Summertime

Well, Monday was my last day of work for the summer, so I'm off for the next two and a half months. It's a definite perk of working for the public school system. We're already feeling the hot, humid weather around here, complete with thunderstorms. A few days ago, I woke up to find what looked like a moderately sized tree in our side yard. It turned out to be a very large branch that had snapped off of the neighbors tree during the previous night's storm and was lying across the corner of their roof, taking up most of their yard, and part of ours. Caleb is doing great. He had a great time staying with my parents during the days that I was at school. We've got some plans lined up for the summer, but no big vacations or trips at this point (going to China was probably enough traveling for one year, I think). The next several days, though, we are busy with appointments. Tomorrow, we will have our first post-placement visit with the social worker. I'm not really nervous about it, except for maybe the behavior of our dog. He just gets a little too excited to see people sometimes. This social worker will be the same one who did our homestudy and visited us here a year ago. We were pretty nervous back then because we thought she had the power to make or break this adoption. In retrospect, it wasn't too bad at all. And this time....well, considering Caleb is now home, I don't think we have much to worry about.

Friday, we have a meeting with the craniofacial team at Boystown Research Hospital. The team consists of a plastic surgeon, an oral surgeon, audiologist, ENT doctor, speech therapist, nurses, and probably a few other people that I'm forgetting. Since a cleft lip and palate can affect several different functions, all of these will need to be evaluated and then a plan will be drawn up. We should be able to have his first surgery (palate repair) sometime this summer. So, that will be another part of our summer plans. While I'm not looking forward to seeing my little guy deal with post-op pain/recovery, it will be great to have it done. And, we won't have so much food coming out of his nose as often!

Here's a story related to his open palate: he doesn't really have the capacity to suck when drinking, so every time we get a sippy cup, we take the valve out so that he can just drink out of it. Recently, someone gave us some new-fangled ones that he really likes (complete with pictures of Lightning McQueen on them) though they don't have a valve. I don't know what it is....just a different kind of opening. Well, I put some milk in one and gave it to him to see if he could use it and I saw some milk in his mouth, so I figured hey, it works! Later in the day, we went to lunch at Chipotle. My friend Kris was putting green tabasco on her burrito and Caleb kept reaching for the bottle. He really wanted that tabasco. So Kris put a small drop on the end of his finger and let him try it. His eyes teared up, his face was red, he didn't know what to think. She offered him his sippy cup and he grabbed it and drank. It wasn't until we were home, several hours later, that I went to refill it. It was still full. Turns out, he wasn't really able to get much out of it at all. I felt terrible!! No wonder he was frantically trying to eat ice out of one of our empty cups at lunch. Once I switched it out, he guzzled two full cups. Poor thing!

In spite of that, he really is doing well, and we're looking forward to summer. We already have a toddler sized swimming pool that hasn't even made it to our backyard yet. Someone gave it to us as a gift and it is currently inflated and sitting in our living room. Caleb is excited even just having it like that--wait until he sees what it is really used for! I'm excited for his to have his first summer here and experience all the stuff that goes with it!

"Just around the corner"

I went back to work this week. Overall, it's been good, even if it's only been a day and a half. Caleb has been going to my parent's house during the day and we will keep this up until the end of the school year, which is only about 3 weeks away. He's doing great with it, overall. I think I worried a little in the beginning because I wasn't sure how it would go. But, we had a couple of practice days while I was off, where we went and spent most of the day there and he could take a nap. My parents live in the country, so the whole farm thing is also a big draw. The tractors and the riding lawn mower are parked at the top of the hill from the house. Every day that we pull in the driveway, the pointing/grunting begins before we are even out of the car. Tractors! We let him sit in the tractor with my dad, which was a big treat for him.

This time off has gone amazingly fast, and before I knew it, I was driving to work on Wednesday morning. As many already know, this job has been a little questionable for me this past year. While I have really enjoyed the schedule (and I would continue to enjoy that for, well, forever), the actual job itself hasn't been as great as I had hoped. Oh well, we live and learn. I was driving to work--alone in the car for the first time in weeks, and it suddenly seemed strange--and I was thinking about all of the real reasons I was at this job for the past year. Looking back, when I was hired, it was for a one-year-only contract: a fact I was disappointed about in the beginning. Now, I am grateful that when my year is up, I'm done. But in the past year, I've gotten to enjoy my weekends off, sleeping at night, eating breakfast routine that I once gushed about in a previous post. It still holds true. I've also learned a lot about the public school system, and now that I have a child, I am a little more aware of current and future opportunities that are out there. And, I've met some really neat people, some of whom I could even call friends (!). So, I will try to enjoy my last three weeks, knowing that it is almost over. And yet....I somehow couldn't manage to get through the year without having to do the school nurse "talk" to the fourth and fifth graders. The PC/somewhat misleading and vague term for it is called "Growth and Development" class. In other words, puberty. I've been off work for 8 weeks, I go back for the last 3 weeks of the school year, and I still have this squeezed into my schedule. The teachers have deflected to me: they are so uncomfortable with it that they schedule it for the last couple of weeks of school, on a Friday, the last hour of the day. That way, they can have the school nurse do the talking, the bell rings, and they send the kids home for the weekend where they can ask their parents the embarassing questions. And what does the school nurse do? This particular one took the easy way out and checked out educational videos from the district office that will do the talking for her, appropriately called "Just Around the Corner". Here's what you can expect, kids. Watch this video to learn how you will be changing soon, it's just around the corner! Now, if you have any questions, be sure you ask your mom and dad!

Okay, so I'm not copping out that much. I will do some talking, as uncomfortable as it may be. Actually, being a nurse, I can honestly say that I've seen more than an average person's share of uncomfortable things, and this class ranks kind of low. But I did check out the videos.... hey, whatever works, right?

It's the end of the world as we know it

So this is what life has become: an REM song. I've become aware that the life that I have always known is pretty much over. Not that I had this most exciting, out-there life to begin with, but, you know, it was mine. I knew that things would be different, and, after waiting for so long, I expected to feel happy and excited, which I do. But what I wasn't prepared for was this unexpected sense of grief. Where could this be coming from? Probably the fact that I've spent thirty-odd years doing my own thing and suddenly (or, not so suddenly, depending on how you view the timing), my own thing is not mine anymore. I've realized the dramatic change is sometimes tiring, sometimes wonderful. But, I have noticed the change.

1. Time alone. For an introvert, this is a tough one. I like my time alone. Someone said to me recently that the first child is the hardest because you are used to your time alone and then it is gone. Subsequent children are a little easier because, by then, you are used to not having much to yourself anymore. Ok, note taken.

2. Social activities. Russ and I went to a birthday party a couple of nights ago and we found ourselves going over our plans ahead of time: we stick together and neither one of us is left alone with Caleb to chase him around, and we only stay for 30 minutes, tops. I also found myself re-telling the same story to two people who politely pretended that they hadn't heard it before. Is it true that I now have run out of things to talk about so that I am repeating myself?

3. The quiet. It doesn't exist anymore, except maybe during nap time. The constant din that goes on around our house has been one of the toughest things to get used to. I like quiet. I knew toddlers were noisy, but I didn't realize the amount of screeching, babbling, barking, "Old McDonald" songs I would be hearing on an hourly basis. In addition, I also didn't realize how much giggling, singing, and general levels of cuteness that would be taking place either.

We've been opening toys little by little to avoid some of the "Disneyland syndrome" that adopted kids can face. We broke out this little rider, which Russ and I loved, but I don't think Caleb really knew what to do with it. After sitting him on it, he managed to push himself around a little, tentatively, at least.

Caleb found one of those musical cards that plays a song when it is opened. He thought it was so funny to open and close it over and over to stop and start the song, which in this case was the theme song from "Dallas".

Overall, Caleb is adjusting very nicely. Whenever I feel like complaining about how much things have changed, I have to consider what he must be thinking. He was once living in a foster home in China before some people showed up one day and literally took him to the other side of the world. Talk about change. We have a book called "Caleb Crosses the Country" that we read at bedtime each night. It's about a camel named Caleb who was afraid to travel, but he learns that God can use anybody, even if we are afraid. Every night that we read it, it reminds me of how brave my little boy is. I'm so proud of him.

My 2 Sons

Well, now that we have been home for 2 1/2 weeks, we are falling into something that resembles a routine. I'm a little more aware now of what is going on because the jet lag haze is over, although some amounts of sleep deprivation remain, a fact that will not change until, well, retirement? I don't know.

When we were planning to bring Caleb home and waiting all those months, we still had Owen during that time. He was our only "child" so to speak, and got most of our attention. When I thought ahead to when Caleb would be here, I worried that Owen would be impatient or somehow another personality would emerge and he would be snippy with Caleb. I worried that Caleb wouldn't like Owen and be afraid of him. Not true in either case. Caleb loves Owen and Owen willingly puts up with the near-constant hugs, being sat on, having his tail pulled, etc. But something else has shown up and I'm not sure what to do. Owen seems to be having a "jealous older-brother" syndrome going on. Every time we play with Caleb, Owen is right there--bringing a toy for us to throw for him or sniffing around into something he isn't supposed to be. Most of Caleb's toys are off-limits for Owen, simply because he tends to chew everything in sight if you don't stop him. Stuffed animals, in particular, are the victims. So, I spend much of my time taking things away from Owen. Probably about the same amount of time I spend running after Caleb. I now have two toddlers in the house!

I might add that we have been trying to give Owen a lot of attention as well, so he doesn't feel quite so snubbed. And, the other day, our sweet neighbors brought over a "new baby" gift for Caleb, and the next day, they came back with a new toy for Owen, too. He's all right now.

We're home!

It is so good to be home.  I don't think I was aware of how much I really wanted to come back until we actually arrived at our house.  I'm sure that it could have also been partly because of our very long trip to get here.  Thankfully, it is over now.  A brief synopsis:

      Get up at 4am to fly from Guangzhou to Beijing.  It's a 3 hour flight that Caleb sleeps through. 4 hour layover in Beijing that I thought would be long and boring, but was actually spent with another adoptive family, trying only to find terminal 2.  We manage to make it onto the 2nd flight, Beijing to Newark.  It's a 13 hour flight and Caleb barely sleeps at all.  Besides being incredibly long, it's not exactly dull.  There is vomiting, tears, an argument between 2 passengers across the aisle from us that required flight attendant intervention, me trying to clean up the floor of the airplane restroom because Caleb peed everywhere, more tears (by me), and a request by the airline staff for help from any medical personnel on the flight because someone was ill.  I volunteered after I realized no one else was saying anything.  I should have mentioned right away that I was a pediatric nurse, so I wasn't sure how much I could do.  The whole time, I kept thinking, "what if they have to land the plane?  Where are we going to land? We're flying over the North Pole!"  Fortunately, I was trumped by a Chinese doctor on board and didn't have to do anything.  We arrive in Newark and spend almost 3 hours standing in line, going through customs, finding and rechecking our luggage, etc.  At this point, I am aware that I have limits to what I can endure while traveling, and I believe I have reached it.  But we still had another flight ahead: Newark to Omaha, 3 more hours.  Caleb and Russ sleep and it is peaceful.  We arrive at the airport and are greeted by both my family and Russ' family.  I happily go to bed at 3am, so relieved that it is all over.

Caleb is adjusting nicely to home, although to him, it may just be one more place that he'll stay with us for a little while before moving on.  It's the 3rd bed he's slept in since he's been with us.  The sleeping thing is probably the biggest issue, as we are all still jet lagged, and he really doesn't appreciate the crib yet.  Getting to sleep is OK.  Staying asleep is another story entirely. Sometimes, he just sleeps wherever, I guess.

We went to visit my parents the next day to meet the rest of my family.  We were also reunited with Owen.  It was so good to see him!  He stayed with my parents and probably became somewhat of a spoiled granddog, but that's OK, I suppose.  I wasn't sure how Caleb was going to react to him, but it was all right.  He was a little shy at first, but by the next day, he was totally infatuated with Owen, and wanted to feed him.  The feeling wasn't exactly mutual.  Owen merely tolerated Caleb for a while, but then, after being hand-fed his breakfast for 45 minutes, he really warmed up.

Russ goes back to work tomorrow, so I will be on my own all day.  I hope I can handle it.  We have a doctor appointment on Friday where we'll do the initial visit/workup thing and then see about making plans for Caleb's palate repair.  I think they did an amazing job on his lip already, so hopefully the palate repair will go just as well.

We've been receiving a lot of phone calls and well wishes from family and friends and we really appreciate all of the support that has been given.  Our dear friends even left a full refrigerator for us to find when we got home.  We walked in the door to find fruit, snacks, meat, milk, and even diapers.  It was great!  We are so thankful to be home, see everyone, and know that so many have been following our journey along the way.

From China...part 2

It's hard to believe that we go home the day after tomorrow. In so many ways, I am ready. It will be nice to stop living out of a suitcase and settle back into life at home. I can't wait to see everybody and have them meet our son.

More pictures from this past week:

This is from the area we were in last week, or closer to the area where Caleb is from. We traveled to Wuwei for a day to see his orphanage and I took this along the way.

Caleb says good-bye to a stuffed figure in the lobby of our hotel in Lanzhou. The day before we left, these large figures showed up, promoting the 2008 Beijing Olympics.

Just this evening, I was talking with another mom of a cleft child about being overprepared for this. It's true: I was expecting to have to mash his food or break out a blender to puree everything for him. But the truth is, the kid eats everything you put in front of him. What I didn't need were the special cleft bottles, Nuk nursers, and Playtex liners. I also threw one sippy cup into the suitcase before we left. It's the only thing he will drink out of at all, so it gets washed repeatedly (someone pointed out that sippy cups are made in China, but not used here). Yeah, it's the only one I've got. The other bottles, well, someone in the orphanage will hopefully now get good use out of them as they've been donated to a better cause.

We arrived in Guangzhou late Friday night and it is so different from the Gansu province that we came from. For one thing, it's humid. It actually rains at times. We spent Easter Sunday outside with the rest of the town because it was such a nice day.

Today we had a meeting with all of the families at the White Swan hotel (kind of the "main" hotel in this town where a lot of adoptive parents stay) to go over what was happening at the consulate in preparation for our return home. All of our paperwork was approved without any issues, and tomorrow there will be a swearing-in ceremony. Caleb will receive his visa and will officially become a US citizen when the plane lands. The tradition here is to take a picture of the babies on the famous "red couch" of the hotel (ok, maybe just famous in the China adoption realm). The kids can be dressed in traditional Chinese attire, so we found a regal little suit for Caleb to wear.

We'll be coming home soon everybody! See you then!

Gotcha!

Ni hao?!

Our little guy is here!

We've actually been with him a week now, but due to internet issues and first-time parenting, I've not been able to post anything. We arrived in Guangzhou last night after spending 6 days in Lanzhou, which is Caleb's province.

We had toured Beijing for a couple of days and on Sunday, flew to Lanzhou, about a 2 hour flight. Our plan was to get settled in to our hotel and we would meet the babies on Monday at the civil affairs office. That was our first mistake: we actually planned something. Things never seem to go as planned, do they? After arriving in Lanzhou and getting off the plane, getting our bags, meeting our guide, and getting on the bus, we headed for our hotel. As soon as the bus started, our guide told us that we would not be meeting the babies on Monday. Instead, our Gotcha day was to be that day instead! They would be brought to our hotel sometime around 3pm. I looked at the clock: 1:30, with an hour drive ahead of us to the hotel. We would just be getting there and our kids would arrive soon after! Russ and I were a little stunned, to say the least:

After recovering from the initial shock, panic set in. How many gifts for the officials do we bring? Which suitcase did we pack them in? What toys should we bring with us to the meeting room? What paperwork is necessary?

We reached the hotel and ran to our rooms to put gifts together and gather stuff we needed. I was so nervous! It was a strange thought that Caleb was so close by, he's always been there in pictures and dreams, but now to meet him in person! I wondered what his personality would be like, would he be traumatized by everything? Will he like us? The questions were endless in my mind. We went to the designated meeting room where the other families were waiting, too. After a few moments, a man came in and announced that the babies had arrived. The nannies came into the room with the kids, and I saw Caleb right away. I saw those eyes...straight out of his pictures. He was smaller than I imagined. He looked little and vulnerable, clinging to his nanny and looking around at everyone. We were so excited. The nannies took the kids and sat with them on their laps for a few minutes, since none of them seemed to eager to go straight to their new parents. Everyone was a little shy at first, and then, my little boy jumped down from his nanny's lap and toddled toward the waiting group with a smile on his face! He was so friendly, and so busy, just into everything in that room while we spent a few minutes getting to know him and signing papers.

The next day, we went to the civil affairs office to finish the paper work and he is officially ours! I guess we can't send him back now, huh? Who would want to? This little guy has so much personality and spunk. It is a lot of energy to keep up with, but he's doing great!

So, we have spent the last week in Lanzhou at the hotel and around the town some, getting used to being a family. It is very strange, the mix of culture and humanity in this country. It is unlike anything I've ever been exposed to. While driving, in one lane of traffic there is a rickshaw, right next to a Land Rover. Street markets have vendors selling traditional food, clothing, and spices sitting outside a coffee shop with an internet cafe. The architecture of one building on the street will have traditional/ancient Chinese decor and it will be next to a hotel covered in Vegas-style lights. Very interesting, all of it.

We spent a day travelling to see the orphanage were Caleb is from. Even though he was in foster care for much of his life, he still was closely associated with the orphanage in his hometown and probably went back at least once a month for a check up. The orphanage was four hours from Lanzhou, and when we arrived, we were warmly welcomed. We felt very honored to be there, as there are not very many families who return to visit. We had lunch with the directors and were able to tour the grounds and see some of the kids. It was very emotional. The assistant director took us to the very spot where Caleb was found as a newborn, on a road near the orphanage. She was actually the very person who found him. What an honor to be able to meet her! It's so strange to think back to that day, only 18 months ago. I remember what I was doing during that time, and it was not planning to go to China to adopt a little boy. It's amazing to think that God knew, even on that very day, that we would one day be standing in that spot.

There is so much more to say, so I'll have to keep adding posts and pictures. We are excited to come home, but we are here until Thursday, finishing up the consulate stuff. Tomorrow we are going to take more pictures of Guangzhou, which is entirely different from where we just came from.

Take care everyone!

From China...

So, we've made it here. As I write this, we are sitting in an internet cafe on the streets of Beijing. We arrived after about 24 hours of travel--I guess a couple days ago, it's hard to tell, really. I think it was Thursday afternoon. We're about 13 hours ahead of home, CDT. Our flight was looooong, but we arrived safely. I think I watched Enchanted at least 3 times, as it was one of the only in-flight movies available. Not bad.

There are three other families with us, which is great. These are families that are adopting through our agency, and we have been communicating with some of them since we have been DTC. Two of the families are here on their 2nd adoption, and we've gotten some great advice on this whole thing. There is so much that can be unexpected that I appreciate any help that I can get.

Highlights: yesterday, we walked past Tiananmen Square but were not able to go closer than across the street, as it is not open to the public at this time. We walked through the Forbidden City, which is enormous. Quite a bit of history there. I think one of the best parts of the day was taking a rickshaw into the hutong neighborhood, which is an older area of homes throughout some narrow streets and alleys (actually, the rickshaw ride was cool, but the driving here overall is, uh, uncomfortably close). Anyway, we took a rickshaw to a local family's home for lunch, which was delicious. We enjoyed meeting the local people in addition to doing all of the "touristy" things.

Today we visited a jade factory where I think a clerk was hitting on me. He was actually just trying to make a sale, I'm sure. I think the line went something like, "you look like an actress I saw in a movie this weekend, uh, I can't remember her name, though. You're beautiful," until Russ pointed out that I was his wife. He replied "you are very handsome, too!" He got the sale.

We also went to the Great Wall, which was amazing. My legs are still feeling the climb, but it was so worth it!

It is such a fascinating place to be: the people, the food, the culture in general is so very different to that which we are accustomed to. I am trying to soak much of it in so that we will be able to relay this someday to our son.

Speaking of our son, we meet him the day after tomorrow! Tomorrow we will fly to Lanzhou, about 700 miles from here. We are scheduled to actually meet him on Monday, but have been told to prepare for anything. He could be brought to the hotel tomorrow after we arrive, who knows.

I am going to attempt to add some pictures here, but I don't know if it will work. I'm actually unable to see the entry after it has been posted, so we'll see what happens. Here goes!Russ at the Forbidden City

Rickshaw ride

The Great Wall!

Yesssss!

I used to be pretty good at filling everyone in of what's been going on. But then, a few months ago, there was more to say. We had milestones and we made progress. The past couple of months have been mostly just waiting with not much new to report.
Until....
this week!
We received our travel approval this week! We are going! And, we're going soon! Suddenly, I don't feel ready. How can that be? Haven't I had more than enough time to prepare for this? It's true that things have been coming together, but it still feels like some things are still....out there. Unfinished. Incomplete. And they probably will never get done until absolutely necessary. I will still be reading parenting books on the plane ride over.
Here's what I think I'm mostly nervous about: he's a toddler. I can't escape some of the irony of the fact that I've spent 8 years working as a nurse for newborns, and yet I'm not getting one. I'm getting someone who is beyond my stage of understanding. I mean, I'm not totally clueless, but what exactly do toddlers do? I babysat my niece last week, who is a year older than Caleb, and it wasn't too bad. We put together the same puzzle 3 times. She helped me feed Owen, and then, when those first 12 minutes were over, we went to Home Depot because I didn't know what else to do. We spent a great deal of time checking out the carpet samples there and opening and closing every single drawer in the kitchen cabinet department seemed very entertaining. Is this my future?
It's going to be OK. As much as I have nerves, I also have a ton of excitement. And, of course, love for my little guy who I haven't even met yet. Life is seriously going to change. So what?


P.S. When I said we were leaving soon, I meant to say March 12th. As in, like, 12 days from today. I think I forgot to mention that part.

The wait goes on...

Guest author: Russ
I am not much of a writer, so I'll make it brief.
The long winter continues.
We are still awaiting final travel approval from China.
The wait is getting tougher. The anticipation grows.

Below are lyrics to a song by Chris Rice that reflects our hearts right now.

Cause I just wanna be with You
I just want this waiting to be over
I just want to be with You
And it helps to know the Day is getting closer

Every minute takes an hour
Every inch feels like a mile
Til I won't have to imagine
And I finally get to see You smile