Consider Adoption

November is National Adoption Month. I love to have the chance to do my part to raise awareness about adoption and the kids who wait for homes everywhere. Sometimes, I think the word "awareness" is a funny term: haven't people heard of adoption? It's been going on for centuries. But I also feel that sometimes people may look at our family or others and think about it, but not truly know if it is possible for themselves or someone else that they may know.

We are a conspicuous family. It's pretty obvious that, when Russ and I head out somewhere with the boys that they are adopted. I do get a lot of people that ask me about it; the process, is it worth it, or just sometimes the odd statement thrown out there. Responses for our family range from the nicely curious--("is this something you've always wanted to do?") to the rude ("oh...you can't have a baby?"). Entering into a conversation with anyone who is semi-serious about the whole thing often leads to discussions about each of our choices about how to build a family, which I love. But I also often hear from people who say things like, "I've always wanted to adopt, but...we could never afford that, or I don't know if I could love him or her as much as my other children, or my husband isn't on board, etc." This is fine. In fact, it's good, because the whole thing is not something to enter into lightly. But for anyone on the fence, or who is almost there, or just who has something in their heart that won't let go of the idea, I want to share a few things.

It used to be that adoption was a second choice--it is often still treated that way, but there has been something of a movement to change this. Many couples who wanted to be parents chose adoption because they could not have a biological child. Adoptions were often secret, with parents raising a child and never telling her the truth until she was an adult. Even our own first adoption started because we were infertile, although we could have done much more to have a biological child. I always wanted to adopt, but I'm afraid if I had a baby in the beginning that I would never have adopted my children because I was too busy or whatever else happens.

But we did adopt, and in so doing, changed our minds and our lives about what we want. When the time came for our next child, we did not even consider entering into infertility treatments. We adopted. That seems to also be the trend among a lot of people who are changing the face of the whole process as well. Even for people who can have a biological child, I've met many who choose to adopt because it is about the child and providing him a place to have a family, too. Loving him as your child may not be there instantly (although in some cases, it is), but just as any other relationship grows, so does your love for this child. I don't know if it is the same as a biological child--not having any of those, I'm the last to speak about that--but I can say that life becomes unimaginable without this child. I'm pretty sure most parents would say the same about their own biological child.

The transformation is amazing as well. What I felt from several initial photos to what I see now all the time is a wonderful process of growth and change. I see children who once didn't have a home that are now very much at home in their new family.

From this:

To this:

And this:

To this:

For those who wonder if they could afford the whole thing, it is a touchy subject. No one wants to ask about money (well, some people don't care), but the truth is, it does cost. It costs to pay for an agency or attorney to facilitate the whole thing; for documents to be notarized or sometimes translated; and in many cases, for travel, whether to another city or another country. It costs time and energy and requires emotional stamina when you don't have an answer about how much longer it all takes.

Cost is involved. But so is help. I didn't know this when we started, but I have learned a bit over the past 4 years about some of the resources that are available out there. For instance, many employers offer some financial assistance and the same family leave and benefits as a birth child. There are also places such as the National Adoption Foundation which offer help in the form of grants and no-interest loans as well as Show Hope, which offers ideas for fundraising. Google "adoption grants" and see what happens.

Last night, I was reading the latest news about the Duggars, the TLC family of 19 Kids and Counting! Apparently, the oldest child, Josh, is married and has one child. He and his wife are announcing her next pregnancy and she is due next summer. What was interesting about the whole thing was the sheer volume of comments that people posted about the situation: over 500. I didn't read them all, but I scanned through a bunch of opinions that ranged from supportive ("congratulations! what a wonderful family!") to the just plain mean ("insane! breeders!" etc). It made me sad to think that people give up so much time and energy to criticize people they don't know. On the other hand, I thought "19 kids? You could have adopted half of them instead and still had your big family and you might have made a small dent in the huge number of orphans who only wish they could have such a home."

There are 143 million orphans throughout the world. If you even think about it at all, even consider it in the smallest way, it might be worth considering or looking into even more. Maybe the time is right and maybe not, but I promise if you go forward, it will change your life. And a child's.

"Do not be afraid, for I am with you;

I will bring your children from the East and gather you from the West.

I will say to the North "give them up!" and to the South "do not hold them back!"

Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth...."

---Isaiah 43: 5-6

This year was Asher's first Halloween. I have to wonder what was going through his head as we dressed him up as a pirate to wander the streets with a thousand other kids. Once again this year, we went to my sister's home because her neighborhood is crazy with trick-or-treaters. We had a good time with our nieces and nephews as they went in search of candy. I was afraid that Asher would be overwhelmed by all the people, but after hitting a few houses, he figured out what was going on. He kept yelling "way me!" (wait for me!) as he ran and tried to keep up with the big kids.

Caleb was a fire fighter this year. Ever since we visited the fire station this summer, he has been so excited about fire trucks and when the local fire fighters were buying groceries in the store near us one morning, it was all he talked about for the rest of the day. Between that and Bob the Builder, I'll be interested to see where his interests go as he grows up. He's our hardworking boy.

Pumpkins and Other Stuff

So, we made it to the pumpkin patch this year. A friend of mine took us one day to this place that we used to go to when I was growing up. Although, at that time, pumpkin patches were not that popular and this place just had pick-your-own strawberries (a huge treat to me as an 8 year old). Anyway, they have expanded to include a haunted house, other games, climbing stuff and a hayrack ride. Of course, picking out the best pumpkin (to Caleb) was the most important part of the day.

This was fun, but let's not be fooled. The day was also punctuated by Asher throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of it all. Not to put a damper on things, but I'm being honest: seeing my child stand, screaming, in the middle of a cornfield while other parents walk by, pointing and whispering, is not the highlight of my day. What I really wanted to say was "You've never seen a 2 year old have a tantrum before? Move on!" But starting a fight at the pumpkin patch is probably not a good idea.

A couple of years ago, right after we brought Caleb home from China,one of my friends had a baby. Around that time, I was discussing parenthood with another, mutual friend to usboth. She commented to me that it was hard for her to see us facing judgement from others all the time about our parenting methods. At the time, it didn't make sense to me. I thought, I don't care if people judge me...that's their own problem. But, 2 1/2 years later, and staying home full time, I feel it. And I know other moms do, too.

It's hard to take a screaming child anywhere and sometimes you never know when it will happen. As much as I would like to post cute pictures, that isn't every day. It's a snapshot of a great moment, that's all. Many other times, it is also awful and embarassing. And I can say that because, whether you are willing to admit it or not, if you are a parent, you've been there too. I've avoided the nasty stares from people in public, knowing they're wondering why I don't control my child better. I know, because I've probably done this to other women as well.

A couple of weeks ago, I went to the library to work on an article that I neededto finish writing. It was also my chance for the day to take a break from being home all day with theboys. I was working in the library and a woman nearby had brought her toddler. They were wandering around through the shelves, and he was having a meltdown because he didn't want to be there. I was annoyed. I went to the library for quiet and concentration because it was away from my own screaming children. I did not need to hear it there, too. I avoided looking at her, though, because I've been there.

So, for all those moms out there (or, really anyone reading this), let's go easy on each other. There's no need to judge or to make comments. We all choose how we are going to parent, if we decide to work or stay home, or if we are going to do it alone or with the help of a spouse. Mean looks and comments don't help anyone. The next time you see a mom struggling with her child, don't stare. Or, better yet, help her if you can. You never know when you might need some help yourself.

On that note, we still did have a good time at the pumpkin patch. I love this fall weather and it has been so beautiful lately. We'll enjoy it as long as we can!

Here are some snapshots of great moments:

Happy Anniversary!

Today is Russ and my 6th wedding anniversary. Somehow, it feels as if it should be longer than 6 years. There has just been so much. This morning, while listening to the silence of our house, I was thinking about how I could not have imagined all that we would accomplish and do in these first few years of our marriage. Who knows what the next 6 years will be like? Or 6 months for that matter?

Our boys are with their grandparents so we could have a little time to ourselves. We spent yesterday morning being fingerprinted at the State Patrol (really, what could be more romantic?) Actually, since we are finalizing Asher's adoption soon here in the United States, but our agency told us that since it has been more than a year since our background checks, we needed to redo them. As if I have time to commit crimes or deal with being arrested, but, whatever. So, since Russ had the day off, we spent the morning completing that fun task.

We had dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, which was so good. The fettuccine alfredo with chicken and sun-dried tomatoes was amazing. As I've mentioned, we're foodies and although I don't have the most experience with cooking abstract and innovative dishes that include the highest quality ingredients that are organic and additive-free, I do love to eat. So, eating without a small child whining or throwing food nearby falls high on my list.

Today, our house is quiet, except Owen, who is still around and barking at our neighbor's garage sale. Otherwise, we have the day to ourselves. We have already had coffee and breakfast with friends to celebrate another friend's 40th birthday, we've looked at houses that are for sale in town (a subject for another post entirely), and we're thinking of going out to lunch, simply because we can.

It's a wonderful feeling. What am still doing here? I'm going to go enjoy our day.

Asher Turns 2

Asher turned 2 years old on September 21 and we celebrated with family and a small birthday party. He is still figuring out a lot of things, including what to do with a wrapped present. He still did not understand that the whole thing was about him, but that is OK. Caleb offered to help with opening gifts and pretty much did it all for him anyway. Strangely, I remember a time when Caleb did not understand the idea of birthday presents, either.

Asher's birthday is actually a guess on the part of the orphanage workers in China where he lived the first months of his life. He was assigned that birthday according to how old he looked when he arrived. He actually had a note pinned to his jacket stating that his birthday was in August, but we were told that some of the Chinese who live in rural settings follow a lunar calendar and the dates are off by approximately a month. So, his birthday is officially the 21st of September for paperwork and citizenship purposes. That's ok, we love him all the same.

This week we travelled to Colorado for the funeral of my wonderful aunt Cindy. She was an amazing person who left behind a husband, four children and two grandchildren when she died unexpectedly. Although I was happy to see my cousins and family, I wish it had been under different circumstances. We loved her very much and I'll miss her.

Asher did not go with us to Colorado, but instead stayed withRuss' parents. We dropped him off at their house on the way. I had some misgivings about this. Not that I don't trust Russ' parents to take care of him. And not because I thought he should have gone to a funeral. Instead, I was fearful that he would think that he was moving on to the next place to live. He stayed with them for 2 days, but he didn't know how long he would be there. Six months ago, he packed up and moved away from his world and came to live with us. Although we knew it was what was best for him, he didn't know anything. His life was not that great: he lived in an orphanage with a staff to child ratio of 20:1. But it was familiar. For all he knew, he was living with us for only six months and then going somewhere else.

So, I was nervous that he wouldn't understand. And he didn't. He cried fiercely when we left, but we had to go.

Then, on the way home, we picked him back up and he greeted us with the biggest smile and hugs. As we were packing to leave Russ' parents to take him home, he started crying again, very hard. We tried consoling him and trying to make things better, but to no avail. Finally, I realized why he was crying. He thought we were leaving without him.

We drove home as a family, listening to Zac Brown in the car. I looked back at him, happily singing along with the music and looking so content and it warmed my heart. All I could think of was, you belong here. You belong with us.

At two years old, Asher has a family to call his own and that makes him happy. He may not know whatto do with birthday presents or how to blow out candles, but he knows he has a family where he belongs.

I'll be the first to admit that I have been terrible with blogging lately. And I'm not going to make a bunch of excuses that there's been a lot going on, etc.,etc.,....but it's true. This has been one busy summer. Now that school has started and things are heading into fall, I'm looking forward to the change in routine. And, the cooler weather. Hooray! I know horrible weather/disasters/adverse events were all happening everywhere this summer, but jeez. We have needed a break from the heat and I think it is here.

I won't go into everything we did this summer, partly because it would be just plain long and probably not that interesting to anyone else. So, I'll just put a few pictures in here to sort of show what we've been up to this summer, now that it is so close to being over.

Happy fall to all!

Good buddies, Caleb and Owen

Asher tries to be just like his big brother

Our Asher is growing more every day...

Caleb turned 4 at the end of August

Back to school!

Mouth Stuff

Summer is closing in on being half over, but it has been pretty good so far. Today, I'm taking a moment to update before sending Caleb to summer school this morning. He has been going this week as an extension of some of the speech stuff he does throughout the school year. He will then have another month off before starting back in his regular program for the fall.

The boys both had surgery on June 22 and we have been so grateful to be with this new cleft team. I think they did a fantastic job and the care they show for Caleb and Asher is obvious. We went into the hospital early on Tuesday and Caleb went first for his surgery. He did really well. I may have mentioned this before, but he had a fistula open in the roof of his mouth after his initial cleft repair 2 years ago. So, his surgery was to close the fistula, hopefully improving some of his speech. I saw the roofof his mouth the day we went home from the hospital and it looked awesome!! Asher's surgery was second, and he also did a great job. His palate was still open since birth, so his surgery was to repair the defect. We were in the hospital overnight for one night and then went home the next evening. For several days, everything was great, although Asher totally did not like his arm restraints at all. He really let us know it, too!

After about 5 days of being home, Caleb got sick. After breakfast one morning, he began vomiting blood, so I called the surgeon and he met us in the ER. When we first arrived, Caleb seemed fine again, but I wasn't convinced. I know what I saw at home was not normal and I was so nervous that we would be sent home after observation. But then, he was getting sick again and vomiting a lot of blood. The color drained from his face before our eyes. Even the ER staff seemed nervous, like, uh, that's a lot of blood coming from that 3 year old. It seemed hard to believe that it could just be from his palate repair, there was so much. They whisked him back to surgery so fast. He was very upset and I was allowed to carry him to the farthest point before they took him away into the OR. He was crying. It was so difficult to let himgo!

Fortunately, things were fixed up. He lost a lot of blood but avoided a transfusion. His palate repair was bleeding in the top portion--in his nose. The blood was running down the back of this throat, so we didn't see it right away until it made him sick. He went home the next day, sunny as ever, like it didn't even happen. I love that about him!

We've spent the last 2 weeks recovering here at home and yesterday we went back to see the doctor for follow-up. The good news: Asher's repair looks wonderful. It is closed completely and he is trying to talk more all the time. He is in speech and making progress with some words. Both boys are on soft diets (an improvement from the liquids they've had for the last 2 1/2 weeks) for one more week and then they can eat normally again. They no longer have to wear their arm restraints (yay!). So, these are all good things.

The bad news: Caleb has a fistula that opened again after surgery. It is almost as big as the one that was there previously. Sigh. The doctor believes it is due to his mouth structure, and surgically closing it won't work until they do some other work first. So, he gets a month off and then gets an appliance placed that will stretch his upper jaw, hopefully after that he can get a prosthesis for theroof of his mouth.

So, it's a lot of stuff, but that's part of the deal. We rejoice in his successes as he continues trying new words. We also feel so blessed for all of the help and support that we've have received: hope and prayers for those who want to see our boys succeed.

Summer

How is it possible that we have been home 3 months? Where has this time gone? I don't know. I guess "busy" is an understatement, but most people with small children can say that. This has been quite the time of adjustment for us and I have been more than a little overwhelmed at times with doctor's appointments, attachment issues, and behavioral stuff. It's all so weird anymore that many times I have this surreal moment in time and think, how did I get here? Just tonight, Russ and I were in the kitchen with two kids that were having a contest to see who could scream louder. We looked at each other and I said, "remember 1997?" In 1997, I knew Russ, but we had not an inkling that someday, in 2010, we would be not only married to each other, but sitting in our kitchen with our two Chinese screaming little wonders. 1997 was a good year. Things were so much easier back then.....

Asher has been progressing, however slowly it may be. We have seen a tremendous difference between his abilities and overall development than what Caleb was doing at the same age. It is impossible not to compare the two. Asher, being in an orphanage, was terribly understimulated for the first 17 months of his life. For weeks after we met him in China, he screamed and cried over nothing and over everything. It hasn't been easy, I'll be honest. He had ear tube placement surgery in April and he has done much better. We are at the point where he is really so so much happier. He has this adorable smile that I saw in a picture once in January. In China and for a long time afterward, Russ and I, in our sleep-deprived/somewhat-not-clearly-thinking states often wondered if we had been given the wrong picture. Or maybe the wrong child! Turns out, it really is him. He's getting more teeth, and he is so much more interactive. We have been working with early intervention and even his words are coming along. He still babbles a lot but he imitates so many sounds and actions. He loves cars and trucks and he and Caleb have this chasing game going on frequently that I don't quite understand, but they have fun. So, it's a lot better and it continues to be so all the time. 

Caleb, too, had a rough time coming home. He decided that he did not want a brother. The excitement wore off after about 5 minutes and then we proceeded to deal with some really bad tantrums and other patience-inducing behaviors. I'll share this story of an early event that occurred coming home:

Caleb has been out of diapers for a year, but it can be expected that with a new sibling, some amounts of stress happen and kids regress. We tried to expect this, and Caleb delivered. He began wetting his pants again beginning even in China. On the day that we came home, we had a super long day. Our flight from Hong Kong to Newark was 15 hours and then we had a seven hour layover there before flying into Omaha. When we landed in Newark, we were met by some good friends, Lee and Lois and their daughter Larisa, who live in the area and who we haven't seen in years. So, we spent some time with them at this little cafe in the airport during our layover. The boys were even being good, considering the long flight we had just finished. They were drinking apple juice and we were happily visiting with our friends. Pretty soon, Lee and Lois had to go home, so we packed up our area and started to head toward our terminal for the next flight. As we were picking up our bags, I was annoyed because I realized that someone had spilled apple juice all over the floor. Some of it was even on my bag and I tried to wipe it off. I picked up my bag and some of it was getting on my shirt as well. I was trying to round everything up and get our children together when I realized that Caleb was walking funny. It was then that I realized that he had wet his pants. I then had the slow, dawning realization that it was not apple juice on the floor, or my bag, or my shirt! 

Because of so many little things, I have had trouble keeping up at times and the blogging has suffered. But hopefully, things will continue to get better. We have been having a great summer so far and we have much to look forward to. My brother got married last weekend and Caleb was the ring bearer. He did a great job and took his title pretty seriously. I loved seeing him in his little tuxedo--a replica of my brother's. We had lots of family come from out of state for the event and I so enjoyed seeing everyone and catching up with cousins, aunts, uncles, and longtime friends. It was great!!

Coming up on June 22nd, both boys are having surgery. We recently took them to see a different craniofacial team, one that is closer than the hospital where Caleb had surgery two years ago. We have also been somewhat frustrated with the first hospital because Caleb has had ongoing speech issues that I feel like they haven't been addressing. It's a long story, but I met a woman who was part of our local cleft team and we were able to get an appointment with them. It is thought that maybe part of Caleb's speech stuff has been related to the fact that he still has a large fistula (hole) in the roof of his mouth that opened up two years ago where he had his original cleft palate repair. The fistula is big enough that closing it (essentially having another half cleft palate surgery) may help with some of his sounds. Also, his upper lip has a very tight muscle and he can barely move it or show his upper teeth at all. Brushing his teeth every day is quite the project. So, he will have some work done on that lip as well to hopefully loosen it. 

Asher still needs his palate repaired, so he will have his done on the 22nd as well. The same doctor is doing both surgeries and they will be back to back that morning. I think we'll be in the hospital 2 or 3 days. So, I'm trying to be a brave soul here and just get it over with. Once we get through all of the hospital stuff, it should be fine. Then, hopefully we can just enjoy the rest of our summer......

Home Again

Ok, so when I last posted, I merely suggested that we might have trouble posting some things from China. We did have some issues last time with uploading things. This time when we left, I was unaware that Blogger is now blocked in country, a situation that I discovered the day we arrived. And so, for the next 3 weeks I had been unable to post a thing.

No matter, we are home now! We got in last night, very late after a long day and a half of flying. The flight from Hong Kong to Newark alone was 15 hours. But we made it! I'm so glad to be home and I'm happy to stop living out of suitcases and to get back into a new routine for Asher--I think he needs it. Well, we all do. It was a long trip. Not just in number of days, but in activities and, I think, stress level. I thought it would be only twice as hard to travel with 2 children as our last visit, but I think it was instead exponentially harder. Aside from several difficulties, we did have a good time, and of course, came home with a treasure.

We flew to Beijing for the first few days. Even though Asher is not from the Beijing area and we have been to that city, our agency required us to be there for an orientation, which was very helpful. We even stayed  in the same hotel--a plus because the area around it is full of shopping and many sights and they have a fabulous western breakfast in the mornings. We arrived after about a day and a half of travel, and the jet lag is difficult. I think this could sum it up:

Caleb actually had a fever for the first 2 days in China, so he received plenty of Tylenol to keep him going. I really like Beijing and I think it's a very interesting place. We had wonderful guides that showed us around. Some of the sights we had seen before and some were new to us. We visited the Great Wall and climbed as high as we could without breaking down into exhaustion. Just kidding, it is tiring, though. The steps are uneven and there are many places where it is quite steep. There are several places to visit portions of the wall and climb on it, since it stretches thousands of miles. The area that we visited is about 1/2 hour drive from Beijing, but the wall itself extends all the way to Gansu province, where Caleb is from (picture roughly New York to South Dakota). We had a good time climbing, and several adoptive families from our agency went on the trip.

While in Beijing, we also visited the Forbidden City and Tiananmen Square. Even though we had tried to prepare for the weather by checking the forecast, it was all much colder than we were anticipating. It even snowed our second night, so much of these tours were in the cold. While passing through many places, tourists are often hounded by street vendors who sell just about everything under the sun. Our agency warns us not to buy things from them, as they are usually cheaply made and it encourages pestering by other vendors. My sister Martha, who had come with us on the trip was really in need of a watch or some sort of timepiece, as she had forgotten to bring anything from home. She ended up buying a cheap watch from a guy selling them in the Square. The background was of a waving Chairman Mao. So, these will now be my memories of Tiananmen Square: cheap watches and freezing weather.

We did have opportunities to spend time with several other families also traveling to meet their child who are adopting from our agency. There were eight families from our group in Beijing, all from different parts of the country and all adopting children of various ages. Two years ago, when we were in China for Caleb, we travelled much of the time with 3 other families. Amazingly, one of those families from 2 years ago are adopting again through our agency (a different one than we used for Caleb) and travelled this time again as well! Really, what are the odds of that? They brought their daughter, who was in the same orphanage as Caleb, so it was really neat to see the two kids together and to catch up with them and what they've been up to in the last couple of years. We really enjoyed the time that we spent in Beijing.

The Forbidden City

Tiananmen Square

After going through an orientation about what to expect in Asher's province, eating fabulous food, buying a few souvenirs, etc, we left on a plane to fly south to Guangdong province--the area where Asher was living. The capital of the province is a city called Guangzhou, and is where we were going to stay for the remainder of our trip. All families adopting from China eventually go to Guangzhou, because that is where the American consulate is located. Most families visit a different province first, depending on where their child is from. For example, Caleb was from Gansu province, so we stayed there for a week two years ago before heading to Guangzhou and the consulate. Asher is from the Guangzhou area, so that is why we were there the whole time.

The area of the city where we stayed was a place called Shamian Island, a small area of the city surrounded by the Pearl River. The area was under British and French possession until the 1950s or so, and many of the buildings have a colonial appearance. It also just has more of a western feel to it, a little more removed from standard China. There is even a Starbucks, which I visited daily. I'm not even a huge Starbucks fan, but the coffee at our hotel was impossibly strong. 

We flew in to Guangzhou on a Sunday and prepared to meet Asher the next day. In the afternoon on Monday, we were taken into downtown Guangzhou to the Civil Affairs Office where he was waiting. There were also many other families from other agencies all waiting to meet their child that day as well. Guangzhou is hot and humid--a stark contrast to the freezing Beijing weather we had just endured. The Civil Affairs Office also was without air conditioning. Combined with the fact that we were so nervous, we were all sweating in there. We had to wait in a big room with everyone and the babies were in a different room--something of a staging area--it had a curtain pulled in front of the doorway. One by one, each child was brought out to their waiting parents. I remember our Chinese guide, Catherine, turned to me at one point and said, "you are next." I waited for a small toddler to be carried out to me. Instead, through the curtain came a woman who was helping a little guy to walk over to us. Our Asher! They stopped in front of us, and he looked up at her kind of expectantly, like, what are we doing here? 

He let me pick him up right away. He didn't cry (that came later), he was more like wondering what was going on. A little stunned, to say the least. It was very sweet. 

Asher remained with us for the rest of the trip. The remainder of our time was spent processing adoption paperwork for China and applying for a visa for Asher so that he could come into the United States when we brought him home. During that time, we got to know a few things about him and see more of who he is.

Caleb has been doing very well and is fitting into the big brother role nicely. Asher doesn't like him though, so I kind of feel bad for him. I'm sure he will come around--most people tend to take to Caleb right away, he's pretty likable (and I can't claim any responsibility for that!).

There is a definite difference between the two boys, and we noticed this right away. Caleb had been in foster care for much of his life before adoption. He went through quite a grieving process and had many difficulties with sleeping at first, but he was on track developmentally. Asher has been in an orphanage and not in foster care, so he is not able to do as many tasks as a typical 18 month old. He learns pretty quickly, though, and in the last couple of weeks has already picked up new skills. We have to keep in mind that there are so many things in this world that he hasn't encountered because, when a child lives in an orphanage, they just don't get to experience as many things, especially western culture. So, food, toys, clothing, and many other things are all new to Asher. It takes time to teach him what he needs to know and to give him the understanding that he is part of a family now. 

On our way to the Civil Affairs Office to meet Asher

Our family, finally together

Red couch picture day. The boys are dressed in traditional Chinese clothing to celebrate their heritage.

After finally processing everything, we received Asher's visa and took a train to Hong Kong to stay for a couple more days before coming home. We actually ended up staying at the Disneyland hotel. Even though I'm not a huge Disney fan, we really enjoyed our time there and received some much needed rest before braving our crazy flight home. 

So here we are, home at last. It's not easy to post 18 days of havoc into one blog entry. It was a worthwhile trip and we returned home with a treasure. We feel so lucky to have our two boys! 

Now, if I could just get over this jet lag......