The First Day of Forever

Jia Qing is with us. Read that: Jia Qing is here and is with us! So amazing!
He is doing beautifully, as well. He has fit right into this family as if he has been with us the entire time and not just a few days.

We were scheduled to meet him at the civil affairs office on Monday morning and everyone was so nervous! Rightfully so. I’ve had a feeling about JQ since the beginning…that even though this adoption is different and he is older and that is an unknown experience for us…it will be okay. But it’s hard not to be nervous when going to meet your child for the first time! Still, we managed to get everyone together and ready to go.

We took the van down to the civil affairs office. We didn’t know if he would be in the room waiting for us, if he would be brought in at some point, or if something else would happen. Around here, things are often not as they seem. Even when we first got in the van, the guide said, “okay, it will take us about 20 minutes to get there.” Then, two minutes later, we arrived. Even Asher asked, “was that 20 minutes?” No, son, it wasn’t. So, we tried to be prepared for every scenario about where Jia would be, but of course, that is hard.

We trooped in and went to the 17^th floor. We are with another lovely family who are adopting a little boy who is 12 years old. They have a 4-year-old son who is also from China and who is with them on this trip, as well as several other grown children at home. Their son was waiting in the office when we arrived, he was so sweet and shy. He has a great smile. It’s a surreal moment when you first walk in and there is a child, waiting, in person.

But no Jia. Yet.

Our guide told us that Jia’s teacher was bringing him but they had to make a stop first and they were coming but they were not on time. Okay. So we then prepared ourselves to wait either another 30 seconds or an hour and a half. In reality, it was about 15 minutes. All of a sudden, they came around the corner and there he was! All smiles. He very shyly approached our family and we introduced ourselves and gave him hugs. He was nervous, but he kept smiling. 

We gave him a stuffed eagle that my aunt had bought for him and the boys were showing it to him. Then, we got out a racecar game on the Kindle and he immediately knew what to do. You could tell he had some experience with that! He does seem to love iPhones, computers, the Kindle, and pretty much technology in general. Yep, pretty standard 8 year old!

We had to sign only a few papers at first, since the majority would be signed the next day. In China, there is a 24-hour waiting period, in which you receive your child and then live with him or her for a day as sort of a trial period. Sometimes, this makes me sad to think about. I cannot imagine coming to China and then turning a child away after 24 hours, but it does happen. So, we started the first day, which to us was not a trial, it was just the first day of forever.

Our first stop was lunch. We went to a noodle place where no one spoke a word of English. The waitress even seemed confused by our wanting to order Cokes for everyone. Jia spoke to her and then she brought the right things out. I don’t know what he said, but it worked! 

Jia became more talkative throughout the first hour and through lunch. He wanted to sit by Caleb the most, and he shared his noodles with Russ and was making sure that everyone got some meat. Afterward, we walked back to the hotel and I took this precious picture of he and Caleb, walking in front of us, hand in hand. Brothers, already.

The first day was a whirlwind. We played in the hotel room, walked to Wal-Mart and back for some groceries, stopped for ice cream in the afternoon, watched some Chinese cartoons; showed Jia around the hotel room, where he would sleep, where his clothes were, and what items were his; ate dinner at KFC, played “bumper cars,” which is generally a game involving crashing Matchbox cars into each other over and over, and tried to wind down to sleep. By mid-afternoon, all three boys were like three peas in a pod and have been ever since. He even teases Ellie, which is also a favorite activity of the boys. She doesn’t like it, of course, but she now has another older brother!


The next day, we headed back to the civil affairs office where we signed the official adoption paperwork. Jia’s teacher was there again and we asked a few questions. We had been told that he had a best friend in the orphanage, so we asked about him. His teacher gave us the names of two boys that Jia particularly liked, but she said he actually had lots of friends. I believe it! We exchanged email addresses so that we could stay in contact and so we could send pictures and updates to his foster family. We signed a lot of papers and there was even a point where Jia had to sign with his handprint. Then, it was official. Jia’s teacher spoke to him for a while and he was all smiles. Afterward, he came toward me with his face shining, held his arms open, and said, “mommy!” and gave me a hug. Then, he did the same thing to Russ, saying, “daddy!” It was precious. I am wondering if his teacher told him that he was part of our family now and staying with us. It makes me wonder: that morning, we were getting ready to go back to the civil affairs office to sign those papers and Jia seemed confused. I tried to reassure him because it felt like he thought that maybe he was going back. I think he understood a little, but it wasn’t until that time later, in the civil affairs office when we had signed the papers and his teacher talked to him, that he relaxed. His joy was evident. I’m pretty sure ours was, too.