Pumpkins and Other Stuff

So, we made it to the pumpkin patch this year. A friend of mine took us one day to this place that we used to go to when I was growing up. Although, at that time, pumpkin patches were not that popular and this place just had pick-your-own strawberries (a huge treat to me as an 8 year old). Anyway, they have expanded to include a haunted house, other games, climbing stuff and a hayrack ride. Of course, picking out the best pumpkin (to Caleb) was the most important part of the day.

This was fun, but let's not be fooled. The day was also punctuated by Asher throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of it all. Not to put a damper on things, but I'm being honest: seeing my child stand, screaming, in the middle of a cornfield while other parents walk by, pointing and whispering, is not the highlight of my day. What I really wanted to say was "You've never seen a 2 year old have a tantrum before? Move on!" But starting a fight at the pumpkin patch is probably not a good idea.

A couple of years ago, right after we brought Caleb home from China,one of my friends had a baby. Around that time, I was discussing parenthood with another, mutual friend to usboth. She commented to me that it was hard for her to see us facing judgement from others all the time about our parenting methods. At the time, it didn't make sense to me. I thought, I don't care if people judge me...that's their own problem. But, 2 1/2 years later, and staying home full time, I feel it. And I know other moms do, too.

It's hard to take a screaming child anywhere and sometimes you never know when it will happen. As much as I would like to post cute pictures, that isn't every day. It's a snapshot of a great moment, that's all. Many other times, it is also awful and embarassing. And I can say that because, whether you are willing to admit it or not, if you are a parent, you've been there too. I've avoided the nasty stares from people in public, knowing they're wondering why I don't control my child better. I know, because I've probably done this to other women as well.

A couple of weeks ago, I went to the library to work on an article that I neededto finish writing. It was also my chance for the day to take a break from being home all day with theboys. I was working in the library and a woman nearby had brought her toddler. They were wandering around through the shelves, and he was having a meltdown because he didn't want to be there. I was annoyed. I went to the library for quiet and concentration because it was away from my own screaming children. I did not need to hear it there, too. I avoided looking at her, though, because I've been there.

So, for all those moms out there (or, really anyone reading this), let's go easy on each other. There's no need to judge or to make comments. We all choose how we are going to parent, if we decide to work or stay home, or if we are going to do it alone or with the help of a spouse. Mean looks and comments don't help anyone. The next time you see a mom struggling with her child, don't stare. Or, better yet, help her if you can. You never know when you might need some help yourself.

On that note, we still did have a good time at the pumpkin patch. I love this fall weather and it has been so beautiful lately. We'll enjoy it as long as we can!

Here are some snapshots of great moments: