China...Part Two

We felt extremely fortunate on this particular trip to China. Not just because we stayed safe, had a nice time, were given the means to go,or that we were traveling with a lot of good people, although those are all good reasons for appreciating this trip. Additionally, we felt fortunate because Ellie has been doing so so so well...we were just so happy to see her smiles, hear her little laugh,and watch her interact with us and others.

After we met Ellie in Zhengzhou, we stayed there for several more days before we made a flight to Guangzhou. I, for one, was happy to leave and move on to the next city, mostly for air pollution and weather purposes. And, when walking down the street, we literally had to dodge scooters and bikes right and left, as they are everywhere: in the streets, pedestrian walks, sidewalks, etc. We took a flight to Guangzhou, the second leg of our journey, where we would stay for the remainder of the trip. Most people who adopt from China have to go to Guangzhou for the American consulate portion of the process, even if the baby is from somewhere else in the country, as was the case with us this time. So, our flight to Guangzhou was about two hours, and I sort of used this time as a small test to see how Ellie would do on an airplane (in part because, in the back of my mind, that long flight home was always looming), and she did OK. We arrived in Guangzhou late, met our guide, and were taken to the hotel, which was wonderful.

The next morning, we had to take Ellie for a brief medical exam as part of the immigration process. I was so thankful that this time, we did not need to repeat her immunizations before she could come to the U.S., which we had to do with Asher. The policy has changed back to the former method, where we instead just have to promise that we will immunize her. She otherwise had a basic medical exam, height and weight, and saw an ENT, who performed some basic hearing tests. I was curious as to his response, even though the whole thing was not terribly scientific. After his assessment, he turned to me and in broken English said, "she hear...a little," which was actually the same report we had gotten from her orphanage director when Russ visited. We had noticed this as well, that if we speak in a loud voice, she will turn and look, responding to her Chinese name. She also seems to notice when babies around her cry.

After the exam, she was declared healthy and we left to walk around for a bit. We were not staying in the same part of Guangzhou that we had been for our previous trips--Shamian Island. The main hotel there that many adoptive families use is currently closed for renovation, so we stayed off the island, even though we came back to visit and shop there. I still love the architecture and the feel of the place, which is different from the rest of the city.

A couple of days later, our group took at trip to the Guangzhou zoo, which was a great success. It was quite large, but there was a lot to see and Ellie seemed to pick up on a lot of it, pointing out many of the animals. Because it was just after New Year's day, there were a lot of people out who would normally be at work. We were also slightly harassed by a couple of park workers who followed our group with little bullhorns, shouting "do not feed the animals!" as if we were secretly trying to sneak them food. It was funny, at first...otherwise, it was a really nice day, the weather was great, and of course we saw a couple of pandas in the process.

We were starting to get to the point where we wanted to go home. Our hotel was lovely, we were doing fine, but I was missing my boys and really, living out of a suitcase does get old after a while. Still, we did get to spend time doing different things--some of it was similar to our last trip, while some of it was new. We went to the pearl market, walked around a huge pedestrian mall loaded with people, tried roasted chestnuts from a vendor on the street (delicious!) and ate at some different restaurants. My sister had emailed me early in the trip, updating me about how things were going at home. She closed by saying:

"Take care! And eat some weird food!"

This is my sister we're talking about, the true foodie, who tried all manner of organisms when she visited China with us two years ago. Without her, I was less brave for eating weird things, or maybe it was that I was getting homesick, which is probably why we also ordered pizza more than necessary. We did eat some delicious food on this trip. Of course, there were also times when I couldn't identify some of the food, as well (or, I could identify it but was not going anywhere near it. For instance, chicken feet found on the buffet).

A couple of days before leaving, we had our consulate appointment, which is when we finish up the paperwork for Ellie's visa to enter the U.S., thereby making her a citizen upon arrival. There's also this whole swearing-in ceremony that makes me tear up, every time. We were not allowed to take cameras into the seating area, and they even confiscated our GloWorm at the door, so we didn't get a lot of pictures of this time, important as it was.

I'm sure that I'm leaving so much out, although there is not nearly enough room to write it down (well, I could, but who would read it all?) By the time we were ready to head home, we packed our things, checked out of the hotel, and went to the train station, stopping to pick up the visa on the way. We took a train from Guangzhou to Hong Kong, staying at the same hotel as when we first arrived on the trip. It was so strange to check in there for the night, a mere two weeks after our first stay, yet so much had changed!

The next day, we got up and went to the airport to fly out of Hong Kong, directly to Chicago, which took about 13 1/2 hours. Ellie did very well, but slept very little. We had several people sitting or standing around us who were interested in her and who asked us a lot of questions. I will also say this: I really do like the people of China--they are who they are without apology. What we sometimes consider rude, they are not even bothered by, yet so many people also seem curious and interested in westerners and they are not afraid to show it. As an example, we had some extra seats on the flight, so I moved at one point to give Russ more room to try and give Ellie a chance to sleep (which was unsuccessful, as it turned out). I brought my laptop over to a new seat and looked at pictures from our trip and of our boys, while the guy next to me leaned over and looked at every one with me, as if I had approached him and said, "hey, do you want to look at some of my pictures?" which, I did not, but that's all right. Others, also, came to us and asked a multitude of questions about Ellie and us, every time we stood up or walked around out of our seats, which was kind of nice, until the end when we all just wanted to land and be done with the whole thing. At least we can say that it wasn't boring.

We are so glad to be home. Actually, as I write this, it has been a week! The time has flown. The boys came with my parents to meet us at the airport and ran down the walkway to meet us. Asher, in particular, looked as if he was a foot taller--they both seemed so big compared to Ellie. All three have had their moments of adjustment this past week, obviously so, but we continue to be amazed at how well everyone is doing. Ash is back in preschool, Caleb is back to speech therapy, and Owen came home a few days after we did. Actually, Ellie hates Owen and seems really afraid of him, but that is for another post entirely....

It's good to be home, our family all together at last.

China...Part One

We're home. And things are going well, actually. If we could get over this jet lag it would probably just feel so normal around here already. Ellie moved right on into our home without looking back. This girl just fits in here like a glove. It's amazing!

As you can probably get from this late post, I was unable to write anything from China. I even thought that I had it figured out before we left, since we had problems when we traveled in 2010, but I was still wrong. It was so frustrating to get there and realize that I was stuck and would just have to wait.

We had a great trip, although it was hard to say good-bye to the boys. For their part, they did very well and through Skype, we were able to stay in contact with them the entire time. Plus, my sister sent several pictures of Christmas so we could see them opening presents and having a good time, which did my heart well. It was weird to be in China on Christmas. Although there were many pictures of Santa (actually, the same picture of Santa posted everywhere), the day felt commercial-only. Many people told us "Merry Christmas!" but I actually think they sort of thought that was what we wanted to hear, seeing that we were westerners. Still, it was an unforgettable Christmas, to be sure.

Russ and I flew to Hong Kong, spent one night, then flew to Beijing on Christmas Eve. It was an interesting experience to be out on a pedestrian mall on Christmas Eve in Beijing, which was so full of people that we were often shoulder-to-shoulder at times in the party atmosphere.

There was also some sort of holiday show going on in the lobby of our hotel, but overall, it was a quiet evening. The next morning, on Christmas Day, we got up to meet the rest of our group and to make another flight. We had opted out of touring Beijing this time, having done it twice before--not that it isn't a great city or anything. Since everyone else in our group had gone through the tour, they had already had a chance to spend a couple of days together before we arrived. We met everyone for the first time and let me just say, what a fantastic travel group we had! Seriously, we met some of the most wonderful families on this trip. We met those of various backgrounds: some having adopted before while for others, this was a first trip to China. Some families were brave enough to bring their children along while others, like us, had made the choice to let them stay behind. There is something about traveling with other families through this important time that seals a bond--not just anyone can say they have traveled halfway around the world together to meet their children at the same time. We were truly blessed by this group.

We flew to Zhengzhou--a city on the smaller side, we'd been told, of roughly 8 million people. You know, small. This place was the capitol of the province of where Ellie has been living since birth and like our previous adoptions, the babies were brought from various parts of the province to the capitol city to meet their new parents. We stayed at a lovely hotel, although I must admit, I had a difficult time here because of the air pollution. The country is not known for its clean air, that's for sure, and I thought I had encountered such pollution and tolerated it well before. But this time...it was just, bad. Taking a walk gave me a headache after a while and there was a perpetual "fog" outside that lasted throughout the day. I had worse problems here than when I went to Lanzhou four years ago, and that city is classified as one of the most polluted cities in the world.

Otherwise, the place was so remarkable and busy and this is where we met Ellie for the first time. The day after Christmas, we drove to the city's registration office where we waited for the babies to arrive.

Ellie was coming from Nanyang and traveling with three other kids as well. They brought her in and she was wearing a big, puffy coat that was new for her and she was just so...quiet. She just sat there and looked at us, back and forth, for the longest time, like she didn't know what to think at all. She didn't cry, she just appeared a little stunned. We had to stay in this room for quite a while, signing papers, and we had a chance to play with her. She started opening up after a few minutes, got down on the floor to play for a bit, and even smiled a few times when we gave her crackers.

We then took her back to the hotel and she stayed with us ever since. After the first night, we went back to the registration office and then the notary tomake the adoption official. The first few days are kind of a blur, and were spent adjusting to this new little person and going to appointments.

Russ had an opportunity to go with several other families to visit Ellie's orphanage in Nanyang, a trip that was about four hours one way. Although Ellie didn't actually live there much of the time, it was the place where she was originally placed before entering foster care. Additionally, most of the babies often return to the orphanages for regular visits and medical checks, so they knew who she was. The families that visited were allowed to see some of the rooms that housed other babies, waiting for families or those receiving medical care while there.

Ellie had lived in foster care for roughly 16 months, from what we can tell. I believe she was about three months old when she entered her foster home, and she lived with the same family the entire time, which is wonderful and also sad. Wonderful because this gives her roots as to the concept of family, sad because they really seemed to care for her and although it was a temporary situation, it was hard to break them up. We also found out during this trip that she had a foster brother who is the same age and was adopted at the same time by one of the families traveling with us. Because we spent time with the families, the two kids still got to see each other, even though they had both left the foster home. It was obvious that they were used to spending time together, and they played and chattered away together like brother and sister. Fortunately, the other family lives only about three hours from us, so hopefully, we will see them again so that Ellie can continue to have that friendship with someone she obviously bonded with at such an early age. In the meantime, it has also prepared her for her own brothers, who she met upon arrival home....

I'm going to stop here because there is still so much to say. I'll include it in the next post and add pictures to Facebook but suffice it to say that...so far, so good!

We're going...soon!

This week, we received our travel approval to go to China! I was actually very surprised, as we had been told it might be another couple of weeks.

Surprise #2: We are leaving Thursday. Less than a week. Right before Christmas. Thursday.

Even if I thought that we would receive our approval when we did, I never would have believed that we would travel so soon. I mean, its the holidays, its the end of the year, it takes time to get these things done, etc. Because it normally takes so long to get the paperwork through, it's oddly ironic that we somehow have to pretty much drop everything and go. And yet, we've been planning this for a while....

It always ends up until the last minute. Even if I thought I were ready, I will not be. That's the way it is. Russ and I had a babysitter tonight, so we went shopping for gifts for the boys and to buy some clothes and sippy cups and stuff to take with us. We both were wondering aloud why we were doing this so last minute, especially when there is holiday shopping, Christmas parties, and any other number of things to do right now.

I am so excited to go, but there is a minor twinge of sadness because of it. The boys are staying here. That means I won't get to see them on Christmas, I won't be here to tuck them in on Christmas eve or see them open their presents this year. We had found a fantastic deal on a train set this summer that we bought for them and Russ has been setting it up in the basement for them to see and have on Christmas. But it is going to have to wait. More than that, I get sad thinking about their sweet faces and their silly songs. I know it is only 2 weeks. Asher cried and threw a tantrum at me a couple of days ago and I thought, "ok...I actually won't miss this..." I know we can't take them with us--it would be very hard on them with the traveling, the food, the time zones, etc, etc, etc. I know they will have a wonderful time with my parents and it is only 2 weeks. And we are coming home with someone very special.

I mostly just don't think about it right now. I don't want to miss them before we are even gone! So, I'm anticipating our travel, looking forward to meeting our girl, and hugging my guys a little bit tighter these days.

All Kinds of Thankful

This post is about a week later than I wanted it to be. I was going to say how great of a Thanksgiving we had this year and what a great time we had celebrating with family. And, we did. We had wonderful weather and my family was able to spend some time outside. We visited my parents' house on Thanksgiving day and celebrated with traditional turkey and all the tasty sides that go along with it--potatoes, cranberries,green bean salad, pumpkin pie, etc. There were way too many calories to go around that day.

Afterward, we went outside where my dad actually cut down a tree in the front yard. Despite the traditional food, cutting a tree is not a normal part of our holiday--and this wasn't even a Christmas tree we're talking about. It was actually just this large, out of control tree that was growing in the front yard and had gotten too big. I was a little sad remembering that my parents had planted that tree when they first built their house, 30 years ago.

My brother, taking some of the kids for a ride in the tractor. Check out Caleb's sweet tie that he donned for the day--it's actually left over from when he was two years old. :)

We took a family picture together, sort of an unofficial one to mark our last Thanksgiving as a family of four, before Ellie joins the group. I had some old pictures on my camera when this was taken, and scrolling through, I realized there was one of us from China in early 2010. Look how much we have changed!

China, March 2010

Our family, Thanksgiving 2011

We avoided the Black Friday shopping this year--honestly, I think shopping is hard enough as it is when certain children are along, so there was no way I was going to face the crowds on the biggest shopping day of the year. I think I'll take after my sister and order our gifts online this time, which I should probably get around to doing, seeing that we are now into December. Instead, we decided to put up our Christmas tree on the day after Thanksgiving. Let me say this: I love our tree. It's artificial and extremely easy to set up and decorate. However, there was a time when I was very anti-artificial trees. To me, an artificial tree was the antithesis ofChristmas tradition. It was way more fun to go out, find a real tree and have it cut down, then set it up and bask in the freshly cut tree smell for the next few weeks. The fun of picking it out offset some of the basic tree care, such as regular watering, adjusting it so the bald spots were in the back and vacuuming up the needles.

As time has gone on, though, this practice has become more difficult. For one thing, trees are getting way more expensive, along with everything else around here. I've struggled somewhat with spending so much money on something that was so short-term. Last year, though, did us in. We were set to go on our annual Christmas tree run and we had a place in mind: you went and picked out a live-growing tree and hadthem cut it down and package it for you while the place provided free hot chocolate and cookies. Perfect! So, weheaded there, but got lost, because it was somewhere out in the country. We then found it and realized they were only open on weekends (this was a Friday afternoon). We decided to drive back toward another place that we knew might be open but by this time, everyone (read: my children) in the car was extremely cranky and/or screaming (not me). We found the new place and pulled in, realizing they were only open until 5 pm. I looked at the clock: 4:57 pm.

Russ and I barely spoke at this point to communicate what to do next. We just drove to a store, went inside, and picked out an artificial tree.

So, I'm a convert, what can I say? It has definitely been much better and I do not need to remember to water it. I can see why people hang on to the "real" tree idea for so long, but we had a very easy time putting ours up this year.

Caleb did a great job decorating, although we had to rearrange some ornaments after he was done. Somehow, they all ended up in the same area of the tree...

The finished product

Today, we are having our first snowfall of the season, and it is awesome! I had to step outside and take some pictures, although it was an hour ago and as I write this, the ground is almost covered. It is falling heavily. I do love living in a place with a change of seasons, as we can enjoy weather and see how it transforms the outdoor world around us.

With that, the boys are coming inside from playing, and I'm off to make them some hot chocolate.

This family is considered to be "special needs." At one time, several years ago when we first started everything, I was against special needs. I thought it was a nice reference to huge medical issues that would require extensive care for the remainder of someone's life.

I suppose this could be true for any child, whether adopted or not. And every child needs love, attention, medical care and extra help when needed. In 2007, we started considering Caleb's (Wu's) file, and I then realized that a cleft lip and palate would be navigable for our family since I was a pediatric nurse. Oh, how much I have learned since then.

I know better about special needs. In fact, we are open to this, being that now three of our children have them. The boys were both born with cleft lip and palate, and Ellie has hearing loss. Do I know how to handle all of these conditions and the potential surgeries/therapies/hearing aids/dental work that we will face in the years to come? No way. Can we learn? Sure.

We have learned a ton about cleft lip and palate and yet, there is still so much that I don't know. I still feel like a doof when I visit with specialists such as pediatric otolaryngologists, pedondists, and prosthedontists. I don't know what these all mean and I'm not sure of their specific job duties, but they work very hard and have made many changes in my sons' lives.

We are seeing Asher advance in his speech that at three, he is mostly intelligible to those around him. His preschool teacher says he does very well in school. Of course, Ash was born with a cleft on only one side of his mouth, while Caleb had two. The first thing I learned: there are big differences between the two. Caleb, either due to his cleft, his high palate and overall mouth structure, or just patterns of learning to speak three years ago, have caused him to have a pretty significant speech disability. He is about 40-45% intelligible to the average listener and about 90% intelligible to us, since we spend a lot of time with him. This year, he has a great speech therapist through the schools that we see once a week. Last week, she gave me an updated goal sheet saying that he had improved approximately 7% since the beginning of the school year. I thought that was awesome! However, his current preschool is causing some difficulties because he is new this year and no one there understands him. Top it off with being the only Asian kid in the class and kids are starting to tell him that they don't speak his language (this is where I acknowledge that pain in my chest...it's my heart breaking...when I hear him tell me these things). He's five. I'm so not ready to see him move into those stages of life where he gets hurt because of misunderstandings. I want to protect him from that but I don't want to be a helicopter parent. He has worked so hard at speech for years and the progress is so slow, but it's there.

Alternatively, we will have a new set of things to learn about when Ellie comes home. Besides having hearing loss, she was born with a condition called microtia, in which the outer aspects of her ears were malformed. It's not very noticeable in pictures, although I'm sure it will be when we meet face to face. Microtia typically affects only one ear in 90% of cases, although in our situation, Ellie's is bilateral. Microtia is almost always accompanied by aural atresia, which is condition that results in absence of the ear canal, hence the hearing loss. Without knowing the extent of her hearing loss, she may need quite a bit of hearing augmentation.

It doesn't change everything, but I've started to take more sign language. We have used sign for years with the boys, as it helps with some of the language transition. We also now use it with Caleb to help him get his point across (although he doesn't really like it because he would rather just talk and be completely understood). Right now, I am close to finishing my most current sign language class--we just took the final and the instructor told us we learn 800 more signs this term. Plus, we have been attending a church lately that offers sign interpreted services.

What does this all mean? I don't know. I'm probably just rambling to say that our kids are not perfect and they have issues with hearing and talking that we will get through. Or, maybe so that if you see us on the street one day, you will see how well-adjusted and intelligible everyone seems (just kidding). I'm more just saying that, as many issues, tests, treatments and therapies that we do, I wouldn't change it for the world. I think back to the days when I would not have considered special needs because I was afraid. It was really only a lack of knowledge. Now, I can say that I'm glad I took the plunge because when I see these three little faces, I know it is worth it.

Happy Fall

Wow, November. Seriously, where does the time go? I feel as if I haven't blogged at all much in the last month and then I look back and, yeah, it's true. I haven't. This is because fall is simply full of activities, as I'm sure that it is for everyone. I've also been working on 3 large writing projects and some days, I have barely had time to do anything else. This makes me somewhat sad, because I feel like I'm missing out on some really special moments that we won't have again. We are very quickly spiraling toward our trip to China for Ellie and while I'm excited about seeing her, I know that once she joins our family, our lives will never be the same again.

We are experiencing the calm before the storm. And, it's fine. It's nice, actually. We can go places and enjoy things and be in this place where we are accustomed to our family the way that it is. But the "storm" is the trip to China, the weeks and months afterward where everything is in adjustment phase. It isn't terrible--I don't mean to make it sound that way--it's just a lot of adjustment that we will get through. Well, we have twice now, anyway, so I'm assuming we will get through this round, as well, until we reach the other side and find our lives adjusted again; only this time, with a daughter.

We've really had some good times this month, what with all of the fall activities, pumpkin patches and stuff around. The boys and I made caramel apples, but this year, I took the easy route and bought those caramel wraps, rather than trying to melt the caramels and come up with something to use for sticks. It was much easier for Asher, anyway.

We also took the guys to the pumpkin patch--a different one this year that was just great. They are still pretty little, and sometimes, going to these huge, over-the-top pumpkin patches that are geared toward older kids is a little overwhelming (see post from last year at this time). Anyway, this year, we went to a different place that was sort of designed for younger kids, or probably those less than 8 or so. We had a great time playing games, petting animals, taking a hayrack ride and sorting through pumpkins in typical fall tradition.

Last night, of course, we celebrated Halloween. Caleb was Superman this year and Asher was Spiderman. Normally, Russ and I also try to get into the theme, but has anyone ever looked at female superhero costumes? Seriously, there is way more Spandex than my own body can deal with. I considered going as Wonder Woman to try and stay within a theme, and considered getting the Lynda Carter wig and some knee-high boots. However, I don't think I could have pulled off the bustier and bloomers associated with said costume, even if it wasn't 40-some degrees last night. Enough said. We didn't dress up.

The boys had a lot of fun and we went trick-or-treating with my sister's family. Their next-door neighbor is Caleb's age and she was actually dressed up as Supergirl, so those two looked awfully cute together. There was plenty of candy and fun to go around.

Happy Halloween and fall to all! Hopefully, November will not go by without another post, but we'll see how this next month goes!

Two Boys and Their Beds

Ever since we moved into our house this summer, I have been so happy to live here. Although Caleb initially asked us to do a few drive-by's of our old house because he missed it so much, I have only gone along with it to be nice--not because I miss our old house, because, I do not. Since the day we walked out of the door and into our new home, I have not missed the old place. And maybe I should. Maybe I should be more sentimental about the place...after all, it was our first home and we have a lot of good memories there. We were thrilled to buy it six years ago. But after adding our children and our dog to the space, there were just too many times of feeling so cramped.

So, here we are in our new place, for going on three months now. And we love it. One of the best things about it is that the boys have so much more room--both to run around, climbing on furniture and railings and such, as well as more room for sleeping. Our old house was a 2-bedroom home, with the 2nd bedroom acting as sort of an office during the years when there were no children there. It was so designed to work as an office that it had an outside door that led to a sunroom, which led to the backyard. When we started putting children in that room, we locked the back door all the time, but I never really liked having it there. Additionally, having a large door on one wall takes up a lot of space in a room that isn't too big to begin with. By the time Asher joined the family, we had two toddler beds squeezed into that room, side by side. One bed was partially in front of the door, while the other bed was partially in front of the closet. I was small enough that we had to put their dressers inside the closet because the room wasn't big enough for two toddler beds and a dresser.

When we first moved, we transferred their little beds and dresser along and, even though they are still sharing a room, it was so much bigger! There was room for both beds, their dresser, and extra left over! (This is sounding a little sad). But we were happy with the space, as neither bed had to be placed in front of a window, closet door, interior door, etc. Just regular, old space like a bedroom is supposed to have.

After a couple of months of the little beds, though, we did decide to go ahead and get bunk beds. I must say this: I love bunk beds. Call me weird, I don't care. I always wished for bunk beds when I was growing up and I never lived in a dorm situation in college that used them either. But bunk beds, especially when considering larger beds for two growing boys, have been something that I've wanted to put into our family. And hey, we actually have the two boys to use them! And now, the space!

So, around the time of Asher's birthday, we put the bunk beds together, much to their excitement. I might add that this decision was in part due to a couple of things. 1. Caleb was still using his convertible crib that was changed to a toddler bed 3 years ago, which we bought sometime in 2007 when we were expecting him. He not only had outgrown this bed, but we wanted to change it back to a crib for Ellie. 2) Asher (via second-child syndrome) was sleeping in a toddler bed that we bought on Craigslist and that was falling apart. So, it was time for new beds anyway.

To make a long story short, the bunk beds are set up and excitement reigns in thatroom. They love being able to climb, and although there was a little bit of an argument at first (on their parts) of who would take the top bunk, they have been thrilled to sleep in their new beds. And, their mom is just thrilled to have the room to do it.

L-O-Yay!

Yesterday, while checking my email during the day, I noticed there was an email from our agency saying that we received our LOA from China! Wow--that was unexpectedly soon! For those outside the China adoption realm, the LOA is technically called the Letter Seeking Confirmation from Adopter, also called a Letter of Acceptance, shortened to LOA. It's a big step. It doesn't seem like a big step at this moment, because it really just seems to add up to more waiting. But it is our confirmation to China that we are still planning to follow through for Ellie and to tell them to issue our travel approval. Our timeline to travel at this point is in "11 to 15 weeks," which I guess is a quote with the average wait times for other families at this point.

This is a good thing. Through the maze of paperwork and waiting, we hold onto that stuff that we can and celebrate the big steps along the way. I love and appreciate having the confirmation that we are on track.

On another note, I suppose I should start getting my act together because time is running out to prepare to add a 3rd child to our family. We did move her crib into her room, but I haven't bought sheets yet. I'm still waiting to paint her dresser that was a gift from a friend. Meanwhile, her clothes are hanging or piled in various places. Shouldn't I be more prepared? What is the deal? I've always had a hard time with this part... I don't like to set everything up and have it sitting there, waiting to be used, but with no child here yet to use it. I don't like to see the empty room and the empty crib and the clothes hanging sweetly in the closet. Someone asked me recently about how I'm coping with the wait. As I've said here, I think I'm coping fine. I'm actually so busy that I sometimes fail to notice how quickly this wait is passing by because so many hours are taken up by the two children who are already here. Or, maybe I just cope by staying busy so I won't have to think about my girl, waiting over there. Anyway, I then end up putting things off until the last minute, until it is one week until we leave for China and I'm doing last minute shopping and arranging, trying to get everything in order, while simultaneously packing to fly overseas. Do other people do this?

Asher=3

What a busy week this has been! Each week, I think that maybe there will be a little more downtime, somewhere. Each week, I find out that I am wrong. I had thoughts that when both boys started preschool this fall that there might have been a few extra moments of sanity, but instead, I seem to spend the time catching up on all the things that I can't get done any other time when they are home. Oh well, to quote Natalie Merchant, these are the days we will remember.

Asher turned 3 this past week. What a guy. Seriously. I love this kid, even though of course, I love all of my children. But still, Asher has this sweet and kind way about him that I just cherish. And his laugh--when you tickle him, he laughs this deep belly laugh that you can't help but laugh along with.I can really see how he was given a Chinese name that meant "happy" before his adoption, something we tried to carry forward by naming him Asher, since it too means happy.

We celebrated by having a small party with our little family at home and thenon Friday night, we went to my parents house for dinner, cake and ice cream. He did great; he understands now what to do with a present, and he had a wonderful time opening gifts! Actually, a few hours earlier, we had been at the doctor's office for his 3-year appointment, where he received several shots for school. So, he wasn't feeling the greatest at first and simply hung out with Russ for a while, sort of spacing out and clutching a cracker. I wondered how long this would go one, but eventually, he came out of his shell and seemed to do better with a little birthday cake and Tylenol.

This morning, Caleb and I participated in a Fun Run as a fundraiser for his school. It was a1-mile run around the neighborhood. I was pretty impressed with Caleb, as he ran practically the whole thing. I actually went into the thing assuming we would walk most of it--I guess I underestimated Caleb'senergy levels--and right up until the start when the gun went off, I had walking in mind. Except that everyone else started running, including Caleb, and then we just didn't slow down. Afterward, we celebrated with some bagels and bananas and he has already told me that he wants to do another race.

Following the run, we then went to the zoo for a free morning for Asher's school. They boys are in 2 different schools this year, plus neither one of them is in our district where we live. Last spring, Caleb was in preschool with the public school system, but since he technically turned 5 in August, he was eligible for Kindergarten. We opted to keep him out one more year, and since we were trying to movein the spring, we weren't sure where to send him for a preK program. We finally decided on the school he goes to now, since we needed to make a decision to go somewhere, lest he end up being homeschooled becausewe couldn't decide on anything at all. His school is on the north end of the city. Asher, on the other hand, was slated to begin in the same program that Caleb was in last year, but since we moved, he was unable to go to our old school. So, they chose a new school for him, which is in the other direction, south of our house. Between driving 2different directions in the mornings and keeping track of show-and-share days, library days and teacher's notes, it has been a lot of running around. Still, it's only one school year of this. But, case in point, we ended up attending 2 events on Saturday for 2 different schools.

We did have a great time at the zoo as well. Asher is prettybig into animals, and is often fearless at times. There were a lot of kids from school there, as well as some former teachers for Caleb, so he was pretty excited to see them. Well, we all were, because we actually think the program is pretty great. Between the train ride, seeing the camels and petting jumbo-sized grasshoppers, I think the boys had a great time. And then it was time to go home to get some rest!