'm a relatively laid back person, but everyone reaches their point when that ends. I had reached mine. I found myself awake at 2 am that night, unable to sleep. I was terribly distracted about all of it, not to mention disappointed. I'm so unbelievably grateful for our son and the opportunity to adopt another, but this was hard.

The next day, with renewed attitudes, Russ and I faced the day determined to go on. Our travel approval would come, too. We may not go in February, but maybe March or April? We would keep waiting, because that's all we could do.

That afternoon, Caleb was napping and the phone rang: our agency. Didn't we get our email? No. Did we know that our travel approval had come? No.....

Apparently, we did receive it, but didn't get the email. It's here! We can go!

We are leaving in a month to go to China to pick up our Asher! I know, a month still is a long time, but I can now know when I'm leaving. I can plan! We know what we are doing now. The horrible wait has been replaced with excited anticipation.

I've got some good friends. I also think that God is pretty great, although I know with recent events such as Haiti, many people may wonder otherwise. We had a lot of people praying for us through this process, for which I am so thankful. And even if we didn't receive our travel approval this week, even if we were still overlooked, I still call God good. He's got it together. He must know how much I love a good surprise, too, because that's what I got. When we thought we were passed by, we were wrong: our turn is here.

Here There Be Boys

2010-01-07T20:45:00.009-06:00

We have sons. I love this. I may say differently in about 10-12 years when they are teenagers, but for now, I'm liking it.

This week has been interesting. Actually, I could say that for the entire month. As it probably is in other parts of the country, we have had tons of snow. It just seems to continue to fall. Every time I think we could not have room for more, there it is. I do like snow, but we are starting to run out of places to put it. Christmas was a blizzard. We cancelled attending Christmas Eve services with Russ' family because they live 100 miles away. The next day, we did make it to my parents house (only 20 miles away) and ended up being snowed in overnight. Wind, cold temperatures, blowing snow, yes, this is a Nebraska winter as we haven't seen since my childhood.

This week, despite the weather, we welcomed my new nephew into the world. My sister, Marna had a little boy on Tuesday, January 5. His name is Axton Grey, and he was 7# 6 oz, despite the fears of the physicians that he would be closer to 9 1/2 lbs. If you've met my sister, you know she doesn't really have room for 9 1/2 lbs of baby. She is quite petite. I was honored to be in the delivery room as her labor coach and she did great! Little Axton is such a good baby already, one more sweet little boy in our family.

In other news of boys, Russ and I have received updates about Asher! We had sent him a Christmas package and apparently the company that translated everything and got it all there was able to get some updated information and photos of him! We have seven new photos! He looks very happy. He is almost 21 lbs--bigger than Caleb was at that age, he is just under 29 inches tall, and he has 5 teeth. What a sweetie! I just want to get him and give him a big squeeze!

our latest photo of Asher in China -- January 2010

Christmas Joy

2009-12-14T21:46:00.009-06:00

It has been a busy couple of weeks around here. I'm so happy to be staying home now, and my time has been pretty much taken over with winter and Christmas stuff.

We've had a lot of snow and cold temperatures. Last week, school was cancelled for 3 days and since Caleb's preschool is part of the public school system, he was home, too. Day one was fun--we baked bread and watched a Christmas movie. Day two--starting to get a little antsy by the end of the day. I gratefully headed to the grocery store after supper as a reason to leave the house. Day three--cabin fever. It wasn't the being home part, it was the fact that we couldn't leave even if we wanted to.

We did have a lot of fun in the snow, beyond shoveling the driveway and having to push our car out of a snowbank. We attempted to take Caleb sledding, but I think he was a little scared and not too sure how he felt about the whole thing. Snow angels and scooping with his "shovel" (a leftover from the sandbox) were alot more interesting. It's been fun..I love winter and having a white Christmas.

Before the snow we managed to catch the Star City parade downtown. I think its the first time I've been there in about 25 years, until my mom reminded me that I marched in it in the high school band. Maybe I just blocked out that memory, I don't know. We got our Christmas tree, too, and found this great little place where you cut your own and they have hot cider and chocolate while you wait for them wrap it. I guess I really do get into all of this holiday stuff.

On the Asher front, there isn't much new to say. Our visas are currently being processed at the consulate in Chicago and we should have them before Christmas. At this point, we are waiting for that blessed email that tells us of our approval to travel and when we need to be in Beijing. We have been hoping it will come soon and maybe we can travel in January. The problem (isn't there usually some kind of problem?) is that Chinese New Year falls in mid-February, closing travel for the better part of a month. So, when people ask when we are going, I say either the end of January or early March. And I won't know until approximately the day before we leave, so when I find out I'll let you know. Note: sarcasm.

I actually feel so blessed this holiday season for our two boys. One here who is so much fun: he gives us plenty of joy, he's bright and funny and just simply a great kid. And our other one: our precious guy spending Christmas in China this year. But next year....we'll all be together. I'm thankful for that.

The Next Chapter

2009-12-02T12:43:00.002-06:00

This morning, I came home from work at my job in the NICU for the last time. I have been thinking for a while about the future of our family and where my purpose is managing work and stuff at home. I decided that it was time to leave my job at the hospital and stay home with my growing family to be a full time mom. I did shed a few tears on my drive home from work this morning. While I seem to have been somewhat professionally confused in recent years, working in different areas and trying to find a good fit, the NICU has been a stable presence for the last seven years. I had moments of feeling so challenged at that job, doing things I never imagined. When I graduated from nursing school, I wanted to be a flight nurse but I never thought it would happen. I didn't ever plan or even wish to work with babies when I first started out and yet I had a successful career of doing just that for 10 years. I even spent some of that time as a flight nurse for the babies...long after I thought that dream had died. It's all been very cool, and I leave with great memories:

--being new to the job and feeling like a total dope who didn't know a thing about what I was doing

--our brand new unit and the first days of caring for babies in private rooms

--when I got married and my friends from work gave me a wedding shower and came to our wedding

--going out for transports in the ambulance and flights, and attending all those C-sections

--making pancakes in the employee lounge in the early morning

--many, many kids who spent time there---some home with families and some to heaven--some of the most memorable: Payton, Theresa, Alla, Gavin, Brock, Tanner

--spending my first Christmas there, alone in the back room with baby Maria (anyone from work reading this will understand how that was not an ideal Christmas!)

--watching Napoleon Dynamite in the middle of the night

--working all those nights with a fun crew of people who made it easier to be there

--all of the awful, mean, embarrassing, exhausting, but also challenging, fulfilling, rewarding, proud, wonderful moments

Ok, so a few tears are back again. It's ok, it was a significant place and I had to give it a little tribute.

So now, it's on to the next chapter--potentially even more scary--being a full time mother to two Chinese boys, one here, and one on the way. Yikes! But, of course I mean that in a good way....

Amazing!

2009-11-03T17:29:00.005-06:00

Ok, didn't I just write here yesterday, saying we were waiting for our Letter of Approval (LOA) and asking people to pray???!!! How does this all happen? I don't know, but if you did pray, thank you!

Today, our agency called and told me they received the LOA! They are Fedexing it to us and we should have it tomorrow. We sign it and make copies and then send it back so they can return it to China. Then, we file a few more things and we can apply for our visas. Hopefully, we may see travel after the holidays. Hooray! We're getting there--one big step closer today!

2009-11-02T18:39:00.007-06:00

We had a great Halloween this year. Caleb couldn't decide what he wanted to be, and then finally settled on being a doctor. He's been really into ambulances and emergency vehicles lately. Hmm...

In keeping with tradition (well, for the 2nd year in a row, anyway), Russ and I also dressed up as part of the theme. So, Caleb was our doctor, Russ was a patient, and I was a nurse. I dug out my old nursing dress that I wore at graduation 10 years ago--still fits!!

We went to the Shriner's Halloween party on Friday night: great for food and games and a little haunted walk-through area that was just spooky enough for Caleb without going overboard. Then, Saturday night, we went trick-or-treating with my sister and my niece, Maesa. My sister lives in a small town nearby our city, in one of the newly developed areas of town. Believe me when I say that it was the place for trick-or-treating. I have never had so many kids come to our house for Halloween as what went on in this neighborhood. We showed up and there was candy on hand, then my mom and I made a run to the store for 4 more bags, and then we finally had to shut the door and turn off the light because we ran out of everything. I guess I know where we are going next year!

Tomorrow is Russ' birthday. He has mentioned that he pretty much just wants news of Asher as a gift--and I can't give it to him. Without going into a long and confusing explanation of the situation, we sent our papers to China in August and are currently waiting to hear back (our LOA for those reading this who are familiar with it all). It is taking longer this time than it did with Caleb, and lately we have been hearing rumors that it is going long for many families--for various reasons out of our control. I'm having a bit harder time of it this time around. I think with Caleb, I had never been a parent before, so I worried a little, but I just didn't know much of anything anyway. Now that I am a parent, I'm aware of all these things that could happen. H1N1, lead poisoning, bad weather, earthquakes, and any number of things. Call me crazy, I know it will be fine. But for anyone out there who prays.....we could use some right now. Thanks!

Octoberfest

2009-10-24T10:17:00.009-05:00

Despite our early snow for the season, followed by way too much rain, we otherwise have been having a beautiful fall season. This is absolutely my favorite time of year. It's why we got married in October and why we went to Banff in Canada for our honeymoon instead of Jamaica (Ok, so Russ had a lot of say in those things, too).

Last night, we went to my parents to celebrate my sister's birthday. The theme was Octoberfest. Our family Irish Stew consists of Russ' Irish background, Caleb and Asher's Chinese background, then me, who is German-and-a-couple-other-things background. So, last night we celebrated a birthday with bratwurst, German potato salad, spaetzle, and sauerkraut. Yum! I guess when it comes down to it, my family really is just a bunch of foodies. My sister is a fabulous cook, and she and my mom prepared much of the food.

I wish I could take credit for this apple dessert.

Russ and I had brewed some homemade beer for the occasion.

Caleb has been working very hard on his speech at school, and we are definitely seeing progress. We have made a book at home of pictures of things he likes so he can practice the words. Then, when we work on a new word, we add the picture to the book. This week, we added pictures of 'waffles' and 'water', since we have been practicing saying W's. It's slowly coming along, almost like learning to say every word as if it is brand new. Many of the pictures we started with were of family. For a long time, Caleb has talked mostly with vowels, so we have needed to work on the consonants. For instance, my brother Matt would be called "aa", and my neice Maesa was referred to as "ay-ah". My family is one of those whose names all start with the same letter: M. So, we have had great practice with our M's. Anyway, my birthday sister's name is Martha, but for years, we have called her by her nickname, Marf (don't even ask how this started, I have no idea). Caleb would always call her "ar". Since practicing his letters, though, the other day we were looking at pictures and he was sounding something out: Mmm-aarr-fff. Marf! We were so happy to hear a full and complete word, very clearly. So now, it's Marf-this and Marf-that all day, since he loves to say the name. And, I'm pretty sure he loves her quite a bit, too.

2009-10-09T09:23:00.006-05:00

It's officially been fall for only about 18 days and it's supposed to snow here tomorrow. So much for that lovely autumn weather, I guess. I've been trying to do some of these seasonal things but apparently we are running out of time. Even the stores have almost moved beyond Halloween to Christmas. I just can't keep up. But I really do love this time of year. Caleb and I made caramel apples yesterday and we're getting ready for Halloween costumes. He has told us that he wants to be a puppy this year, but I don't know if that is a definite thing. Being 3 years old means that you change your mind every 5 minutes (or less) so we'll actually commit to something for a costume in a couple more weeks.

I received a couple of emails from people who had information for me about the Shantou orphanage where Asher is currently living. I guess the group Love Without Boundaries has done a lot of work there, as well as other orphanages in China. They have a nutrition program that our son is most likely a part of, and I'm told that we could maybe get some pictures of him, but not until after we have adopted him. Still, it would be nice to have pictures of this time when we are not able to see him.

Today is also Russ' and my 5th wedding anniversary. Wow, that has gone fast. I was thinking that 5 years ago today I was up very early and running errands before getting ready. I remember thinking that it was so weird that it was my wedding day--a day that I had pictured and dreamed of since I was a little girl, and I wanted it to be very special. I thought about all of this as I was sitting at the kitchen table this morning, seeing toys strewn all over the floor, dishes in the sink, and my reading material was an ad for a sale at Ace Hardware. Hmm. Things really do change in 5 years. Of course, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I managed to dig up this picture that my sister sent me, a photo taken in our little dressing area of the church on our wedding day. I was waiting around in my huge, fluffy dress for the big moment when I was going to see my Groom:

That's a keeper, isn't it?

Tonight, Caleb is staying at Grandma's and Russ and I are going out to celebrate our years that we have built together. Here's to many more!

Birthday Wishes

2009-09-21T19:54:00.007-05:00

Our little boy in China, Asher, turns one today. I've been a little sad about this for the past week. I remember celebrating Caleb Wu's first birthday and we felt so excited. But today, it's different. Our papers have been sitting in China for over a month and we still have a long way to go. I hope that someone gave him a hug today.
We chose the name "Asher" because part of his Chinese name, Ji, means happy. When we found out that we were getting another little boy, I was beyond happy. I love boys. They make up the majority of my family, between my husband, son, and dog. I'm the only female around here. But it's kind of nice. I get to be the yin for everyone else's yang. I get to have my own stuff that I don't have to share with anyone else.
So, we were extremely happy to find out that we would have another boy in our family. We wanted to use a name that meant "happy" or "blessed" and that is the meaning of Asher. His middle name is Shan (pronounced "Shawn"), based on the city of his birth, Shantou, in Guangdong province. For anyone who remembers when Caleb was still just "Wu", he was so named by the Chinese because the hometown of his birth was Wuwei City. So, we decided to keep the Wu part, to remember.
So, Asher Shan, happy birthday.
I wish that you will have happiness today. I wish that you will be growing and healthy and strong. I wish that you will be safe and content. I wish that you will slowly be turning into the little guy who will be prepared to join our family. And, these aren't just my wishes, they are my prayers.
We'll see you soon.

Happy Birthday!

2009-08-31T18:20:00.005-05:00

Three years ago today, a woman in China was headed off to work in the morning. She took the road that leads up to the back of the orphanage where she worked. There along the road, placed so he would be seen, was a small Bundle of Joy who was 1 day old. He was wrapped in a red cotton jacket and swaddled in a quilt. The woman picked him up and took him with her to her job at the orphanage, where she knew he would be well cared for.

The woman's name is Zhao Shu Ping, and the little package she found was our little Caleb at one day old, waiting there to be found.

Caleb turned three yesterday. He is currently playing with a new toy rescue station that he got as a gift, and he and his dad are putting it together. He's been going to preschool for the last week and it's been going very well (although just today I learned that he had to sit in the Safe Chair because he was hitting other students....). I'm still amazed all the time at what a great kid he is. We couldn't have known what we were in for....yet he is so happy and thriving now.

I'm so thankful for that Hand that stayed with him while he sat there on that road 3 years ago. A vulnerable newborn that could have been found by anyone, but he went to the right place.

It may have been his birthday yesterday, but Russ and I are the ones who got the best gift.

We are DTC

2009-08-15T13:26:00.003-05:00

There has been an amazing turn of events in the last few days regarding our paperwork. Let me pose a question here: does anyone believe that acting faithfully toward something ends up producing positive results? For instance, I was debating my post about our new son, Li. Specifically, I was wondering whether I should post at all or wait longer, say, closer to the time that our paperwork got to China. At least I could say that we were that much closer to this little boy. But, I didn't wait. Even as I wrote it, our paperwork sat in Washington DC (or so I believed), but I assumed it would move. I told our news anyway, hoping that said paperwork would be moving soon. I published the post, went to a birthday party, and didn't think about it for several hours. At 10pm, I decided to check Fedex (not obsessively at all) to see if it was all still sitting at the Chinese embassy in Washington DC. Before my eyes....I saw, no it was not! It was being sent back to Oregon where our agency is located. The next day, Oregon notified us that our paperwork would be on it's way to China on Friday, August 14th. Yesterday. We are DTC.

DTC stands for "Dossier to China", the "dossier" being another fancy word for paperwork. Stuff we have gathered for 6 months. Stuff that was signed, notarized, copied, certified, authenticated, etc, etc, etc. Replaceable, yes, but not without another significant amount of work. Not without making our new son wait even further while we fixed things. So, thankfully, thankfully, we can say we are DTC! Now what? Oh yeah, we continue to wait. More news will be added when it comes, I guess.

On another note, I found myself in a situation a couple of days ago where I had to stop and consider my own behavior. I don't mind doing this, except sometimes it makes me feel bad because I realize that I was probably not acting the best. Anyway, Caleb and I went to the bank to deposit some money and it was a different branch than I had been to before, as we were on the other side of town. While the woman behind the counter was processing the transaction, she said to me, "do you mind if I ask you something? Is he yours?" (Referring to Caleb). For anyone who has read past posts-- I have mentioned situations about people putting their feet in their mouths, or maybe just being plain rude about this. There have been multiple interactions that I have never mentioned at all. So, politely or not, when someone asks me such a question, it gets my hackles raised. I can't help it. So, I answered "uh, yeah," in a semi-snotty/not that friendly of a way. Already defensive. And she answered, "oh! I was just wondering because I have 4 adopted children from Korea!" And then she proceeded to ask me about our agency, gave me information about a local group specifically for adopted kids and their families, etc, etc, while I halfway hung my head in shame. The truth is, sometimes, I am simply a big, fat jerk. Sometimes, people just ask because they care or they have something in common. Sometimes, people are just being NICE. Quite a concept, I know.

So, from now on, I'm going to be trying a little harder to give the benefit of the doubt. Get over my extra sensitivity to a subject that isn't always a big deal. Remember that many people are very nice. (But still keep my handy comebacks, just in case).

And, speaking of nice, we are so appreciative of all the kind words and good wishes received from everyone about this process and our boys. Thank you! It means a lot to us that so many people care and are there to show their support in this. And I will be happy to respond in a very positive way back by showing pictures and continuing to write about it all. All in a very nice way.

But, of course, you already knew that.

It's A...

2009-08-11T18:32:00.015-05:00

At what stage of gestation does a person announce a pregnancy?

I think it varies depending on whose opinion you are seeking. I have known people who have told me they were expecting almost immediately after finding out themselves. Others wait a while before saying anything. I even once worked with someone who hid her pregnancy so well that when she finally told me, she said something like, "by the way, I'm pregnant and my due date is this Sunday."

So, there are all kinds. I'm sure that people tell or do not tell based on their experience and maybe some fears. A new child joining a family must be announced in its own way. I do not share in the pregnancy issue. But, I have wondered when it is "safe" to announce our new child and who they are. When we were matched with Caleb, we basically hung up the phone from talking to our agency, spent a few minutes jumping up and down, and then picked up the phone again and started calling people to tell them about our son (see post from July 27, 2007). We were so ecstatic that we could not wait to start telling people. We finally had a person to tell about! Fast forward eight months to March 11, 2008. The day we actually left for China to get Caleb. The process is so long. Different from a pregnancy at least in the fact that most people can assume it will be about 9 months. Adoption varies. Referral times vary. Travel approval, paperwork, everything can take it's own sweet time regardless of if there is a child waiting on the other side or not. Waiting definitely isn't my strong suit. I really struggled last time because, many times I doubted the process and how long it was all taking. Additionally, it was difficult to also have to defend that same process for those who didn't understand and wanted to complain about it. But I can't overlook those who celebrated with us in our wait and helped us along every step of the way.

So, here it is. I face the same struggle. I have good news. I am announcing it today, but I still don't know how long it will be until we see China again. Our paperwork is still in Washington DC, for Pete's sake. But, we have news all the same that I'm ready to announce and face the wait again.

It's a boy!

We've been matched with a little boy who is waiting for us in China as we speak! His Chinese name is Li Ji De and he is almost 11 months old. He has a cleft lip and palate that have been repaired. We had told our agency that we would interested in adopting another child with the same condition as Caleb, since we have the experience already. We had also said we would be open to either a boy or a girl, and this is our boy! He is currently living in an orphanage in Shantou City in Guangdong, China. We are so excited to meet him and ready for him to join our family!

Meet Caleb's little brother...

6 months (March 2009)

9 months (June 2009)

I'm coming to the USA !

2009-07-26T22:18:00.003-05:00

Ok, so I haven't been the greatest at keeping up with this blog lately. And I won't make excuses for being so busy because I know that everyone has that same excuse. That being said, I am finally trying to update and post a few things about what's been happening around here this summer.

Caleb has 2 more weeks at his current daycare before being home for a couple weeks with Mom, before starting preschool at the end of August. He will be going half days to preschool, allowing me to sleep after coming home from work in the morning. At least, that's our theory. We'll see how it all goes. I'm sad to see him leave his current daycare, in some ways, because our provider, Tina, has been absolutely wonderful. For the past year, he has gone to her house on many days and happily played with the other kids who attend. He has learned so many social skills, language, numbers, letters, and songs, among many other things. And during our first year as brand new parents to our "instant toddler" family, Tina has given us a lot of help along the way with stuff that we simply just haven't known how to do. So, we're thankful for her help this past year.

Now, being the seasoned parents that we are (that's a joke, folks), we are moving on and our little guy is growing. Soon to be a big brother, and he's excited about it so far. We'll see what really happens when the new baby actually appears. I think Caleb is more excited about flying in an airplane at this point--more than having a new baby in the house. Every time we see a plane, he gets very excited and says, "mine!", as in, "that's going to be me up there someday!"

A couple of weeks ago, we attended a picnic that was hosted by our agency, Holt International. It was a great time to meet some other adoptive parents in our area and it was for anyone in any stage of adoption: just starting out all the way to families who had adult children that had been adopted through Holt. We saw our social worker again and a local Korean church cooked all the food as a Korean BBQ. We really enjoyed ourselves and continue to be excited for our future plans for China.

On a final note, the other thing that has been keeping me busy this summer has been cakes. What I once started out doing as a teenager in a local bakery turned to decorating that I did for several years before quitting to become a nurse. Recently, I have been doing a few more cakes again on the side for weddings and birthdays, and it's been a lot of fun. So, I have decided to start doing this more often and get a small business going. Check out my new blog MegBakesCakes for some pictures and updates.

That's all for now! I hoping to post again soon when I actually have news about some movement of paperwork in the general direction of China. Could it be? It's currently stuck in Washington DC, but we'll keep praying.

2009-06-17T08:44:00.007-05:00

I see the first official day of summer coming quickly and the hot weather is now here as well. It's supposed to be 92 today. Yuck. Time to settle in for some air conditioning.
Since life is in fast forward these days, I can see how almost a month can go by without having time to post anything. There's been a lot to do. We've had family visiting, a wedding, barbeques, graduations, and birthday parties. At least, that's been our weekend activities when I haven't been working, and some of it when I have been, too.
We have decided that our Caleb Wu is going to be starting preschool this fall. The main reason is that he will receive a lot more speech therapy than he is getting now. We took him to Boystown for another follow up appointment--we usually go about every 6 months--and they checked his hearing and we talked with the pediatrician there and the speech therapist. Both were a little concerned about his lack of language. Obviously, being 2-3 years old, he's not going to be a linguist right now. I've had many people say things to try and explain it away, trying to be nice, and say things like, "he's probably still speaking Chinese!" Ok, no. Actually, Caleb has been in the US almost as long as he lived in China. And, he was never babbling "in Chinese" at all. I know that he heard a different language for the first 18 months, but he completely understands English. He just can't say the words. I thought it was maybe related to the cleft, but the craniofacial team didn't seem to think so. Without a lot of extensive testing, it's hard to diagnose exactly what is going on. So, we'll just bump up the speech therapy for a while and go from there.
The process for Baby 2 is coming along also. A month ago, we mailed our immigration paperwork, and two weeks later received a letter confirming that it had been received. The letter basically said something like: thanks for applying, your application has been received. It hasn't been approved and it hasn't been denied. We're just telling you that we got it (so, I'm paraphrasing a little here). Please wait some more and, if we do approve it, we'll let you know when you can go to be fingerprinted. The next day, we received another letter from immigration: your application has been accepted. That's quite a turn around! Our fingerprint appointment at the Department of Homeland Security is a week from today.
Someone recently complained to me that "they make it so difficult for anyone to adopt! Why do you have to do all that stuff again!?" I find myself having to defend the process. We get fingerprinted again in case we decided to commit a felony since the last time we did it. We know we haven't, but the US government does not. Also, I know the whole thing sounds drawn out and frustrating, but obviously, it's worth it. We get to see this smiling face daily:

So, I will keep defending the process, although I wish I didn't have to. And we'll keep going, because it's not too bad, and some day it will be done.
Finally, my niece, Maesa turns 4 today. We went to my sister's new house last night for her birthday party. They had a great turnout and my other sister made all the very tasty food. I got to make her cake and I had fun putting it together:

Maesa was very excited and, since it wasn't her birthday yet, still telling people she was 3. ("I'm not 4 until tomorrow!") I will reminisce here for a minute and say that I remember very well the night she was born. My sister was in labor at our hospital and she had a small complication that required a NICU nurse to be present at the delivery. I was still working on the transport team then, and, it was my sister, so I went to stand by at the delivery. It seemed that there were a thousand staff people in the room, between the doctor, labor nurses, nursery nurses, and NICU nurses. A little overkill in my opinion. But she was great, and a cutie from the first moment:

And still a cutie today. Happy Birthday kiddo!

2009-05-18T20:08:00.006-05:00

We've had a couple of full weeks around here lately, I guess it's that time of year. In the next 3 weeks alone, we have 3 graduations, a wedding, and a milestone birthday to celebrate. Some day, I will look back and wonder where all of these days have gone.

This past Saturday, we attended the wedding of a co-worker (mine); traveling west to be there. I also did the wedding cake, which was a lot of fun and maybe a little stress, but that's part of the job. Driving with several sheet cakes and a large table cake in the back of your car for several hours made me a little nervous, but we made it all intact. It turned out well and everyone seemed to have a great time.

We also recently visited a new school for Caleb. He has been in speech therapy for almost a year now and has been making a lot of progress. But the past couple of months, I have been a little concerned that maybe he doesn't have as many consonants as he did. It almost seems like he has regressed a little: words he tried to say months ago, I cannot get him to even acknowledge anymore. I voiced these concerns to his speech therapist who agreed with me and said she was glad I noticed because she has been a little concerned, too. Now, taking into account that my son came to the US at 18 months of age and didn't speak a word of English anyway, plus having a mouth full of scar tissue from a repaired cleft palate--it's enough to set anyone back some. But we also can't sit back and say, oh well, that's just how he is. So, we visited a preschool that he could possibly attend next fall. It's through the public school system and he can receive speech therapy several times a week instead of twice a month as he is currently getting. The program is for kids age 3-5, so we went to see a classroom. My first thought when we walked in the door was, "oh my gosh, all these kids are so big!" Caleb did not seem big enough or old enough to be anywhere near that classroom. But the teacher explained that half the class is 5 and attending kindergarten next year, and Caleb won't be starting (at the earliest) for a few months anyway. He just seemed so small. I know, I know, I'm just being some kind of overprotective parent. I don't care.

But I am interested in this program and we sat through some of their activities and classes. Russ is going to go and visit next week to see what he thinks. We don't even have to make a decision right away, but we are thinking ahead depending on how things go with the speech.

On a further note, we also recently filed immigration paperwork for baby 2. I'm not sure how to refer to this child. We do not have a match yet, so there is no name or identity to think of yet. I guess I'll have to be vague for a while. Anyway, before traveling for an international adoption, for many countries (including China), you must file immigration paperwork. It's a pre-approval of sorts. This way, when we return to the US, our new baby will automatically be a citizen when we arrive. To file this for this status requires filling out a 10 page application and sending a copy of our homestudy. This was recently delayed because our final copy had a typo that needed to be corrected and it took several more days to finish and remail. As I've said a million times before, such is life in the adoption world. We're hoping to hear that it's been approved and receive an appointment to be fingerprinted at the Dept of Homeland Security. Of course, there is always a chance that it will not be approved--well, just need to be changed--so we will have to make the changes to the application and/or homestudy and then send it back again. And it keeps going from there.....

On a final note, in the midst of all of our traveling, Owen lived with my parents for a while. He loves being at the farm and they, too, seem to enjoy his presence (at least more than I do at times). So, he got to stay at his favorite place for several days and to repay my generous parents for that: he ate my dad's hearing aids. Anyone who criticizes a beagle owner for having a fat dog doesn't understand that beagles will eat anything. This proves my point. Apparently, my dad thought it was safe to leave them out of his ears and on a coffee table. Obviously not. He left the room briefly and returned to find Owen sitting on the floor, chewing them up. How's that for gratitude?

Ok, I'm off to call the insurance company.......

Seating for 7

2009-05-08T14:49:00.004-05:00

I recently had a conversation with someone about how I have a list of blogs that I follow, and, while I check them periodically, no one seems to want to update them as much anymore. I'm blaming this on Facebook. I actually do like Facebook: it has allowed me to learn about new babies, engagements, new jobs, gives birthday reminders, and just keeps me up with what is going on with most of my friends. I even recently was able to connect with a dear friend from high school, whom I haven't seen in several years, through Facebook. It was wonderful to catch up. So, Facebook is not my enemy. I just think it has replaced a lot of blogging that normally goes on, and I kind of miss it all. I was explaining this to someone, and they responded, "you're right, Meg. I check your blog all the time and you don't seem to update yours much either." Ok. Point taken.
As I write this, in a couple of hours, I will be leaving for the west to attend a graduation for a friend of mine. We're going to be carpooling with another couple and their daughter. We recently bought an SUV. We traded in my pickup that only had a small jump-seat and is not conducive to carrying toddler(s) around. So, we upgraded. Our new (to us) vehicle is touted as being able to seat 7 comfortably. Seven? Do I need to fit that many? When we were buying it, I was sweating. I thought, seven. That's a lot of children. Visions of the future were running through my brain of it being full of nothing but children. The screaming, arguing, DVD's playing, etc. I almost turned back. I mean, we're only working on our 2nd child here. But, we went for it, and now that we are transporting adults in it this weekend, I can definitely see the advantages of it. So, it was a good idea. And, I like to drive it.
Our 2nd adoption continues and we have finished our home study. I really like our social worker. I mean, she's very efficient anyway, but I also just like her as a person. We are currently trying to file an application for citizenship for our new child, so that when we go to China to bring them back, they will become a US citizen when we arrive. It has to be done before paperwork can be sent overseas, and is also almost always done even before you can be matched with a child. So, as always, there are snags. Communication problems, mail delivery issues, etc. I forgot how frustrating it can be. I imagine it is like what people say when they deliver a baby: you forget about the pain after the child has arrived. I've (sort of) forgotten how difficult it is to adopt because we have Caleb now and I haven't thought of it anymore. Until we are faced with these delays for our new one. I'm trying to be upbeat about it and do other things that are fun (or at least distracting). For instance, recently Phil Keoghan of the Amazing Race was in town, as he was riding his bike across America to raise money for MS. We're big fans of the show, so my sister and I found out where he would be and went to see him. No, we did not stalk his hotel room. He was signing books at a store nearby, so we met him and got his autograph, and he was a very nice guy. Not that I encounter celebrities all that much anyway, so what do I know? He took a picture with us, and we did not make him re-enact a scene of running up to the mat at the Pit Stop (if you watch the show, you know what I mean), but a woman and her husband who were in front of us did just that. He graciously went along with it and said his part so they could get the whole thing on film. Hmm. And I thought we were the big fans.
I'm off to go pack and get ready for the weekend. This post has been sort of a ramble because so much goes on in between the times that I actually do post on here. Then it becomes sort of disorganized, so please forgive my blathering on about the mundane. Wait. That's all of life. This is the same as Facebook; it just takes longer to read.

Newness

2009-04-07T23:37:00.010-05:00

Spring can not come soon enough. That is all I have to say.
Ok, maybe a little more. We were lucky this week when the "blizzard" that was supposed to arrive ended up being simply cold weather and a bit of snow with hardly any accumulation. The flowers that have started to come up in our front yard have not known what to think. Our grass even needs to be mowed already. Now we just need some consistently warmer temperatures to go with it.
I love spring. It doesn't get enough credit from me, I think. I mostly really like fall because of the changing leaves, crisp air, etc, and that it is a prelude to the holidays. Spring is a prelude to summer, which I don't care for at all. But for those few weeks in late April through May, things can be quite nice.
This spring, we have much to be happy about and new things are going on all around. With Easter being only a few more days away, we decided to try and color eggs with Caleb and his cousin, Maesa.

This was actually not as much fun as I expected, probably because, when you are 2 years old, you are more interested in sticking your hands in the colored vinegar/mixture and eating the Rice Krispie bar shaped eggs that grandma made. The "fun" is really only what your mom and grandma think it should be. Such a time it was: we had the colors, eggs, stickers, the whole Paas kit laid out, but sometimes the fun comes when the kids are just a little older. Although, my niece, who is almost 4, did a great job with the coloring and the finished product turned out pretty great.

Caleb and I did enjoy one of our new Easter traditions, which is making Smeeps. We had the much simpler version where we heated the Peep in the microwave instead of delicately browning it over open flame as some would suggest, but it really did taste delicious. Since we are big fans of Peeps around here, this was a tasty new way to eat them. And the look on Caleb's face when I sandwiched it all together was pretty funny. Oh, and he enjoyed eating them as well.

There is one more thing that we are happy about that is new these days: our social worker will be coming for a visit for our homestudy next week. We will have two visits, and then we will be done! The part that I didn't say before all of this was that the reason we are doing a homestudy is because we are processing a 2nd adoption. After a year of being home from China, our family is "expecting" again. We hope to go back to China and go through the same program as we did for Caleb. Actually, we'll just have to see how that goes because in the adoption world, planning anything can actually be quite a downfall (see previous posts from about 18 months ago). Anyway, we are looking forward to a possible new brother or sister for our guy in the (relatively) near future. I'll keep posting as our process moves along.
Happy spring!

Gotcha! One year later

2009-03-17T20:45:00.007-05:00

One year ago, we were in China and we met our Caleb for the first time. The next day (a year ago today), we headed to the civil affairs office to adopt him in China. As I look back over pictures of that time, I'm amazed at how fast it all has gone. The changes in him have been so subtle, to me, because I see him every day. But looking back at those pictures, I think, "wow! where's his hair? He's so skinny!" etc., and I know that things are definitely not the same.
I remember the day we met: we actually started out in Beijing, trying to figure out how to repack everything for another flight. We went to the airport and flew to Lanzhou. I remember thinking that once we got there, we could just go to our hotel and settle in for one last night and meet Caleb the next day (as planned). When we landed, we were met by Xixi, our guide and we loaded our stuff on the bus for the hour drive to the hotel. The first thing Xixi said as we settled into our seats was that the babies were going to be at the hotel that day when we arrived! Yikes! For the next hour, our guides talked about such things as the landscape around the Lanzhou area, what the Chinese names of our children meant, etc., but I barely listened. I was too distracted by thinking that we were going to meet Caleb, and very soon. What would he be like? What if he looked so different that I didn't recognize him? I don't know how to be a parent! What do I do??!!
We got to the hotel and nearly destroyed our lovely room by trying to put gifts together. We met in a conference room. After a few minutes of waiting, a man walked in and said, "excuse me, but the babies are here." And, one by one, they each came in, carried by their nanny/foster mother. I remember when the first child came in. It wasn't Caleb, but for a second, I feared that it was and that maybe I just didn't recognize him. But then, he came into the room, and I knew right away. I remember saying to Russ, "that's him! Look at those eyes!" And they were those same big brown eyes from all of his pictures. Those same ones he has today. The same face--he was smaller in real life. But real.
Soon, he was running around the conference room. In an effort to not totally overwhelm him, I did not attempt to pick him up at first. In fact, the first time I remember holding him was when he made a dash out the door and I grabbed him. Not exactly the tender moment that I imagined the first time I picked him up was going to be.
When his foster mother left, he cried. I actually didn't find out until later that she was his foster mother, having been told that she was his "nanny". Had I known, I would have tried to allow for more of a good-bye for them if I could. He came with us, though. Maybe he felt like he had no where else to go at that point.
After that, we either carried him or he ran. It was one of 2 things only. By that evening, we realized just how small he was--he had been bundled so much and was a skinny little guy underneath. We took him for dinner to KFC and he fell asleep in our hotel room. Day one.
Fast forward 365 days. He's asleep now, only it's in his crib in his room with his blankets and stuffed animals. He's now 2 1/2 and still running. Working on potty training. Wearing some of the same clothes as a year ago. He knows some numbers and letters, and chatters on about everything. He has friends at daycare and is taking speech therapy. He loves macaroni and cheese and pickles. His favorite song is "wheels on the bus" and his favorite movie is "Cars". He loves trains, cars, tractors, buses, trucks, and semi-trailers. And we love him.
The perfect addition to our family. Introduced to us one year ago. Amazing! One year and we're here where I never imagined it would be. We love you Caleb.

Winter isn't over yet

2009-03-03T09:52:00.005-06:00

We received 4-5 more inches of snow last week and it's supposed to be 60 degrees on Thursday. Hmm. Welcome to Nebraska.

January

2009-01-20T18:55:00.006-06:00

What to say? It's January, and around these parts that means cold weather and post-holiday attitudes. Maybe not so much at our house. We were just watching a recap of the Presidential inauguration on CNN. What a proud day for our country! We are still basking in the joy of our recent adoption, and Russ is happy in his new job and thankful to be working. These are some good times.

Last week, we had Owen farmed out (literally) to live with my parents for a while. He has been so out of control lately and I know he needs more exercise than he has been getting here. It's been a quiet week here with Zeus, who is the non-barker/obedient dog of the two. But because Owen has some sort of tenure in our household, he will never completely go away. Just for short periods of time now and again. My feelings for him did actually waver a little after seeing Marley and Me. It made me want to go home immediately and hug him, which I did. But the next day, things were back to normal, and the feelings were short-lived. My parents report he is happy with them, so I'm not in a huge hurry to bring him back--yet I do not want to take advantage of their generosity--any day, they could call up in an angry state demanding that he has to leave. Ok, I doubt that will happen, but you can't underestimate the power Owen has to annoy people.

I worked this weekend and actually had to float to pediatrics on Sunday night. I don't think I've been there for over a year. It was similar to the clinic stuff as far as the age of the kids I cared for, but in a much more acute setting. I had a great conversation with a co-worker (also a nurse floating from another unit) who I hadn't seen in a while. She was asking a lot of questions about China, the process of adoption, etc. and I was happy to give her the information. Hey, you never know when you may talk to someone who could be interested in going through it themselves. In the middle of our conversation, the nurse who normally worked on the unit approached us and entered the conversation. She was more than a little pregnant. When my other co-worker excitedly told her, "Meg went to China this year and adopted a little boy!", she responded with, "oh, that's so nice! But....don't you ever a child of your own?"

Sigh.

During our homestudy, we took classes to prepare for stupid comments such as these. In my head, I've always had some sort of a comeback, like, "nope! We thought we would just rent Caleb for a while." And yet, I never think of those things in the moment, when someone asks such a question (and it isn't the first time it's been asked). How to respond? My irritation aside, I actually felt sorry for this woman, who, by taking such an attitude, has missed out on one of the greatest joys I never imagined I would have. And that's what this blog is about anyway, right?

In short, this has been a small rant. But it's not to say that others don't deal with dumb people in other areas of life. Or that I never thought I would hear such comments. Oh well, this kid is mine.

Adopted!

2009-01-07T11:52:00.003-06:00

After spending nearly 10 months together (already!) we had a milestone within our family yesterday: we went to court and officially adopted Caleb. It's final! In our hearts and minds and, according to the Peoples Republic of China, he is already a member of our family. But the state of Nebraska requires a 6 month waiting period before a legal adoption takes place. We started preparing for this in September, but after processing paperwork and trying to get a court date around the holidays, we were able to do it yesterday. Our friend Karen graciously represented us as our attorney. We were sort of expecting something relatively laid back, but I was a little intimidated being in the courtroom before a judge on a bench, who was actually a little stern. I think it was more of an act, like he really had a sense of humor under it all (he even joked with my parents, who also attended), but I was too nervous the appreciate the humor. But we got through it and we are so happy to be finalized!
We had a great holiday season, very busy with all kinds of things. We held our annual New Year's Eve party here with several friends that we don't always get to see throughout the year, so it was nice to celebrate with them.
Our 2009 is getting off to a great start! Happy New Year!

Our little guy getting ready for his big day.

Caleb and Mommy before we leave for the courthouse. Many early pictures of Caleb have him simply staring into the camera, without a smile. Despite our attempts to say "cheese!" or "smile!" he would never do it. One day, it occurred to me that maybe he didn't know what "smile" meant, so I showed him. Now he understands a little more what to do when the camera is ready.

Right after the court proceeding has finished. We only took one picture, and I decided to close my eyes at the precise moment.

Our happy family

Christmas time

2008-12-14T22:45:00.017-06:00

Our first Christmas season with Caleb has arrived! I remember last year when we were still wondering when we would travel, or what it would be like to have him here. We've been having fun decorating the house, watching Christmas movies, and looking at lights. Today we went to my mom's house for our annual cookie baking day, which he happily participated in.
This season has also taken another especially happy turn for us: Russ accepted a position with our public school system in their facilities design department. It's a great blend of what his last job was (site work, crawling in ceilings, etc) and what he has been working toward in his graduate studies (planning, zoning, mapping, etc). He will begin working there next week after the preliminary stuff is done. For those who have been following this journey and praying for him, we want to say thanks. A difficult journey can be so much more bearable with friends who care.

As we celebrate the birth of Jesus our Lord, we are very grateful for you all! Merry Christmas everyone!

Why is there a tree in our living room?

Trying eggnog for the first time

Learning to sing "Deck the Halls"--Falalalala is the best part!

"Decorating" cookies at grandma's

The finished product, courtesy of cousin Maesa (every red-hot available was used)

2 Year Old Beagle: Free to Good Home

2008-11-12T21:20:00.006-06:00

Or, at least that's what has been going through my mind lately. Ok, so I'm not 100% ready to let the little beast go (we are talking about Owen here), but he really is getting on my nerves. Recently, Caleb was given a wonderful little farm set, a belated birthday present from his uncle Matt and aunt Michelle. The kid loves anything having to do with farms, which is great since he has easy access to one in our family. Matt and Michelle gave him a little tractor that plays "Old McDonald" and various animal noises, and comes complete with a pig, sheep, cow, horse, and a farmer to drive. Caleb loved it:

So, I have a child who loves farms. I also have a beagle who loves to chew. He will chew almost anything he can get his paws around. Ok, maybe not absolutely everything, he has refrained from gnawing on table legs, but most anything else has to be monitored. If I turn my back for one minute, any small, preferably plastic or cloth item becomes the next victim. After putting Caleb to bed tonight, I got busy working on a newsletter on the computer and wasn't paying attention, until, well, enter Exhibit A:

In case you can't tell, the one on the left is the remains of the pig and the brown one on the right was a horse. I'm sure they can still ride in the wagon, but it won't be the same. I'm fairly certain Caleb will notice when he wakes up tomorrow.
Why does Owen have to be such a menace at times? Am I a poor dog owner or is he just being a beagle? We recently took him to a new place to have his nails cut--something I put off as long as possible normally because he is a freak about it. We took him to the same place where he has been boarded before, just never groomed. I warned them that the last nail clipping at the vet required him to be muzzled. I just didn't want anyone to get bitten, that's all. As they carried him gently away, the tech referred to him as simply being "toenail sensitive". So maybe he really wants to be coddled and it's my fault for not paying enough attention to him, I don't know. All I do know is that we are going to have to figure something out soon or all of Caleb's toys will slowly be consumed, piece by piece.

2008-11-05T16:27:00.021-06:00

It's our last day of good weather for the year, I think. 70 degrees today and 40-something tomorrow. Caleb and I just came inside from a brisk walk to the post office. We had headed next door to Ace Hardware where they had mums on sale for $1 at end of the year clearance, but they were just too heavy to carry back while trying to manage a 2 year old near the street at the same time. Maybe I'll go back tomorrow.

Further changes have ensued around here. What I believed was "settling in" for our family was really only some type of notion in my head. We have no one to blame, though, except ourselves. I believe we really are trying to make good decisions, at least it seems that way at the time, anyway. I have officially changed jobs again. What is with me anyway? Ok, to tell the truth, working in an office (at least the one I was employed at) was dull. Bear with my cynicism here for just a moment, but I was witness to several "crisis" events that took place that sent people scattering to find the crash cart: quick! we have a life to save! Only, in my head, I wouldn't call them emergencies at all. I feel as if I've seen some real emergencies, and these weren't it. I was afraid that if I continued to work there (or in other non-critical care settings), I would become complacent, accepting of the mundane, and I would turn into one of those freak-out people who don't know how to use an oxygen mask. I'm just not ready to go there yet. (For anyone reading this who works in another sector of nursing that I have just deemed boring by my standards, I'm sorry. It's just me, that's all). I resigned from that office, and the people there were great about it. They were all very supportive of my choice to leave, stating that I'm going back to where I used to work because "it's what I do". Anyway, I'm returning to NICU. Not the fantastic schedule I have enjoyed for the past year, but I guess it's more important to me to do something I am challenged by, something I feel really good about.

Change #2 in our home: Russ is officially done with his job at Windstream. He is currently still looking for a job and continuing with his master's degree. The jobs he has applied for have run the gamut from professional to blue collar/permanent to transitional-until-he-graduates jobs. Who knew the Dow would have the biggest drop in recent history mere weeks after deciding to quit? It probably doesn't seem so smart to be looking for a job right now, what with our economy so poor, but I really think something will come through. It's really only been 2 weeks since his last job ended: we're not worried at this point, but we would appreciate the prayers for him to find the right place. Hey, maybe with the election finally over, we can see some immediate benefits and change??! Who knows.

With all of this going on, we're happy to enjoy life and our other moments of family and just simply having a good time. There are quite a few things going on around here this time of year, and it's been fun to watch Caleb discovering new things (Halloween candy, for instance).

Caleb dressed up as an Indian brave for Halloween and Russ and I decided to be pilgrims.

A visit from cousins Madisen and Thadd.

Saturday at Fallbrook fall festival. They had one of those huge inflatable jumping castles. Caleb is not quite sure about the whole thing.

Then, after a trip down the slide, he decided it was a lot of fun!

Downtown at the train station

Playing around with cousin Maesa. Exactly how many kids can you fit into a diaper box?

Updates on just about everybody

2008-10-01T08:04:00.009-05:00

Here we begin my favorite month of the year: October! I love it around here when the leaves are changing and the weather is cooling off. After so much busyness and a month of not posting, I'm finally trying to update.

Russ: as of late October, will be done with his job at Windstream. A strange thought, considering he has been there 13 years--I've never known him to work anywhere else. There have been continued changes in their system, and I think he has been unhappy there for quite a while. Add that to the fact that he is getting close to his Master's degree, and it made sense for him to try to go elsewhere, at least in the short term. He has applied at several places and is still waiting to hear back from some. It will be interesting to see where he ends up in all of this. Just when it seems like things are starting to slow down....

Caleb: 2 years and 1 month old these days. I am aware more and more every day how he is simply a great kid. He's doing well at daycare and spends a day during the week at home with me when I have a day off. Aside from going home sick this week with 102 degree temperature, he has been healthy and happy. A speech therapist from the public school system, Sharla, has been coming to our house every couple of weeks and working on words with him. Between signing and vocalizing, he really does try to say a lot of things. Sharla has said several times, "he really is just a very vocal child!" and I would agree with that wholeheartedly. Quiet and serene he is not. He is constantly chattering away about something, even if it only makes sense to him.

Owen: one word: naughty. I thought the addition of Zeus to the family would shape him up a bit, but instead, he seems to be trying to turn Zeus to the dark side. We have been continuing to work with him on obedience and discipline, but sometimes, I really think it is a lost cause. If he isn't in a structured environment, he can really get out of control. A couple of days ago, we had a neighbor who complained about his howling. I felt bad, because who knows how long they have noticed it and not said anything? Once again, he is wearing a bark collar--a training method for any other dog, but a permanent fixture for him. He knows when it is off and will resume his bark/howl as soon as possible. Sigh.

Zeus: a little less well-behaved than when he first came home. He is, at times, quite needy and will push everyone out of the way (including knocking Caleb to the ground at times) in his quest for attention. But, he is not beyond hope of being well behaved. He, too, has a bark collar that only needs to be worn occasionally, because he actually learns and retains knowledge, unlike certain other beagles in our home. If he gets his regular walk and exercise, he does well. Both dogs' behavior reminds me of that of a young child, so it is like having 3 toddlers in the house--only 2 of them probably won't be growing out of this stage!

Me: what can I say? Working, being a mom/wife, taking care of 2 dogs, church, friends, etc. My job is....well, I won't go there much today. Let's just say that I am very aware that I used to have a very technical, challenging job (before the school nurse gig) and now I don't. And that isn't the greatest thing because I feel overqualified for this job. Which could be fine, but it gets dull. I do really enjoy the people and the doctors that I work for, though. I think that, at least in nursing, jobs are a toss-up: you either work at a job you love and are passionate about but with less-than-great hours, or you take a boring job with the greatest schedule ever. Ok, maybe that is only in my case, I don't know. I'm not complaining, I'm just...thinking, that's all.

2!!

2008-09-01T08:27:00.020-05:00

Ladies and gentlemen, we now officially have a 2 year old in the house! Caleb's birthday was Saturday, August 30. We had several family members and friends over to celebrate. I keep remembering his 1st birthday, which we also celebrated, even though he was not living with us at that time. It's interesting how much things have changed in a year! We had a great time celebrating. My parents came over a little early and my mom helped me make sweet and sour pork, garlic chicken, mongolian beef, fried rice, potstickers, and egg rolls (the last two items being from a box). We wanted to keep a Chinese element with the food, simply to remember his country. Except dessert. The kid is so into cars and tractors that I couldn't resist making a tractor cake. Before I was a nurse, I worked as a cake decorator for several years, so this was fun for me:

It may have been a lot of red and black frosting, but who cares? He's only going to turn 2 once!

He received a lot of nice gifts from everyone, although the concept of opening presents seemed new to him. He didn't quite know what to do at first, but then I think he realized that the gifts were for him and he took over playing with certain ones--there was one car in particular that made noise and music when the wheels turned, which we listened to for the rest of the night until he went to bed!

Yesterday, we went to the State Fair for a few hours in the afternoon. It was the usual hot, crowded, overpriced experience that it has been in past years. But Caleb loved it. It's a great place to see farm animals and tractors up close and ride some small rides at the midway. We skipped the pizza on a stick and the deep-fried Oreos and Twinkies this year. Fair food doesn't quite have the appeal that it did when I was eleven years old.

We are enjoying this 3 day Labor Day weekend. Russ and Caleb are currently rebuilding our front step together. Russ started classes last week after having the summer off. He is in one class that meets on Wednesdays, and the other is independent study, so he has some flexibility. He is progressing along well and may be starting his thesis in a few more months! Caleb is doing well at daycare, and we're getting good reports. Except that there is a biter in the crowd and he has already been bitten twice! It doesn't seem to phase him, though. He comes home happy, and seems to be learning more about sharing and patience (at a 2 year old level, at least). I am battling a cold that I am blaming on an exposure to something at my job. Oh well, it's part of working with sick kids and not having the immunity yet. It comes with the territory. I am, otherwise, really liking my job, after being there for 3 weeks. I really enjoying seeing the patients and meeting the regular families, and I've already been learning a lot. And, I'm enjoying the schedule--it's Labor Day and I'm home with my family--so now I'm off to enjoy them!

08.08.08

2008-08-08T12:26:00.021-05:00

Well, we feel so excited that the Olympic games are starting today in Beijing! How amazing that we were there ourselves almost 5 months ago. Today, Caleb is wearing his Olympic T-shirt that we bought for him while we were there. It says: Beijing 2008 WELCOME TO YOU on it. Russ and I have both been thinking about China a lot lately, and I'm sure it is somewhat because of the recent spotlight. We can't wait to go back someday and visit and take Caleb with us to see his home country. Pictured above is the "bird's nest" stadium of the Olympic games, still under construction as we saw it in March.

This has been my last week home full time with Caleb. I'm starting my new job on Monday. I will be working at a pediatric doctor's office, part time, in Omaha. I'm looking forward to this, as it will probably be more interesting than school nursing, but not as critical as NICU. That's fine by me. I also am happy to have a more permanent position, as this past year with the schools was a one year contract. It was difficult to spend the year not knowing if I would return again or be forced to find something else at the end of the school year. In the end, the school system did offer me another position, which I declined. While it is not easy to start another new job in a year and it add more change to our already busy lives, I couldn't continue in the job. This probably doesn't come as much of a surprise, considering my attitude expressed toward it in previous posts. So, that's where I'll be: working for Children's Hospital Physicians, seeing kids, helping the pediatrician in the office, and probably giving many flu shots and immunizations.

Caleb and I have been keeping up this week with different activities: we've been to the zoo and rode the train, went swimming with my friend Jane, and went to Omaha with my sister. His attitude and spirit are pretty much back to what he was pre-surgery. We had a couple weeks there, with pain/bleeding/feedings that really made him quite grumpy. I was beginning to wonder where my happy little guy went to. Now he's back. He will start daycare next week. It's an in-home daycare where my niece goes, so he will be with his cousin, Maesa. And, this gal is also an adoptive mom: they brought home their daughter from Korea almost 6 years ago. So, I'm happy for Caleb to have some interaction with other kids during the day. And after this event-filled past 6 months, I'm ready to get into some type of routine. I think we're all ready for that.

Zeus and other updates

2008-07-30T08:51:00.007-05:00

We're now 2 weeks into the arm restraints at home. The good news: Caleb has really taken to them. Sometimes, he doesn't even want to take them off for a skin/circulation check. He has even accepted being fed his meals. The bad news: we found out yesterday that he has to wear them an extra week.

Saturday morning, we woke up and he was bleeding out of his mouth and nose. It was strange to me because, at the time, he was 10 days post surgery. If he was going to bleed, wouldn't it have been sooner? All kinds of thoughts were racing through my brain as I contacted the surgeon on-call. Maybe he'll have to go to the hospital? Maybe go back into surgery? His first surgery is totally ruined and we have to start over? We ended up taking him to the ER, where he was diagnosed with "oozing" from his stitches. Then we came home. Since then, it's back to the liquid diet, eat cold foods, and call if it gets worse. It has since happened again on Monday, but nothing since. Yesterday, we went to our post-op check up with the surgeon. I was expecting a few more answers. He looked in Caleb's mouth. I told him about the bleeding. He didn't know that it happened, but it's no big deal. I told him about food still coming out of his nose sometimes. He said that happens sometimes, but it's no big deal. How much longer until he can go back to a soft diet? A couple more days. Then, he told us we needed to come back in two more weeks for another check and he has to wear his arm restraints until then (making it an extra week). Then, my five minutes were up, and he was gone. Well, as most everything else is in life, we're still at a "wait and see". Fortunately, aside from everything I have mentioned, he really is doing well.

In the midst of everything else, we also decided to get another dog. When we were considering it, the responses to this idea ranged anywhere from "that's a great idea" (only heard once) to "you are insane" (heard a little more frequently). It would seem that we have our hands full, and getting another dog would only add to the stress. But, actually, that wasn't my theory. I do love dogs, and, not that I want a house full of them, two are not that bad. Also, when I go back to work in August, Owen will be home alone for long periods of time, so we wanted a friend for him. Does that mean I coddle Owen too much? Oh well, maybe I do. We wanted to make sure that we found the "right" dog, and we certainly did! His name is Zeus, and he is a rottweiler/beagle mix who we adopted from the humane society. He is such a good dog! He's four years old, so he's a little more calm and quiet. It's a great influence on Owen, actually. He never barks, he recalls to his name very quickly, he sits/lays down/shakes/heels/stays on command. Since Owen is our first dog, we really didn't have anyone to compare him to. He is, many times, very naughty, but we love him. But we are so happy to have Zeus because he keeps Owen in line a little more. So, maybe we are insane, but I don't care. I think he's worth it.

Palate repaired

2008-07-19T15:21:00.019-05:00

Caleb's palate surgery was on Wednesday this week and he's home again and happy. Ok, he's home. Happy will come later I'm sure. We went in very early on Wednesday morning. The hospital is about an hour drive from our home, so arriving there at 5:30 am was a little daunting. They took him back for surgery at about 7 am and it was supposed to take 2 hours. A little after 10 am, the surgeon finally came to our room to tell us it was done. I guess it took longer than they planned because his mouth is so small and it was difficult to work in. After his recovery, they brought him and he was so sleepy. His mouth was quite bruised and puffy, plus he had some bruising around the corners of his mouth. I can only imagine it was from trying to open his mouth as much as possible to see what they were doing. He did so well, though. He slept most of the day and was up and about again on Thursday. We got home yesterday and he's doing fine. I knew he was resilient: he's been handling it all so well.
For now, he is on a full liquid diet and wearing arm restraints. These will last for three weeks, and, sorry to say, I am counting the days. The restraints stretch from his shoulder to the middle of his hand and prevent him from bending at the elbow. This keeps him from putting anything at all in his mouth and ruining the work that has been done. I'm impressed by his attitude toward them: for all he knows, they are a permanent fixture in his life. He manages to play and get around quite well. We have been feeding him, though, something he is still adjusting to. He wants to be independent and feed himself, and so far, as long as we've known him, that's what he's done. So, sitting back and waiting for the spoon is a frustrating thing for him. Also, we've been teaching him some signs and gestures so that he is better able to communicate. These, too, I thought would be pretty much on hold, but I've now noticed that he has modified them and he still gets his point across.
We are glad to be home. Russ and I both stayed at the hospital the whole time, and, as anybody knows, it's not the most restful place. It made me reminiscent of our China days when we were still trying to figure out the schedule and staying in one room. Although, there were no nurses then, coming in at all hours. It really made me think about my work and how it affects people. Speaking of work, I have accepted a job to start in August, but I'll talk more about that later. For now, we are recovering at home and Caleb is getting back to his usual self (a slightly modified version).

Like a Champ

Up and running around the next day.

Back at home.

Home 3 months!

2008-06-27T17:11:00.016-05:00

Hard to believe, but it's been 3 months to the day since we stepped off that plane, coming all the way from China, and bringing our little boy to his forever home. I look at him today and he is so amazingly different from the little guy we first met and spent two weeks with in China. He's changed so very much. His personality is stronger and he's such a gleeful, fun person. If I had to peg his personality temperament, he seems like he will be a leader. He is strong willed, and probably the most stubborn child I've ever met (although I'm sure any parent reading this is saying, "uh....you haven't met my child!"). I really think the strong will is to his benefit: he is adaptable and resilient.

So, we're spending the summer together, and it's great. I've been trying to take him (and sometimes Owen) to a different place to explore or see every few days. Not big events or anything, just some stuff to do this summer, which he's happy to do, but also just as content to be in our baby pool in the backyard. Easy to please, apparently. So far, we have been to the Roca Berry Farm, Morrill Hall, Aksarben aquarium, and Lee Simmons safari. (Safari? I question that a little. Safari implies, in my head, zebras, tigers, and elephants. This was more the Nebraska safari of a wild turkey, bison, and cranes. Oh, and we did see a wolf in a caged-off area.) Anyway, we've come away with new things to see, 10 lbs of strawberries, and time spent together and with friends. It's been a great summer so far--a true blessing of a way to spend our first 3 months home together, especially since things are about to change.

We met with the craniofacial team 3 weeks ago, in Omaha. It was a morning of meeting different specialists in the areas of hearing, speech, ENT, genetics, orthodontics, and plastic surgery. It was so great to be able to talk with so many people who were knowledgeable, could answer our questions, and come up with a plan. They did several tests and explained alot about future procedures and therapies. His hearing is diminished, which I had noticed some (OK, I thought it was just selective hearing!)but they determined he may just need tubes placed. So, the plan is to do his palate repair and place tubes at that time. This all goes down on Wednesday, July 16th, so, if you think of it, please pray for Caleb on that day. It would mean a lot.

He has also qualified for speech therapy through early intervention. We have a meeting about that next week. He really has been trying to use more words, and is getting the "ar" sound of "star" or "car". He has some stars on the wall of his room, which he frequently points to and tries to say "ar...." which ends up sometimes coming across a little more like a pirate sound, but, whatever. Otherwise, there aren't a lot of clear words coming from him, but we get his meaning most of the time. I'm sure he believes he's making sense because he babbles and gestures as if he is holding our rapt attention in conversation. One day, the words will start flowing and we won't be able to stop it!

Finally, our full time together this summer is limited, as I will be going back to work in August. The question I've been asked by many is, where? Good question. I'm still working out details, so I actually don't have an answer yet. I remember last year, happily gushing about my job interview for a school nurse position. Well, let's just say I hope to be telling all what I'm doing soon. I'll leave it at that for now.

I'll post some pics of our summer activities. Here's to many more summers ahead of us as a family!!!

Remembering the First Moments...

2008-06-15T01:21:00.004-05:00

Guest Author: Russ

Well, its Father's Day, and I am feeling a bit sentimental.
It has been 3 months almost exactly that we first met our son.
I put together a little slideshow of "Gotcha Day",
- the day I became a Dad in real life.

Summertime

2008-06-04T16:46:00.012-05:00

Well, Monday was my last day of work for the summer, so I'm off for the next two and a half months. It's a definite perk of working for the public school system. We're already feeling the hot, humid weather around here, complete with thunderstorms. A few days ago, I woke up to find what looked like a moderately sized tree in our side yard. It turned out to be a very large branch that had snapped off of the neighbors tree during the previous night's storm and was lying across the corner of their roof, taking up most of their yard, and part of ours. Caleb is doing great. He had a great time staying with my parents during the days that I was at school. We've got some plans lined up for the summer, but no big vacations or trips at this point (going to China was probably enough traveling for one year, I think). The next several days, though, we are busy with appointments. Tomorrow, we will have our first post-placement visit with the social worker. I'm not really nervous about it, except for maybe the behavior of our dog. He just gets a little too excited to see people sometimes. This social worker will be the same one who did our homestudy and visited us here a year ago. We were pretty nervous back then because we thought she had the power to make or break this adoption. In retrospect, it wasn't too bad at all. And this time....well, considering Caleb is now home, I don't think we have much to worry about.

Friday, we have a meeting with the craniofacial team at Boystown Research Hospital. The team consists of a plastic surgeon, an oral surgeon, audiologist, ENT doctor, speech therapist, nurses, and probably a few other people that I'm forgetting. Since a cleft lip and palate can affect several different functions, all of these will need to be evaluated and then a plan will be drawn up. We should be able to have his first surgery (palate repair) sometime this summer. So, that will be another part of our summer plans. While I'm not looking forward to seeing my little guy deal with post-op pain/recovery, it will be great to have it done. And, we won't have so much food coming out of his nose as often!

Here's a story related to his open palate: he doesn't really have the capacity to suck when drinking, so every time we get a sippy cup, we take the valve out so that he can just drink out of it. Recently, someone gave us some new-fangled ones that he really likes (complete with pictures of Lightning McQueen on them) though they don't have a valve. I don't know what it is....just a different kind of opening. Well, I put some milk in one and gave it to him to see if he could use it and I saw some milk in his mouth, so I figured hey, it works! Later in the day, we went to lunch at Chipotle. My friend Kris was putting green tabasco on her burrito and Caleb kept reaching for the bottle. He really wanted that tabasco. So Kris put a small drop on the end of his finger and let him try it. His eyes teared up, his face was red, he didn't know what to think. She offered him his sippy cup and he grabbed it and drank. It wasn't until we were home, several hours later, that I went to refill it. It was still full. Turns out, he wasn't really able to get much out of it at all. I felt terrible!! No wonder he was frantically trying to eat ice out of one of our empty cups at lunch. Once I switched it out, he guzzled two full cups. Poor thing!

In spite of that, he really is doing well, and we're looking forward to summer. We already have a toddler sized swimming pool that hasn't even made it to our backyard yet. Someone gave it to us as a gift and it is currently inflated and sitting in our living room. Caleb is excited even just having it like that--wait until he sees what it is really used for! I'm excited for his to have his first summer here and experience all the stuff that goes with it!

"Just around the corner"

2008-05-08T19:47:00.006-05:00

I went back to work this week. Overall, it's been good, even if it's only been a day and a half. Caleb has been going to my parent's house during the day and we will keep this up until the end of the school year, which is only about 3 weeks away. He's doing great with it, overall. I think I worried a little in the beginning because I wasn't sure how it would go. But, we had a couple of practice days while I was off, where we went and spent most of the day there and he could take a nap. My parents live in the country, so the whole farm thing is also a big draw. The tractors and the riding lawn mower are parked at the top of the hill from the house. Every day that we pull in the driveway, the pointing/grunting begins before we are even out of the car. Tractors! We let him sit in the tractor with my dad, which was a big treat for him.

This time off has gone amazingly fast, and before I knew it, I was driving to work on Wednesday morning. As many already know, this job has been a little questionable for me this past year. While I have really enjoyed the schedule (and I would continue to enjoy that for, well, forever), the actual job itself hasn't been as great as I had hoped. Oh well, we live and learn. I was driving to work--alone in the car for the first time in weeks, and it suddenly seemed strange--and I was thinking about all of the real reasons I was at this job for the past year. Looking back, when I was hired, it was for a one-year-only contract: a fact I was disappointed about in the beginning. Now, I am grateful that when my year is up, I'm done. But in the past year, I've gotten to enjoy my weekends off, sleeping at night, eating breakfast routine that I once gushed about in a previous post. It still holds true. I've also learned a lot about the public school system, and now that I have a child, I am a little more aware of current and future opportunities that are out there. And, I've met some really neat people, some of whom I could even call friends (!). So, I will try to enjoy my last three weeks, knowing that it is almost over. And yet....I somehow couldn't manage to get through the year without having to do the school nurse "talk" to the fourth and fifth graders. The PC/somewhat misleading and vague term for it is called "Growth and Development" class. In other words, puberty. I've been off work for 8 weeks, I go back for the last 3 weeks of the school year, and I still have this squeezed into my schedule. The teachers have deflected to me: they are so uncomfortable with it that they schedule it for the last couple of weeks of school, on a Friday, the last hour of the day. That way, they can have the school nurse do the talking, the bell rings, and they send the kids home for the weekend where they can ask their parents the embarassing questions. And what does the school nurse do? This particular one took the easy way out and checked out educational videos from the district office that will do the talking for her, appropriately called "Just Around the Corner". Here's what you can expect, kids. Watch this video to learn how you will be changing soon, it's just around the corner! Now, if you have any questions, be sure you ask your mom and dad!

Okay, so I'm not copping out that much. I will do some talking, as uncomfortable as it may be. Actually, being a nurse, I can honestly say that I've seen more than an average person's share of uncomfortable things, and this class ranks kind of low. But I did check out the videos.... hey, whatever works, right?

It's the end of the world as we know it

2008-04-23T08:11:00.010-05:00

So this is what life has become: an REM song. I've become aware that the life that I have always known is pretty much over. Not that I had this most exciting, out-there life to begin with, but, you know, it was mine. I knew that things would be different, and, after waiting for so long, I expected to feel happy and excited, which I do. But what I wasn't prepared for was this unexpected sense of grief. Where could this be coming from? Probably the fact that I've spent thirty-odd years doing my own thing and suddenly (or, not so suddenly, depending on how you view the timing), my own thing is not mine anymore. I've realized the dramatic change is sometimes tiring, sometimes wonderful. But, I have noticed the change.

1. Time alone. For an introvert, this is a tough one. I like my time alone. Someone said to me recently that the first child is the hardest because you are used to your time alone and then it is gone. Subsequent children are a little easier because, by then, you are used to not having much to yourself anymore. Ok, note taken.

2. Social activities. Russ and I went to a birthday party a couple of nights ago and we found ourselves going over our plans ahead of time: we stick together and neither one of us is left alone with Caleb to chase him around, and we only stay for 30 minutes, tops. I also found myself re-telling the same story to two people who politely pretended that they hadn't heard it before. Is it true that I now have run out of things to talk about so that I am repeating myself?

3. The quiet. It doesn't exist anymore, except maybe during nap time. The constant din that goes on around our house has been one of the toughest things to get used to. I like quiet. I knew toddlers were noisy, but I didn't realize the amount of screeching, babbling, barking, "Old McDonald" songs I would be hearing on an hourly basis. In addition, I also didn't realize how much giggling, singing, and general levels of cuteness that would be taking place either.

We've been opening toys little by little to avoid some of the "Disneyland syndrome" that adopted kids can face. We broke out this little rider, which Russ and I loved, but I don't think Caleb really knew what to do with it. After sitting him on it, he managed to push himself around a little, tentatively, at least.

Caleb found one of those musical cards that plays a song when it is opened. He thought it was so funny to open and close it over and over to stop and start the song, which in this case was the theme song from "Dallas".

Overall, Caleb is adjusting very nicely. Whenever I feel like complaining about how much things have changed, I have to consider what he must be thinking. He was once living in a foster home in China before some people showed up one day and literally took him to the other side of the world. Talk about change. We have a book called "Caleb Crosses the Country" that we read at bedtime each night. It's about a camel named Caleb who was afraid to travel, but he learns that God can use anybody, even if we are afraid. Every night that we read it, it reminds me of how brave my little boy is. I'm so proud of him.

My 2 Sons

2008-04-15T06:45:00.007-05:00

Well, now that we have been home for 2 1/2 weeks, we are falling into something that resembles a routine. I'm a little more aware now of what is going on because the jet lag haze is over, although some amounts of sleep deprivation remain, a fact that will not change until, well, retirement? I don't know.

When we were planning to bring Caleb home and waiting all those months, we still had Owen during that time. He was our only "child" so to speak, and got most of our attention. When I thought ahead to when Caleb would be here, I worried that Owen would be impatient or somehow another personality would emerge and he would be snippy with Caleb. I worried that Caleb wouldn't like Owen and be afraid of him. Not true in either case. Caleb loves Owen and Owen willingly puts up with the near-constant hugs, being sat on, having his tail pulled, etc. But something else has shown up and I'm not sure what to do. Owen seems to be having a "jealous older-brother" syndrome going on. Every time we play with Caleb, Owen is right there--bringing a toy for us to throw for him or sniffing around into something he isn't supposed to be. Most of Caleb's toys are off-limits for Owen, simply because he tends to chew everything in sight if you don't stop him. Stuffed animals, in particular, are the victims. So, I spend much of my time taking things away from Owen. Probably about the same amount of time I spend running after Caleb. I now have two toddlers in the house!

I might add that we have been trying to give Owen a lot of attention as well, so he doesn't feel quite so snubbed. And, the other day, our sweet neighbors brought over a "new baby" gift for Caleb, and the next day, they came back with a new toy for Owen, too. He's all right now.

We're home!

2008-03-30T12:06:00.005-05:00

It is so good to be home. I don't think I was aware of how much I really wanted to come back until we actually arrived at our house. I'm sure that it could have also been partly because of our very long trip to get here. Thankfully, it is over now. A brief synopsis:

Get up at 4am to fly from Guangzhou to Beijing. It's a 3 hour flight that Caleb sleeps through. 4 hour layover in Beijing that I thought would be long and boring, but was actually spent with another adoptive family, trying only to find terminal 2. We manage to make it onto the 2nd flight, Beijing to Newark. It's a 13 hour flight and Caleb barely sleeps at all. Besides being incredibly long, it's not exactly dull. There is vomiting, tears, an argument between 2 passengers across the aisle from us that required flight attendant intervention, me trying to clean up the floor of the airplane restroom because Caleb peed everywhere, more tears (by me), and a request by the airline staff for help from any medical personnel on the flight because someone was ill. I volunteered after I realized no one else was saying anything. I should have mentioned right away that I was a pediatric nurse, so I wasn't sure how much I could do. The whole time, I kept thinking, "what if they have to land the plane? Where are we going to land? We're flying over the North Pole!" Fortunately, I was trumped by a Chinese doctor on board and didn't have to do anything. We arrive in Newark and spend almost 3 hours standing in line, going through customs, finding and rechecking our luggage, etc. At this point, I am aware that I have limits to what I can endure while traveling, and I believe I have reached it. But we still had another flight ahead: Newark to Omaha, 3 more hours. Caleb and Russ sleep and it is peaceful. We arrive at the airport and are greeted by both my family and Russ' family. I happily go to bed at 3am, so relieved that it is all over.

Caleb is adjusting nicely to home, although to him, it may just be one more place that he'll stay with us for a little while before moving on. It's the 3rd bed he's slept in since he's been with us. The sleeping thing is probably the biggest issue, as we are all still jet lagged, and he really doesn't appreciate the crib yet. Getting to sleep is OK. Staying asleep is another story entirely. Sometimes, he just sleeps wherever, I guess.

We went to visit my parents the next day to meet the rest of my family. We were also reunited with Owen. It was so good to see him! He stayed with my parents and probably became somewhat of a spoiled granddog, but that's OK, I suppose. I wasn't sure how Caleb was going to react to him, but it was all right. He was a little shy at first, but by the next day, he was totally infatuated with Owen, and wanted to feed him. The feeling wasn't exactly mutual. Owen merely tolerated Caleb for a while, but then, after being hand-fed his breakfast for 45 minutes, he really warmed up.

Russ goes back to work tomorrow, so I will be on my own all day. I hope I can handle it. We have a doctor appointment on Friday where we'll do the initial visit/workup thing and then see about making plans for Caleb's palate repair. I think they did an amazing job on his lip already, so hopefully the palate repair will go just as well.

We've been receiving a lot of phone calls and well wishes from family and friends and we really appreciate all of the support that has been given. Our dear friends even left a full refrigerator for us to find when we got home. We walked in the door to find fruit, snacks, meat, milk, and even diapers. It was great! We are so thankful to be home, see everyone, and know that so many have been following our journey along the way.

From China...part 2

2008-03-25T07:36:00.009-05:00

It's hard to believe that we go home the day after tomorrow. In so many ways, I am ready. It will be nice to stop living out of a suitcase and settle back into life at home. I can't wait to see everybody and have them meet our son.

More pictures from this past week:

This is from the area we were in last week, or closer to the area where Caleb is from. We traveled to Wuwei for a day to see his orphanage and I took this along the way.

Caleb says good-bye to a stuffed figure in the lobby of our hotel in Lanzhou. The day before we left, these large figures showed up, promoting the 2008 Beijing Olympics.

Just this evening, I was talking with another mom of a cleft child about being overprepared for this. It's true: I was expecting to have to mash his food or break out a blender to puree everything for him. But the truth is, the kid eats everything you put in front of him. What I didn't need were the special cleft bottles, Nuk nursers, and Playtex liners. I also threw one sippy cup into the suitcase before we left. It's the only thing he will drink out of at all, so it gets washed repeatedly (someone pointed out that sippy cups are made in China, but not used here). Yeah, it's the only one I've got. The other bottles, well, someone in the orphanage will hopefully now get good use out of them as they've been donated to a better cause.

We arrived in Guangzhou late Friday night and it is so different from the Gansu province that we came from. For one thing, it's humid. It actually rains at times. We spent Easter Sunday outside with the rest of the town because it was such a nice day.

Today we had a meeting with all of the families at the White Swan hotel (kind of the "main" hotel in this town where a lot of adoptive parents stay) to go over what was happening at the consulate in preparation for our return home. All of our paperwork was approved without any issues, and tomorrow there will be a swearing-in ceremony. Caleb will receive his visa and will officially become a US citizen when the plane lands. The tradition here is to take a picture of the babies on the famous "red couch" of the hotel (ok, maybe just famous in the China adoption realm). The kids can be dressed in traditional Chinese attire, so we found a regal little suit for Caleb to wear.

We'll be coming home soon everybody! See you then!

Gotcha!

2008-03-21T23:43:00.008-05:00

Ni hao?!

Our little guy is here!

We've actually been with him a week now, but due to internet issues and first-time parenting, I've not been able to post anything. We arrived in Guangzhou last night after spending 6 days in Lanzhou, which is Caleb's province.

We had toured Beijing for a couple of days and on Sunday, flew to Lanzhou, about a 2 hour flight. Our plan was to get settled in to our hotel and we would meet the babies on Monday at the civil affairs office. That was our first mistake: we actually planned something. Things never seem to go as planned, do they? After arriving in Lanzhou and getting off the plane, getting our bags, meeting our guide, and getting on the bus, we headed for our hotel. As soon as the bus started, our guide told us that we would not be meeting the babies on Monday. Instead, our Gotcha day was to be that day instead! They would be brought to our hotel sometime around 3pm. I looked at the clock: 1:30, with an hour drive ahead of us to the hotel. We would just be getting there and our kids would arrive soon after! Russ and I were a little stunned, to say the least:

After recovering from the initial shock, panic set in. How many gifts for the officials do we bring? Which suitcase did we pack them in? What toys should we bring with us to the meeting room? What paperwork is necessary?

We reached the hotel and ran to our rooms to put gifts together and gather stuff we needed. I was so nervous! It was a strange thought that Caleb was so close by, he's always been there in pictures and dreams, but now to meet him in person! I wondered what his personality would be like, would he be traumatized by everything? Will he like us? The questions were endless in my mind. We went to the designated meeting room where the other families were waiting, too. After a few moments, a man came in and announced that the babies had arrived. The nannies came into the room with the kids, and I saw Caleb right away. I saw those eyes...straight out of his pictures. He was smaller than I imagined. He looked little and vulnerable, clinging to his nanny and looking around at everyone. We were so excited. The nannies took the kids and sat with them on their laps for a few minutes, since none of them seemed to eager to go straight to their new parents. Everyone was a little shy at first, and then, my little boy jumped down from his nanny's lap and toddled toward the waiting group with a smile on his face! He was so friendly, and so busy, just into everything in that room while we spent a few minutes getting to know him and signing papers.

The next day, we went to the civil affairs office to finish the paper work and he is officially ours! I guess we can't send him back now, huh? Who would want to? This little guy has so much personality and spunk. It is a lot of energy to keep up with, but he's doing great!

So, we have spent the last week in Lanzhou at the hotel and around the town some, getting used to being a family. It is very strange, the mix of culture and humanity in this country. It is unlike anything I've ever been exposed to. While driving, in one lane of traffic there is a rickshaw, right next to a Land Rover. Street markets have vendors selling traditional food, clothing, and spices sitting outside a coffee shop with an internet cafe. The architecture of one building on the street will have traditional/ancient Chinese decor and it will be next to a hotel covered in Vegas-style lights. Very interesting, all of it.

We spent a day travelling to see the orphanage were Caleb is from. Even though he was in foster care for much of his life, he still was closely associated with the orphanage in his hometown and probably went back at least once a month for a check up. The orphanage was four hours from Lanzhou, and when we arrived, we were warmly welcomed. We felt very honored to be there, as there are not very many families who return to visit. We had lunch with the directors and were able to tour the grounds and see some of the kids. It was very emotional. The assistant director took us to the very spot where Caleb was found as a newborn, on a road near the orphanage. She was actually the very person who found him. What an honor to be able to meet her! It's so strange to think back to that day, only 18 months ago. I remember what I was doing during that time, and it was not planning to go to China to adopt a little boy. It's amazing to think that God knew, even on that very day, that we would one day be standing in that spot.

There is so much more to say, so I'll have to keep adding posts and pictures. We are excited to come home, but we are here until Thursday, finishing up the consulate stuff. Tomorrow we are going to take more pictures of Guangzhou, which is entirely different from where we just came from.

Take care everyone!

From China...

2008-03-15T05:34:00.008-05:00

So, we've made it here. As I write this, we are sitting in an internet cafe on the streets of Beijing. We arrived after about 24 hours of travel--I guess a couple days ago, it's hard to tell, really. I think it was Thursday afternoon. We're about 13 hours ahead of home, CDT. Our flight was looooong, but we arrived safely. I think I watched Enchanted at least 3 times, as it was one of the only in-flight movies available. Not bad.

There are three other families with us, which is great. These are families that are adopting through our agency, and we have been communicating with some of them since we have been DTC. Two of the families are here on their 2nd adoption, and we've gotten some great advice on this whole thing. There is so much that can be unexpected that I appreciate any help that I can get.

Highlights: yesterday, we walked past Tiananmen Square but were not able to go closer than across the street, as it is not open to the public at this time. We walked through the Forbidden City, which is enormous. Quite a bit of history there. I think one of the best parts of the day was taking a rickshaw into the hutong neighborhood, which is an older area of homes throughout some narrow streets and alleys (actually, the rickshaw ride was cool, but the driving here overall is, uh, uncomfortably close). Anyway, we took a rickshaw to a local family's home for lunch, which was delicious. We enjoyed meeting the local people in addition to doing all of the "touristy" things.

Today we visited a jade factory where I think a clerk was hitting on me. He was actually just trying to make a sale, I'm sure. I think the line went something like, "you look like an actress I saw in a movie this weekend, uh, I can't remember her name, though. You're beautiful," until Russ pointed out that I was his wife. He replied "you are very handsome, too!" He got the sale.

We also went to the Great Wall, which was amazing. My legs are still feeling the climb, but it was so worth it!

It is such a fascinating place to be: the people, the food, the culture in general is so very different to that which we are accustomed to. I am trying to soak much of it in so that we will be able to relay this someday to our son.

Speaking of our son, we meet him the day after tomorrow! Tomorrow we will fly to Lanzhou, about 700 miles from here. We are scheduled to actually meet him on Monday, but have been told to prepare for anything. He could be brought to the hotel tomorrow after we arrive, who knows.

I am going to attempt to add some pictures here, but I don't know if it will work. I'm actually unable to see the entry after it has been posted, so we'll see what happens. Here goes!Russ at the Forbidden City

Rickshaw ride

The Great Wall!

Yesssss!

2008-02-29T21:15:00.002-06:00

I used to be pretty good at filling everyone in of what's been going on. But then, a few months ago, there was more to say. We had milestones and we made progress. The past couple of months have been mostly just waiting with not much new to report.
Until....
this week!
We received our travel approval this week! We are going! And, we're going soon! Suddenly, I don't feel ready. How can that be? Haven't I had more than enough time to prepare for this? It's true that things have been coming together, but it still feels like some things are still....out there. Unfinished. Incomplete. And they probably will never get done until absolutely necessary. I will still be reading parenting books on the plane ride over.
Here's what I think I'm mostly nervous about: he's a toddler. I can't escape some of the irony of the fact that I've spent 8 years working as a nurse for newborns, and yet I'm not getting one. I'm getting someone who is beyond my stage of understanding. I mean, I'm not totally clueless, but what exactly do toddlers do? I babysat my niece last week, who is a year older than Caleb, and it wasn't too bad. We put together the same puzzle 3 times. She helped me feed Owen, and then, when those first 12 minutes were over, we went to Home Depot because I didn't know what else to do. We spent a great deal of time checking out the carpet samples there and opening and closing every single drawer in the kitchen cabinet department seemed very entertaining. Is this my future?
It's going to be OK. As much as I have nerves, I also have a ton of excitement. And, of course, love for my little guy who I haven't even met yet. Life is seriously going to change. So what?

P.S. When I said we were leaving soon, I meant to say March 12th. As in, like, 12 days from today. I think I forgot to mention that part.

The wait goes on...

2008-02-21T01:53:00.003-06:00

Guest author: Russ
I am not much of a writer, so I'll make it brief.
The long winter continues.
We are still awaiting final travel approval from China.
The wait is getting tougher. The anticipation grows.

Below are lyrics to a song by Chris Rice that reflects our hearts right now.

Cause I just wanna be with You
I just want this waiting to be over
I just want to be with You
And it helps to know the Day is getting closer

Every minute takes an hour
Every inch feels like a mile
Til I won't have to imagine
And I finally get to see You smile

The most depressing day of the year?

2008-01-21T20:32:00.000-06:00

Ok, so here's what I was not doing this past weekend, but it's still a nice picture to look at anyway. A year ago, we were in Mexico, staying in a suite with a view of the beach, we had a hammock on our balcony, and these were my feet. It was January, it was in the 80's, and it was pre-adoption. Coming up on February 2nd is our one year mark of this journey, but it all seems to have gone pretty fast.
Instead of being in Mexico today, I am at home. It is 12 degrees outside with a light snow. Russ and I spent Saturday night at the Leid Lodge in picturesque, small-town, Nebraska (it was my new thing for the week). It was lovely: a lot of timber and fireplaces, that whole log cabin feel. Being January, it was very cold outside with a lot of snow on the ground. Over dinner, I sort of pretended that we were some place much further away instead of 45 minutes from home. Hey, it isn't Mexico, but I had to be somewhere, I guess. I think we just needed a little time away to do something different, but to also escape the everyday realities around here. Maybe everyone needs that from time to time. Today I went to a meeting at work (my old job, not the new one) and was asked no less than 5 times about our adoption process, all within a span of only a few minutes. On my own, I can deal with being childless and trying to process an international adoption that feels like it is taking 100 years. It's just when I am bombarded with questions about it and the answer is always the same that it starts to bug me. The bright outlook that I started the day with is lessened somehow. I know. I shouldn't let it get to me. And people are only asking because they care. I simply want, one of these days, to have a different answer. I want the answer to be that, yes, I do know something! Am I harping on this? I do know that I have some friends that have heard me speak of this enough. They now approach me tentatively, with a pained look on their face, almost a grimace, perhaps. Then, they slowly come out with "is it OK if I ask....?" I know they do not want to offend. I don't think there are many people who do. It's just hard sometimes, that's all.
P.S. This is a downer post! Maybe, it should just be disregarded after reading, or maybe it fits: I heard on the news that today was considered by researchers to be The Most Depressing Day of the Year. Well, tomorrow is a new day....

Trying something new

2008-01-10T19:41:00.000-06:00

These days, I'm quite aware of the post-holiday letdown. January probably isn't anyone's favorite month, really. By the time January 10th has rolled around, we are all well into the cold days and gray skies. Our Christmas decorations are down and I've already lost track of what my New Year's resolutions were. The beginning of this new year has promised to be a little difficult for us. I'm not complaining, just stating that it's hard to know what and how long we are waiting anymore. Today's count since DTC: 62 days. Not too bad.
This week has actually gone quite fast with some new and interesting things happening. I believe it is actually a good start to 2008. After I recovered from my New Year's Day flu (literally, the flu, not a hangover as it may sound), I did try to get some new ideas into my head. I have decided that, in 2008, I would like to start trying new things. This isn't a New Year's resolution, it's more like re-shaping my way of thinking. I really would like to start trying new things that might be challenging, fun, or even scary. The point is that it is new. And I'm going to try at least one new thing/activity every week. Do I sound idealistic? I don't care. I may drop this whole idea by mid-February, but for now, it's kind of fun to come up with new ideas. They don't even have to be big, just something to illicit that sense of newness instead of the feeling of same-old. I'm not sure what each week will bring, but I envision some future plans that could include skydiving and maybe Tae Kwon Do lessons?
Last week, we started off in a simple way. Instead of our usual dinner fare, Russ and I, along with my sister, travelled to small-town Nebraska to visit a steakhouse. Small towns can have some of the best food/atmosphere at times and we usually don't even recognize it. Actually, the place we visited really wasn't up there with being the best food or atmosphere, but it wasn't too bad. The food was great and the steaks were huge. And, my sister and I were both picturing the stare-down from the town's old farmers and residents who were lined up at the bar when we walked in the door. Yet, no such thing happened. It was just a nice time and a small road trip.
Monday, when I arrived home from school, there was a large box sitting in my living room. It was a Christmas gift that had come in the mail from my friend Kris! The thought is great in itself, but what was inside was even better. A Mr. Beer brewery kit! I'm so excited to even try, as I've always wondered about how to make beer or wine. Well, now I will be able to try, and that will be my new thing for the week (or longer, depending on the length of fermentation.)
So, we're off to a good start of the year. If anyone has any good ideas that I can pencil in as a future week's activity, feel free to let me know (note that Russ, my web-designer, has added our emails to the site). While we await paperwork, phone calls, or any news of our Caleb Wu, we'll do the best we can with the time we have now.

A Month in a Nutshell

2007-12-26T12:51:00.001-06:00

It's been so busy this past month that I haven't had time to write anything. There isn't anything new to post on the adoption front because it's been the same story: we wait. We've had so much to do lately. I wouldn't say we haven't noticed that Caleb isn't here, but it all sure has made the wait go by more quickly. So, here is our last month in pictures:

The first part of December, we took our pickup truck to a local Christmas tree farm. It's an annual event, although the location of where the tree comes from usually changes every year. The weather of the day also pretty much changes every year, and this year it was sleet. It wasn't too bad, though. We got it home, set it up, and had it decorated by evening. Owen found it all very interesting.

We got a lot of snow this month, too. Pretty much every Saturday in the month of December brought a new layer. I had to take this picture of our driveway on one of the big days.

We managed to send a package to Wu, but I don't think it arrived in time for Christmas. Among the gifts we sent were a stuffed beagle and a onesie pictured here. We also sent candy for his caregivers, pictures of ourselves, our family, and Owen; toy cars; some clothes; and couple of disposable cameras. There is a small company that will send care packages to children in China who are awaiting families. Since we do not know the exact address of where Caleb Wu is, we can send it through this company who will get it to his foster family. We included in the package a letter requesting the family take some pictures of him with the disposable cameras so we can have them when we come to get him. And, the photo album we sent all had (translated) captions of each person, so hopefully he will at least see what his parents are going to look like.

Russ and I participated in a live nativity in front of our church for a couple of days before Christmas. One day, we were Joseph and Mary. It actually was a neat thing because, instead of camels and Magi and shepherds around us, we had every day people standing there (a Chrismas shopper, a single mom with kids, a homeless person, a student, etc). There is a lot of traffic during the 5 o'clock hour in front of our church. The goal was for people to see themselves somewhere in the mix of people looking at the Christ child, or maybe wonder where there would fit into it. It was kind of cool.

Our family threw a toddler shower for us and we received a lot of toys and clothes for Caleb Wu. It is now sitting here waiting for him, to be worn and played with.

And, we've been celebrating Christmas for the past two days. One of our favorite gifts was for Caleb that my brother-in-law made for us. This little shirt that says Made in China. We did receive so many nice things and it was a great couple of days. We are thankful for the blessings of family at Christmas and the hope of a new family for ourselves one day, too.
Merry Christmas!

Are we there yet?

2007-11-29T12:39:00.000-06:00

Why is it that we seem to spend all of our lives trying to be somewhere else? Why be in such a huge rush to get to the next destination? I am so guilty of this. I always want to be ahead of where I am instead of enjoying the process. I am asked, frequently, about what I know or what news we have of Wu. At this point, the answer is, I don't know. And that will be the answer for a long time to come. And some days, it's OK, other days, not at all. I had been really looking forward to the holiday season because, typically, it passes very quickly because of busyness. But really, Thanksgiving was hard. The food was great, and it was a nice day, but something was missing. It was our boy. He was not there. And it hit me very hard that day.
But here's a question: instead of focusing only on what is missing, am I really just enjoying what time I have left before I become a parent? I'm free to sleep in or go to bed as late as I want with only my own consequences. I can go out, see movies, and watch whatever I want on TV (when Russ isn't around) instead of having to find a sitter, go to only G movies, or spend all my time watching The Wiggles. And, it's not every day, or year, or whatever, that I find myself planning an upcoming trip to China. It's pretty cool to think about.
I'm saying this because some days are really hard. Many people are so supportive, but they all want answers. Hey, I do, too, but I don't have any. We've been DTC since November 8th. I'm not anticipating hearing anything soon, and that's OK. One day, the mail will come and the answer will be there. We'll just be asking "are we there yet?" many more times in the mean time.
So, here's to enjoying the ride while we wait. We've been pretty busy with other stuff (hence the lack of a blog entry for about 3 weeks). Our Thanksgiving was pretty good and we are still finishing leftovers. My dog has recovered from a recent bout of kennel cough which had him on antibiotics and cough suppressants for 10 days. Our nursery is painted and the crib is here, although it has not been set up.
This weekend, depending on the weather, we will probably get our Christmas tree and try to put up some decorations. I think maybe we should have done some of this when it was 55 degrees instead of 33 and snowing like it is forecasted for Saturday. Maybe it will just mean building a fire, drinking eggnog, and breaking out my John Denver and the Muppets Christmas CD. I think that's a pretty good way to spend my time, too.

DTC!!

2007-11-09T10:20:00.000-06:00

I just came back from an appointment with a physical therapist. Actually, it was my last. Six weeks ago, I started going because of back pain that had been reoccurring. I was told it was a combination of my poor posture (which I knew) and stress (which I was in denial of). So, after several weeks of remembering to sit up straight and do my prescribed exercises, I'm feeling a lot better. Then, today when I was leaving, I also realized something else: I'm not as stressed. Six weeks ago, I was struggling through this new job and our adoption paperwork seemed at a stand still. But some of that has changed. For instance, I'm accepting my new job a little more. I'm getting used to it. Sometimes, people at work will talk to me now. I think it helped because I gave flu shots to the staff. You would think that using a needle on 40 people that I work with would make them like me less. But it actually gave me a chance to meet some new people and for them to meet me. "Hi. I'm the new nurse here. My name is Meg. And here is a poke in your arm." Or something like that. Overall, I have cut back on several hours of work per week. I always thought I would work full time until I had kids and then work less. But I'm finding that it's actually OK to work less anyway. It's that whole stress thing, I guess.
Another cause for excitement is that we finally sent our paperwork to China! It is on it's way as we speak! This is the point where we would say we are "DTC" which stands for "Dossier to China". There were quite a few days where we didn't think it would happen. On Monday morning, Russ called our agency to verify that everything was ready to go, because we knew they would be sending the next batch of dossiers this week. We knew our paperwork had been certified, authenticated, and was sitting at the agency being reviewed. Our fees were paid. Our homestudy was done and we had completed the educational aspect. Instead of finding out that everything was ready to be sent, we were told that, no, we were still missing some documents. How could this be?! I thought we had sent them every last copy of anything we could possibly have. I was beginning to wonder if they wouldn't also want a copy of my 5th grade science award certificate and a urine sample. No, they actually were missing "supportive documentation from our homestudy". In other words, the agency who did our homestudy sent them a copy of the write up and nothing else. We had two days to gather everything. Russ took Tuesday off work, and by that evening, everything was being Fedex'd overnight to our Texas agency. Finally, we received word from the agency that our paperwork was on it's way to China with everyone else's. Thank you, God.
I know everyone has a different opinion about this whole thing. For some, they complain about how long it is taking, and I know it is long. For others, they are wowed by how fast it is all going, and I can see that as well. The truth is, some days, it feels like forever. And others, I'm very grateful that it is so much shorter that our original thought. And every day, I'm thankful that we keep going and there is a little guy on the other side of the world waiting for us and we'll be meeting him soon.