Happy Birthday!

Three years ago today, a woman in China was headed off to work in the morning.  She took the road that leads up to the back of the orphanage where she worked.  There along the road, placed so he would be seen, was a small Bundle of Joy who was 1 day old.  He was wrapped in a red cotton jacket and swaddled in a quilt.  The woman picked him up and took him with her to her job at the orphanage, where she knew he would be well cared for.

The woman's name is Zhao Shu Ping, and the little package she found was our little Caleb at one day old, waiting there to be found.

Caleb turned three yesterday.  He is currently playing with a new toy rescue station that he got as a gift, and he and his dad are putting it together.  He's been going to preschool for the last week and it's been going very well (although just today I learned that he had to sit in the Safe Chair because he was hitting other students....).  I'm still amazed all the time at what a great kid he is.  We couldn't have known what we were in for....yet he is so happy and thriving now.

I'm so thankful for that Hand that stayed with him while he sat there on that road 3 years ago.  A vulnerable newborn that could have been found by anyone, but he went to the right place.  

It may have been his birthday yesterday, but Russ and I are the ones who got the best gift.

We are DTC

There has been an amazing turn of events in the last few days regarding our paperwork.  Let me pose a question here: does anyone believe that acting faithfully toward something ends up producing positive results?  For instance, I was debating my post about our new son, Li.  Specifically, I was wondering whether I should post at all or wait longer, say, closer to the time that our paperwork got to China.  At least I could say that we were that much closer to this little boy.  But, I didn't wait.  Even as I wrote it, our paperwork sat in Washington DC (or so I believed), but I assumed it would move.  I told our news anyway, hoping that said paperwork would be moving soon.  I published the post, went to a birthday party, and didn't think about it for several hours.  At 10pm, I decided to check Fedex (not obsessively at all) to see if it was all still sitting at the Chinese embassy in Washington DC.  Before my eyes....I saw, no it was not! It was being sent back to Oregon where our agency is located.  The next day, Oregon notified us that our paperwork would be on it's way to China on Friday, August 14th.  Yesterday.  We are DTC.

DTC stands for "Dossier to China", the "dossier" being another fancy word for paperwork.  Stuff we have gathered for 6 months.  Stuff that was signed, notarized, copied, certified, authenticated, etc, etc, etc.  Replaceable, yes, but not without another significant amount of work.  Not without making our new son wait even further while we fixed things.  So, thankfully, thankfully, we can say we are DTC!  Now what?  Oh yeah, we continue to wait.  More news will be added when it comes, I guess.

On another note, I found myself in a situation a couple of days ago where I had to stop and consider my own behavior.  I don't mind doing this, except sometimes it makes me feel bad because I realize that I was probably not acting the best.  Anyway, Caleb and I went to the bank to deposit some money and it was a different branch than I had been to before, as we were on the other side of town.  While the woman behind the counter was processing the transaction, she said to me, "do you mind if I ask you something?  Is he yours?"  (Referring to Caleb).  For anyone who has read past posts-- I  have mentioned situations about people putting their feet in their mouths, or maybe just being plain rude about this.  There have been multiple interactions that I have never mentioned at all.  So, politely or not, when someone asks me such a question, it gets my hackles raised.  I can't help it.  So, I answered "uh, yeah," in a semi-snotty/not that friendly of a way.  Already defensive.  And she answered, "oh!  I was just wondering because I have 4 adopted children from Korea!"  And then she proceeded to ask me about our agency, gave me information about a local group specifically for adopted kids and their families, etc, etc, while I halfway hung my head in shame.  The truth is, sometimes, I am simply a big, fat jerk. Sometimes, people just ask because they care or they have something in common.  Sometimes, people are just being NICE.  Quite a concept, I know.  

So, from now on, I'm going to be trying a little harder to give the benefit of the doubt.  Get over my extra sensitivity to a subject that isn't always a big deal.  Remember that many people are very nice.  (But still keep my handy comebacks, just in case).

And, speaking of nice, we are so appreciative of all the kind words and good wishes received from everyone about this process and our boys.  Thank you!  It means a lot to us that so many people care and are there to show their support in this.  And I will be happy to respond in a very positive way back by showing pictures and continuing to write about it all.  All in a very nice way.

 But, of course, you already knew that.

It's A...

At what stage of gestation does a person announce a pregnancy?

I think it varies depending on whose opinion you are seeking. I have known people who have told me they were expecting almost immediately after finding out themselves. Others wait a while before saying anything. I even once worked with someone who hid her pregnancy so well that when she finally told me, she said something like, "by the way, I'm pregnant and my due date is this Sunday."

So, there are all kinds. I'm sure that people tell or do not tell based on their experience and maybe some fears. A new child joining a family must be announced in its own way. I do not share in the pregnancy issue. But, I have wondered when it is "safe" to announce our new child and who they are. When we were matched with Caleb, we basically hung up the phone from talking to our agency, spent a few minutes jumping up and down, and then picked up the phone again and started calling people to tell them about our son (see post from July 27, 2007). We were so ecstatic that we could not wait to start telling people. We finally had a person to tell about! Fast forward eight months to March 11, 2008. The day we actually left for China to get Caleb. The process is so long. Different from a pregnancy at least in the fact that most people can assume it will be about 9 months. Adoption varies. Referral times vary. Travel approval, paperwork, everything can take it's own sweet time regardless of if there is a child waiting on the other side or not. Waiting definitely isn't my strong suit. I really struggled last time because, many times I doubted the process and how long it was all taking. Additionally, it was difficult to also have to defend that same process for those who didn't understand and wanted to complain about it. But I can't overlook those who celebrated with us in our wait and helped us along every step of the way.

So, here it is. I face the same struggle. I have good news. I am announcing it today, but I still don't know how long it will be until we see China again. Our paperwork is still in Washington DC, for Pete's sake. But, we have news all the same that I'm ready to announce and face the wait again.

It's a boy!

We've been matched with a little boy who is waiting for us in China as we speak! His Chinese name is Li Ji De and he is almost 11 months old. He has a cleft lip and palate that have been repaired. We had told our agency that we would interested in adopting another child with the same condition as Caleb, since we have the experience already. We had also said we would be open to either a boy or a girl, and this is our boy! He is currently living in an orphanage in Shantou City in Guangdong, China. We are so excited to meet him and ready for him to join our family!

Meet Caleb's little brother...

6 months (March 2009)

9 months (June 2009)

I'm coming to the USA !

Ok, so I haven't been the greatest at keeping up with this blog lately.  And I won't make excuses for being so busy because I know that everyone has that same excuse.  That being said, I am finally trying to update and post a few things about what's been happening around here this summer.

Caleb has 2 more weeks at his current daycare before being home for a couple weeks with Mom, before starting preschool at the end of August.  He will be going half days to preschool, allowing me to sleep after coming home from work in the morning.  At least, that's our theory.  We'll see how it all goes.  I'm sad to see him leave his current daycare, in some ways, because our provider, Tina, has been absolutely wonderful.  For the past year, he has gone to her house on many days and happily played with the other kids who attend.  He has learned so many social skills, language, numbers, letters, and songs, among many other things.  And during our first year as brand new parents to our "instant toddler" family, Tina has given us a lot of help along the way with stuff that we simply just haven't known how to do.  So, we're thankful for her help this past year.

Now, being the seasoned parents that we are (that's a joke, folks), we are moving on and our little guy is growing. Soon to be a big brother, and he's excited about it so far.  We'll see what really happens when the new baby actually appears.  I think Caleb is more excited about flying in an airplane at this point--more than having a new baby in the house.  Every time we see a plane, he gets very excited and says, "mine!", as in, "that's going to be me up there someday!"  

A couple of weeks ago, we attended a picnic that was hosted by our agency, Holt International.  It was a great time to meet some other adoptive parents in our area and it was for anyone in any stage of adoption: just starting out all the way to families who had adult children that had been adopted through Holt.  We saw our social worker again and a local Korean church cooked all the food as a Korean BBQ.  We really enjoyed ourselves and continue to be excited for our future plans for China.

On a final note, the other thing that has been keeping me busy this summer has been cakes.  What I once started out doing as a teenager in a local bakery turned to decorating that I did for several years before quitting to become a nurse.  Recently, I have been doing a few more cakes again on the side for weddings and birthdays, and it's been a lot of fun.  So, I have decided to start doing this more often and get a small business going.  Check out my new blog MegBakesCakes for some pictures and updates.

That's all for now!  I hoping to post again soon when I actually have news about some movement of paperwork in the general direction of China.  Could it be?  It's currently stuck in Washington DC, but we'll keep praying.

I see the first official day of summer coming quickly and the hot weather is now here as well. It's supposed to be 92 today. Yuck. Time to settle in for some air conditioning.
Since life is in fast forward these days, I can see how almost a month can go by without having time to post anything. There's been a lot to do. We've had family visiting, a wedding, barbeques, graduations, and birthday parties. At least, that's been our weekend activities when I haven't been working, and some of it when I have been, too.
We have decided that our Caleb Wu is going to be starting preschool this fall. The main reason is that he will receive a lot more speech therapy than he is getting now. We took him to Boystown for another follow up appointment--we usually go about every 6 months--and they checked his hearing and we talked with the pediatrician there and the speech therapist. Both were a little concerned about his lack of language. Obviously, being 2-3 years old, he's not going to be a linguist right now. I've had many people say things to try and explain it away, trying to be nice, and say things like, "he's probably still speaking Chinese!" Ok, no. Actually, Caleb has been in the US almost as long as he lived in China. And, he was never babbling "in Chinese" at all. I know that he heard a different language for the first 18 months, but he completely understands English. He just can't say the words. I thought it was maybe related to the cleft, but the craniofacial team didn't seem to think so. Without a lot of extensive testing, it's hard to diagnose exactly what is going on. So, we'll just bump up the speech therapy for a while and go from there.
The process for Baby 2 is coming along also. A month ago, we mailed our immigration paperwork, and two weeks later received a letter confirming that it had been received. The letter basically said something like: thanks for applying, your application has been received. It hasn't been approved and it hasn't been denied. We're just telling you that we got it (so, I'm paraphrasing a little here). Please wait some more and, if we do approve it, we'll let you know when you can go to be fingerprinted. The next day, we received another letter from immigration: your application has been accepted. That's quite a turn around! Our fingerprint appointment at the Department of Homeland Security is a week from today.
Someone recently complained to me that "they make it so difficult for anyone to adopt! Why do you have to do all that stuff again!?" I find myself having to defend the process. We get fingerprinted again in case we decided to commit a felony since the last time we did it. We know we haven't, but the US government does not. Also, I know the whole thing sounds drawn out and frustrating, but obviously, it's worth it. We get to see this smiling face daily:

So, I will keep defending the process, although I wish I didn't have to. And we'll keep going, because it's not too bad, and some day it will be done.
Finally, my niece, Maesa turns 4 today. We went to my sister's new house last night for her birthday party. They had a great turnout and my other sister made all the very tasty food. I got to make her cake and I had fun putting it together:

Maesa was very excited and, since it wasn't her birthday yet, still telling people she was 3. ("I'm not 4 until tomorrow!") I will reminisce here for a minute and say that I remember very well the night she was born. My sister was in labor at our hospital and she had a small complication that required a NICU nurse to be present at the delivery. I was still working on the transport team then, and, it was my sister, so I went to stand by at the delivery. It seemed that there were a thousand staff people in the room, between the doctor, labor nurses, nursery nurses, and NICU nurses. A little overkill in my opinion. But she was great, and a cutie from the first moment:



And still a cutie today. Happy Birthday kiddo!

We've had a couple of full weeks around here lately, I guess it's that time of year.  In the next 3 weeks alone, we have 3 graduations, a wedding, and a milestone birthday to celebrate.   Some day, I will look back and wonder where all of these days have gone.

This past Saturday, we attended the wedding of a co-worker (mine);  traveling west to be there.  I also did the wedding cake, which was a lot of fun and maybe a little stress, but that's part of the job.  Driving with several sheet cakes and a large table cake in the back of your car for several hours made me a little nervous, but we made it all intact.  It turned out well and everyone seemed to have a great time.  

We also recently visited a new school for Caleb.  He has been in speech therapy for almost a year now and has been making a lot of progress.  But the past couple of months, I have been a little concerned that maybe he doesn't have as many consonants as he did.  It almost seems like he has regressed a little: words he tried to say months ago, I cannot get him to even acknowledge anymore.  I voiced these concerns to his speech therapist who agreed with me and said she was glad I noticed because she has been a little concerned, too.  Now, taking into account that my son came to the US at 18 months of age and didn't speak a word of English anyway, plus having a mouth full of scar tissue from a repaired cleft palate--it's enough to set anyone back some.  But we also can't sit back and say, oh well, that's just how he is.  So, we visited a preschool that he could possibly attend next fall.  It's through the public school system and he can receive speech therapy several times a week instead of twice a month as he is currently getting.  The program is for kids age 3-5, so we went to see a classroom.  My first thought when we walked in the door was, "oh my gosh, all these kids are so big!"  Caleb did not seem big enough or old enough to be anywhere near that classroom.  But the teacher explained that half the class is 5 and attending kindergarten next year, and Caleb won't be starting (at the earliest) for a few months anyway.  He just seemed so small.  I know, I know, I'm just being some kind of overprotective parent.  I don't care.  

But I am interested in this program and we sat through some of their activities and classes.  Russ is going to go and visit next week to see what he thinks.  We don't even have to make a decision right away, but we are thinking ahead depending on how things go with the speech.

On a further note, we also recently filed immigration paperwork for baby 2.  I'm not sure how to refer to this child.  We do not have a match yet, so there is no name or identity to think of yet.  I guess I'll have to be vague for a while.  Anyway, before traveling for an international adoption, for many countries (including China), you must file immigration paperwork.  It's a pre-approval of sorts.  This way, when we return to the US, our new baby will automatically be a citizen when we arrive.  To file this for this status requires filling out a 10 page application and sending a copy of our homestudy.  This was recently delayed because our final copy had a typo that needed to be corrected and it took several more days to finish and remail.  As I've said a million times before, such is life in the adoption world.  We're hoping to hear that it's been approved and receive an appointment to be fingerprinted at the Dept of Homeland Security.  Of course, there is always a chance that it will not be approved--well, just need to be changed--so we will have to make the changes to the application and/or homestudy and then send it back again.  And it keeps going from there.....

On a final note, in the midst of all of our traveling, Owen lived with my parents for a while.  He loves being at the farm and they, too, seem to enjoy his presence (at least more than I do at times).  So, he got to stay at his favorite place for several days and to repay my generous parents for that: he ate my dad's hearing aids.  Anyone who criticizes a beagle owner for having a fat dog doesn't understand that beagles will eat anything.  This proves my point.  Apparently, my dad thought it was safe to leave them out of his ears and on a coffee table.  Obviously not.  He left the room briefly and returned to find Owen sitting on the floor, chewing them up.  How's that for gratitude?  

Ok, I'm off to call the insurance company.......

Seating for 7

I recently had a conversation with someone about how I have a list of blogs that I follow, and, while I check them periodically, no one seems to want to update them as much anymore. I'm blaming this on Facebook. I actually do like Facebook: it has allowed me to learn about new babies, engagements, new jobs, gives birthday reminders, and just keeps me up with what is going on with most of my friends. I even recently was able to connect with a dear friend from high school, whom I haven't seen in several years, through Facebook. It was wonderful to catch up. So, Facebook is not my enemy. I just think it has replaced a lot of blogging that normally goes on, and I kind of miss it all. I was explaining this to someone, and they responded, "you're right, Meg. I check your blog all the time and you don't seem to update yours much either." Ok. Point taken.
As I write this, in a couple of hours, I will be leaving for the west to attend a graduation for a friend of mine. We're going to be carpooling with another couple and their daughter. We recently bought an SUV. We traded in my pickup that only had a small jump-seat and is not conducive to carrying toddler(s) around. So, we upgraded. Our new (to us) vehicle is touted as being able to seat 7 comfortably. Seven? Do I need to fit that many? When we were buying it, I was sweating. I thought, seven. That's a lot of children. Visions of the future were running through my brain of it being full of nothing but children. The screaming, arguing, DVD's playing, etc. I almost turned back. I mean, we're only working on our 2nd child here. But, we went for it, and now that we are transporting adults in it this weekend, I can definitely see the advantages of it. So, it was a good idea. And, I like to drive it.
Our 2nd adoption continues and we have finished our home study. I really like our social worker. I mean, she's very efficient anyway, but I also just like her as a person. We are currently trying to file an application for citizenship for our new child, so that when we go to China to bring them back, they will become a US citizen when we arrive. It has to be done before paperwork can be sent overseas, and is also almost always done even before you can be matched with a child. So, as always, there are snags. Communication problems, mail delivery issues, etc. I forgot how frustrating it can be. I imagine it is like what people say when they deliver a baby: you forget about the pain after the child has arrived. I've (sort of) forgotten how difficult it is to adopt because we have Caleb now and I haven't thought of it anymore. Until we are faced with these delays for our new one. I'm trying to be upbeat about it and do other things that are fun (or at least distracting). For instance, recently Phil Keoghan of the Amazing Race was in town, as he was riding his bike across America to raise money for MS. We're big fans of the show, so my sister and I found out where he would be and went to see him. No, we did not stalk his hotel room. He was signing books at a store nearby, so we met him and got his autograph, and he was a very nice guy. Not that I encounter celebrities all that much anyway, so what do I know? He took a picture with us, and we did not make him re-enact a scene of running up to the mat at the Pit Stop (if you watch the show, you know what I mean), but a woman and her husband who were in front of us did just that. He graciously went along with it and said his part so they could get the whole thing on film. Hmm. And I thought we were the big fans.
I'm off to go pack and get ready for the weekend. This post has been sort of a ramble because so much goes on in between the times that I actually do post on here. Then it becomes sort of disorganized, so please forgive my blathering on about the mundane. Wait. That's all of life. This is the same as Facebook; it just takes longer to read.

Newness

Spring can not come soon enough. That is all I have to say.
Ok, maybe a little more. We were lucky this week when the "blizzard" that was supposed to arrive ended up being simply cold weather and a bit of snow with hardly any accumulation. The flowers that have started to come up in our front yard have not known what to think. Our grass even needs to be mowed already. Now we just need some consistently warmer temperatures to go with it.
I love spring. It doesn't get enough credit from me, I think. I mostly really like fall because of the changing leaves, crisp air, etc, and that it is a prelude to the holidays. Spring is a prelude to summer, which I don't care for at all. But for those few weeks in late April through May, things can be quite nice.
This spring, we have much to be happy about and new things are going on all around. With Easter being only a few more days away, we decided to try and color eggs with Caleb and his cousin, Maesa.

This was actually not as much fun as I expected, probably because, when you are 2 years old, you are more interested in sticking your hands in the colored vinegar/mixture and eating the Rice Krispie bar shaped eggs that grandma made. The "fun" is really only what your mom and grandma think it should be. Such a time it was: we had the colors, eggs, stickers, the whole Paas kit laid out, but sometimes the fun comes when the kids are just a little older. Although, my niece, who is almost 4, did a great job with the coloring and the finished product turned out pretty great.

Caleb and I did enjoy one of our new Easter traditions, which is making Smeeps. We had the much simpler version where we heated the Peep in the microwave instead of delicately browning it over open flame as some would suggest, but it really did taste delicious. Since we are big fans of Peeps around here, this was a tasty new way to eat them. And the look on Caleb's face when I sandwiched it all together was pretty funny. Oh, and he enjoyed eating them as well.


There is one more thing that we are happy about that is new these days: our social worker will be coming for a visit for our homestudy next week. We will have two visits, and then we will be done! The part that I didn't say before all of this was that the reason we are doing a homestudy is because we are processing a 2nd adoption. After a year of being home from China, our family is "expecting" again. We hope to go back to China and go through the same program as we did for Caleb. Actually, we'll just have to see how that goes because in the adoption world, planning anything can actually be quite a downfall (see previous posts from about 18 months ago). Anyway, we are looking forward to a possible new brother or sister for our guy in the (relatively) near future. I'll keep posting as our process moves along.
Happy spring!

Gotcha! One year later

One year ago, we were in China and we met our Caleb for the first time. The next day (a year ago today), we headed to the civil affairs office to adopt him in China. As I look back over pictures of that time, I'm amazed at how fast it all has gone. The changes in him have been so subtle, to me, because I see him every day. But looking back at those pictures, I think, "wow! where's his hair? He's so skinny!" etc., and I know that things are definitely not the same.
I remember the day we met: we actually started out in Beijing, trying to figure out how to repack everything for another flight. We went to the airport and flew to Lanzhou. I remember thinking that once we got there, we could just go to our hotel and settle in for one last night and meet Caleb the next day (as planned). When we landed, we were met by Xixi, our guide and we loaded our stuff on the bus for the hour drive to the hotel. The first thing Xixi said as we settled into our seats was that the babies were going to be at the hotel that day when we arrived! Yikes! For the next hour, our guides talked about such things as the landscape around the Lanzhou area, what the Chinese names of our children meant, etc., but I barely listened. I was too distracted by thinking that we were going to meet Caleb, and very soon. What would he be like? What if he looked so different that I didn't recognize him? I don't know how to be a parent! What do I do??!!
We got to the hotel and nearly destroyed our lovely room by trying to put gifts together. We met in a conference room. After a few minutes of waiting, a man walked in and said, "excuse me, but the babies are here." And, one by one, they each came in, carried by their nanny/foster mother. I remember when the first child came in. It wasn't Caleb, but for a second, I feared that it was and that maybe I just didn't recognize him. But then, he came into the room, and I knew right away. I remember saying to Russ, "that's him! Look at those eyes!" And they were those same big brown eyes from all of his pictures. Those same ones he has today. The same face--he was smaller in real life. But real.
Soon, he was running around the conference room. In an effort to not totally overwhelm him, I did not attempt to pick him up at first. In fact, the first time I remember holding him was when he made a dash out the door and I grabbed him. Not exactly the tender moment that I imagined the first time I picked him up was going to be.
When his foster mother left, he cried. I actually didn't find out until later that she was his foster mother, having been told that she was his "nanny". Had I known, I would have tried to allow for more of a good-bye for them if I could. He came with us, though. Maybe he felt like he had no where else to go at that point.
After that, we either carried him or he ran. It was one of 2 things only. By that evening, we realized just how small he was--he had been bundled so much and was a skinny little guy underneath. We took him for dinner to KFC and he fell asleep in our hotel room. Day one.
Fast forward 365 days. He's asleep now, only it's in his crib in his room with his blankets and stuffed animals. He's now 2 1/2 and still running. Working on potty training. Wearing some of the same clothes as a year ago. He knows some numbers and letters, and chatters on about everything. He has friends at daycare and is taking speech therapy. He loves macaroni and cheese and pickles. His favorite song is "wheels on the bus" and his favorite movie is "Cars". He loves trains, cars, tractors, buses, trucks, and semi-trailers. And we love him.
The perfect addition to our family. Introduced to us one year ago. Amazing! One year and we're here where I never imagined it would be. We love you Caleb.

Winter isn't over yet

We received 4-5 more inches of snow last week and it's supposed to be 60 degrees on Thursday. Hmm. Welcome to Nebraska.