A Month in a Nutshell

It's been so busy this past month that I haven't had time to write anything. There isn't anything new to post on the adoption front because it's been the same story: we wait. We've had so much to do lately. I wouldn't say we haven't noticed that Caleb isn't here, but it all sure has made the wait go by more quickly. So, here is our last month in pictures:


The first part of December, we took our pickup truck to a local Christmas tree farm. It's an annual event, although the location of where the tree comes from usually changes every year. The weather of the day also pretty much changes every year, and this year it was sleet. It wasn't too bad, though. We got it home, set it up, and had it decorated by evening. Owen found it all very interesting.

We got a lot of snow this month, too. Pretty much every Saturday in the month of December brought a new layer. I had to take this picture of our driveway on one of the big days.

We managed to send a package to Wu, but I don't think it arrived in time for Christmas. Among the gifts we sent were a stuffed beagle and a onesie pictured here. We also sent candy for his caregivers, pictures of ourselves, our family, and Owen; toy cars; some clothes; and couple of disposable cameras. There is a small company that will send care packages to children in China who are awaiting families. Since we do not know the exact address of where Caleb Wu is, we can send it through this company who will get it to his foster family. We included in the package a letter requesting the family take some pictures of him with the disposable cameras so we can have them when we come to get him. And, the photo album we sent all had (translated) captions of each person, so hopefully he will at least see what his parents are going to look like.


Russ and I participated in a live nativity in front of our church for a couple of days before Christmas. One day, we were Joseph and Mary. It actually was a neat thing because, instead of camels and Magi and shepherds around us, we had every day people standing there (a Chrismas shopper, a single mom with kids, a homeless person, a student, etc). There is a lot of traffic during the 5 o'clock hour in front of our church. The goal was for people to see themselves somewhere in the mix of people looking at the Christ child, or maybe wonder where there would fit into it. It was kind of cool.

Our family threw a toddler shower for us and we received a lot of toys and clothes for Caleb Wu. It is now sitting here waiting for him, to be worn and played with.

And, we've been celebrating Christmas for the past two days. One of our favorite gifts was for Caleb that my brother-in-law made for us. This little shirt that says Made in China. We did receive so many nice things and it was a great couple of days. We are thankful for the blessings of family at Christmas and the hope of a new family for ourselves one day, too.
Merry Christmas!

Are we there yet?

Why is it that we seem to spend all of our lives trying to be somewhere else? Why be in such a huge rush to get to the next destination? I am so guilty of this. I always want to be ahead of where I am instead of enjoying the process. I am asked, frequently, about what I know or what news we have of Wu. At this point, the answer is, I don't know. And that will be the answer for a long time to come. And some days, it's OK, other days, not at all. I had been really looking forward to the holiday season because, typically, it passes very quickly because of busyness. But really, Thanksgiving was hard. The food was great, and it was a nice day, but something was missing. It was our boy. He was not there. And it hit me very hard that day.
But here's a question: instead of focusing only on what is missing, am I really just enjoying what time I have left before I become a parent? I'm free to sleep in or go to bed as late as I want with only my own consequences. I can go out, see movies, and watch whatever I want on TV (when Russ isn't around) instead of having to find a sitter, go to only G movies, or spend all my time watching The Wiggles. And, it's not every day, or year, or whatever, that I find myself planning an upcoming trip to China. It's pretty cool to think about.
I'm saying this because some days are really hard. Many people are so supportive, but they all want answers. Hey, I do, too, but I don't have any. We've been DTC since November 8th. I'm not anticipating hearing anything soon, and that's OK. One day, the mail will come and the answer will be there. We'll just be asking "are we there yet?" many more times in the mean time.
So, here's to enjoying the ride while we wait. We've been pretty busy with other stuff (hence the lack of a blog entry for about 3 weeks). Our Thanksgiving was pretty good and we are still finishing leftovers. My dog has recovered from a recent bout of kennel cough which had him on antibiotics and cough suppressants for 10 days. Our nursery is painted and the crib is here, although it has not been set up.
This weekend, depending on the weather, we will probably get our Christmas tree and try to put up some decorations. I think maybe we should have done some of this when it was 55 degrees instead of 33 and snowing like it is forecasted for Saturday. Maybe it will just mean building a fire, drinking eggnog, and breaking out my John Denver and the Muppets Christmas CD. I think that's a pretty good way to spend my time, too.

DTC!!

I just came back from an appointment with a physical therapist. Actually, it was my last. Six weeks ago, I started going because of back pain that had been reoccurring. I was told it was a combination of my poor posture (which I knew) and stress (which I was in denial of). So, after several weeks of remembering to sit up straight and do my prescribed exercises, I'm feeling a lot better. Then, today when I was leaving, I also realized something else: I'm not as stressed. Six weeks ago, I was struggling through this new job and our adoption paperwork seemed at a stand still. But some of that has changed. For instance, I'm accepting my new job a little more. I'm getting used to it. Sometimes, people at work will talk to me now. I think it helped because I gave flu shots to the staff. You would think that using a needle on 40 people that I work with would make them like me less. But it actually gave me a chance to meet some new people and for them to meet me. "Hi. I'm the new nurse here. My name is Meg. And here is a poke in your arm." Or something like that. Overall, I have cut back on several hours of work per week. I always thought I would work full time until I had kids and then work less. But I'm finding that it's actually OK to work less anyway. It's that whole stress thing, I guess.
Another cause for excitement is that we finally sent our paperwork to China! It is on it's way as we speak! This is the point where we would say we are "DTC" which stands for "Dossier to China". There were quite a few days where we didn't think it would happen. On Monday morning, Russ called our agency to verify that everything was ready to go, because we knew they would be sending the next batch of dossiers this week. We knew our paperwork had been certified, authenticated, and was sitting at the agency being reviewed. Our fees were paid. Our homestudy was done and we had completed the educational aspect. Instead of finding out that everything was ready to be sent, we were told that, no, we were still missing some documents. How could this be?! I thought we had sent them every last copy of anything we could possibly have. I was beginning to wonder if they wouldn't also want a copy of my 5th grade science award certificate and a urine sample. No, they actually were missing "supportive documentation from our homestudy". In other words, the agency who did our homestudy sent them a copy of the write up and nothing else. We had two days to gather everything. Russ took Tuesday off work, and by that evening, everything was being Fedex'd overnight to our Texas agency. Finally, we received word from the agency that our paperwork was on it's way to China with everyone else's. Thank you, God.
I know everyone has a different opinion about this whole thing. For some, they complain about how long it is taking, and I know it is long. For others, they are wowed by how fast it is all going, and I can see that as well. The truth is, some days, it feels like forever. And others, I'm very grateful that it is so much shorter that our original thought. And every day, I'm thankful that we keep going and there is a little guy on the other side of the world waiting for us and we'll be meeting him soon.

Closer yet

It's four o'clock in the afternoon and my dog is sitting expectantly in front of the door. It's still a little bit early, but soon we will start getting our trick-or-treaters, and then he'll have some fun. Actually, this is his first Halloween, so I don't think he really knows what's coming tonight. He's going to be so excited to see everyone come to the door. Sometimes, I think I sound like a parent when I talk about my dog. He's the only child that I really have at this point in time, although, our paperwork for Caleb is coming along. Last week, we took all of our documents that we have been gathering for the last seven months and went to the office of the Secretary of State at the capitol building. Here's a side note: has anyone been to the capitol building recently, or at least since the 3rd grade? It's amazingly spooky and dark in there. The halls are very dim and everything echoes. All the doors are closed and, from the outside, look like any number of entrances to some other realm beyond. And then, you open a door and it is totally different on the inside: big and bright, cheery, even. Anyway, I went to the office of the Secretary of State and had all of our documents certified. They were then sent to Washington DC to the Chinese consulate to be authenticated. I took them to our local Fedex drop-off point and, let me tell you, it was difficult to see our envelope of all of our work over the past several months, now certified, being placed on a pile of other packages that were being sent, too. I watched the man put it there, and then I had to leave them at the store. All of our work. I was so worried, after everything we'd done! I never imagined I would be so nervous about it. But, it arrived in DC and was supposed to be completed and sent on to our agency today. Hopefully, it will all be mailed out November 9th, and then we can get started waiting for the next thing. Eventually, the next thing will actually be going to China, but unfortunately we are not there just yet. But, we're closer.....

What's happening?

I've had quite a few people approach me with this same question: "so...have you heard anything about your adoption yet?" I know that it is very well meaning, and people are excited, and I truly appreciate that. Most of the time, though, I have to answer, "Nope! Not yet!" with a smile on my face, like it isn't bothering me at all. I tend to tell people that we are still "just waiting" as if absolutely nothing is happening with it. The truth is, there is plenty happening, it just isn't in the form of new video footage, updates, and pictures that everyone expects.
First of all, we bought a crib. We've been looking for cribs and attempting to educate ourselves in this area. You would think that being a pediatric/nursery nurse for almost 8 years might have given me a clue, but it isn't true, so some research has been involved. Also, not knowing exactly how old Caleb will be when he comes home makes things a little more tricky. Will he be sleeping in a crib? Will he be ready to move to a toddler bed within a month of arrival? And who knows...if this whole thing keeps going, he could be a 5 year old by the time he finally gets here. We decided to go with a 3-in-1 crib: it's a crib, or it's a toddler bed, or it's a full size bed, all in one. After all of the looking, pricing, and negotiating, believe me when I tell you that he will have this bed for life. It's not just a crib, it's an investment. I expect Caleb to sleep in this bed the entire time that he lives under our roof, take a short break from it when he goes off to college, and then come back for it to move it into his first apartment. That's how long this bed is going to be around. And, we really do like it, too, so that's a good thing.
I've posted a picture of the model that we bought.


Another major thing that has happened is that we have officially heard back from China about our initial set of paperwork. This is our pre-approval (PA), which came 2 weeks ago. It is the go-ahead for the sending of our dossier. It is a very exciting step for us! As of this writing, we are very much hoping to send our dossier soon. We actually would have sent it already if we could have, but there has been some delays with paperwork. Apparently, some pertinent information had not been turned in when we completed our homestudy in May. So, we have been really trying to work with our agencies about getting all of the necessary stuff completed. At the risk of sounding negative, let me just say that it has been so time consuming/complicated/fist-clenchingly frustrating that it may have been easier to just redo the whole thing. I haven't wanted to go into all of the details in order to try and stay positive about the whole thing, but I can say that it is finally done (I think).

So, I really can say that stuff has been happening. I know it isn't the most exciting information, but it is part of the process. A pregnancy certainly cannot be so exciting every day either, so I don't feel bad at all. And as far as my complaints about the paperwork process go, I still wouldn't trade it for weight gain, morning sickness, backaches, etc., any day.

Happy Anniversary!

Three years ago today, I said "I do" to the man of my dreams. A house, a pending adoption, and a beagle later...we're still around. Russ and I actually got engaged on a trip to Boston, at a restaurant called Five North Square. Our engagement period was six months long, and the last three were some of the most stressful to me ever. Not because of wedding planning or anything. It was more things like: moving, cockroaches, a broken wrist, surgery, another surgery, a car accident, etc. I actually recall breaking down into tears once after a Sunday school class when someone casually asked me how I was. Little did they know!
Our wedding day was wonderful. It was a very happy time for us. We took our honeymoon in Banff, Canada, and it's been happily ever after ever since. Sometimes, when I feel like this whole adoption thing is going to be the end of my sanity, I think back to another time when I was so stressed--a little more than three years ago. But after our wedding day, all of the troubles of the engagement period were forgotten. And so I'm hoping it will be the same with this. Here's to adding on to our family...and forgetting all the stress and junk to get there.
Happy Anniversary!

Somewhere, inside, I'm still a nurse

I'm really struggling with this new job. I don't think I ever appreciated how organized the hospital that I've been working at has been. I say this because I'm actually shocked at the level of disorganization that I face almost daily at my new job, from the human resources level. Human resources should mean that they work with humans, ie., me. I frequently speak on the phone with someone from their office in order to try and clear up something else that isn't working. For instance, getting paid. Yet, it doesn't seem like they know how to deal with humans because they seem to treat me like I don't really exist at all. It is very easy to be passed along to 3 or 4 more people until you reach someone who knows what you are even talking about and who can assist you. Maybe this is just the real world of working during the day and I just have to deal with it. Fine.

My other issue about this job is that I didn't get a heck of a lot of orientation. So I spend much of my time trying to figure out what it is that I should be doing, asking a lot of basic questions, and making phone calls. When I started, I was sort of put on my own with instructions to "just call if you need anything!" but I'm not really sure what I need. This I keep finding out along the way. I'm pretty sure most people do not go through life just knowing, off hand, how to do an MDT, an SAP, and put those in the student's IHP. Somewhere, I've missed out on all of this and I'm learning as I go, and most days I feel, not like a nurse, but just some dummy who is in the office for the day. I try to remind myself that, no, I'm actually a nurse. I try to remember some of the things I was able to do for a living at my last job: save lives, fly in helicopters, witness a new life being born, etc. I'm really not so dumb as I am probably coming across, and I would like to shout it out to the people I work with, or at least send a memo about it.

This past weekend, we were able to spend time with our good friends, Greg and Carmen. G & C came to visit us because they had a weekend off and they don't actually live in our town. We went to Red Robin (yum) and I had my usual Royal Burger: basically one of their burgers with bacon and cheese, but they also put a fried egg on it. As I said, yum. I've tried to make this on my own at home, but it isn't the same. They also brought the home game of Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader? I figured out after playing that, I'm not. I missed a lot of questions! Although, I was feeling good about answering what kind of a baby has a horse for a mother and a zebra for a father? Answer: a zorse. (Unlike a hebra, which was my 2nd choice). Anyway, it was fun, and you know, the good friend thing. Could my trouble at work have anything to do with not being smarter than a 5th grader? I wonder if they are related. Somehow, I doubt it.

Happy Birthday to Wu

Saturday, the first day of Labor Day weekend. And it's September! That might imply some upcoming cooler weather, but it's supposed to be 90 all weekend. Our house projects are continuing to keep us busy, and we seem to be taking on more than we are finishing. So, this will really be a laboring weekend because we have so much work to do. In fact, while I'm still sitting here typing this in my pajamas, Russ is outside moving concrete from our front step.
Thursday was our little guy's birthday. He's one! In celebration, we went out for Chinese food and had birthday cake and ice cream. I think I actually felt a little sad, because he's not here with us. Most kids have a first birthday party with their parents and it is, many times, a big deal. So it seemed a little abnormal to being having the party without the kid. Ok, but what part of all of this has been normal?

Last Thursday, some of my co-workers threw me a "toddler" shower. It was so sweet! I really was overwhelmed by their generosity toward us, and, like us, acting on faith that this little boy will someday come and be part of our family. So now, we have a lot of toys, clothes, and books waiting for him. I had to take a picture of some of my favorite things that we received. Russ and I also bought him something for his birthday, although we are not allowed to send it until after our dossier has been sent to China. We bought him a little stuffed beagle, which we can hopefully send soon. I hope he likes it--and then when he comes home he can meet the real thing!
We have also decided on a name! We've actually been asked about this numerous times. It is only second to "so, have you found out when you are getting him?" Well, at least I can have an answer to the first question. His name is going to be Caleb Wu Lee Brannagan. Caleb means "bold" and he is named after the Caleb of the Bible, who remained faithful to God. And while we had always been planning to use a Chinese middle name, it wasn't always going to be Wu. But we kept it because, hey, that's all we've been calling him these past weeks. We couldn't let it go. "Lee" is the middle name of Russ, his dad, and my dad, and we like it, so we had to use it. So that's the official name, and now I just have to get used to calling him something else while we wait.
So, Caleb, happy birthday, buddy.

A new lip!

I'm so excited because we have been continuing to receive good news about Wu and our process continues to move ahead. First, we received notice from the Department of Homeland Security that we passed our fingerprint requirements and they've accepted our petition. So, we really aren't felons who are trying to bring an infant into the U.S.! Secondly, just today our agency notified us that our letter of intent (LOI) is on it's way to Beijing and we can track it through DHL. We are now on our way to completing our dossier paperwork so it can hopefully be sent as soon as we hear back about our LOI (fingers crossed). But, the biggest and most exciting news (well, to us anyway) is that yesterday we received an email with updated pictures of Wu! He so big! And, his lip has been fixed! I was very surprised. First off, we weren't really expecting anymore pictures of him at all, let alone so soon. And, we were arranging for him to have his first surgery on his lip when we brought him home. But it has been done now! I'm thrilled, and I think they did a great job, too! So, our boy is growing and changing, and in 9 days he will turn one. Kind of weird to think that I have a one year old out there.

Moving Foward Full Force

I can't really say what I've been doing for the past two weeks because there has been so much that I've almost been overwhelmed. To be brief: processing an adoption, starting a new job while still working at the old one, and house projects.
The next step toward Wu has been completed. Actually, there have been two steps. We went to our local Department of Homeland Security about 10 days ago to be fingerprinted so we can be deemed acceptable to bring an orphan into the country. I may have mentioned that we filed this petition in May and have been waiting for our fingerprint appointment for several weeks. Fortunately, the waiting part was pre-Wu, so we were able to get it done first. If we were trying to file/get fingerprinted now, the process would have set us back a couple of months more. We also sent our first set of paperwork to the agency to be translated before being sent on to China. This included our Letter of Intent (LOI) as well as some other documents. When it is sent to China, our agency will Fedex it, so we can track it's arrival. At that point, we wait to hear back from them so we can move on to the next step, which is...more paperwork. Does this sound repetitive? That's what a lot of it is about, though. Hopefully, we will hear back about our LOI in less than a month.
I started orientation for my new job last week. It's been a lot of policy review and learning the computer system. If I can remember a lot of this stuff and give myself time to adjust, I think I will really like it. The only part that made me nervous was this: my orientation class was for all new healthcare staff, not just nurses. In fact, I was the only one who was an RN and going to be a school nurse. Everyone else in the class was a technician or a subsititute. I'm not knocking the work that they do. But during the class, it was repeatedly stressed to everyone that if they get into any kind of situation where they don't know what to do (angry parent, someone bleeding profusely, a drunk student, etc) they should just call the nurse. It was said, again and again, call the nurse. The nurse will know what to do. She will fix it. I finally raised my hand and pointed out that I was the nurse. What do I do? I am a little nervous about being in charge of something that I currently don't know much about. I guess I will just have to learn.
Through all of this we have also been working on home projects. It's not like we really even have time for this, but we do it anyway because we are crazy. A couple of weekends ago, we decided to paint the exterior of our house. A very good idea, since it has been a dull brown for two years (and most likely, much longer than that). And, last weekend, we helped my in-laws move into their lovely new home. It was quite a job.
There were many knicknacks involved. Oh, and did I mention they like lawn ornaments?

In all, we got through it and we got some beer and pizza out of the deal. Isn't that what families are for? We were still happy and tired at the end of the day.